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Who am I Now? (a poem)
Who am I Now
By Tony DeLorger © 2013
Who am I now,
this reflection stark and hard-edged,
staring back at me with questioning eyes,
lost in the passage of time that brought me here.
How did I come to this,
the weathered lines of life betraying,
the grey of bleached hair spreading,
and I, oblivious to the road, only the end.
Did I blink and the world rushed by,
as if to prank my inattention,
or perhaps I slept through it,
and woke to find me someone else.
Time must have dragged me kicking and screaming,
'cause I don't remember; I must have fought,
and those children I bounced on my knee,
their pictures on my side table alive with their own children.
What is that stomach below,
hanging, looming over the sink,
the rib of my jumper stretching, open,
and I with chins, I'm sure God gave me one.
Like a blur, my life is passing,
and those eyes keep delving into the core of me,
judging me, pitying me,
and I can't blame them, the mirror doesn't lie.
My hands upon my face I feel for recognition, but find none,
each bump and whisker as new as a newborn butt,
but as old as the withered dude who captured me,
who holds me fast in front of that damned mirror.
Closing my eyes I pray that it's a dream,
then open, and I'm twenty something, what I should be,
but truth's a bitch, and I'm even greyer than before,
even more rotund and top-heavy.
I sometimes wonder why I do this every morning,
put myself through such scrutiny, such reality,
and I just shrug,
Hell, I haven't even had a coffee.
Life goes too quickly, so don't waste time thinking about the past. Live for now!