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Why Did I Honk At You?

Updated on November 17, 2017
Huh?
Huh? | Source

Judging by your blank, deer-in-the-headlights stare, you’re wondering why I honked at you today.

It’s a real head scratcher for you, I can tell.

You don’t recall putting a bumper sticker on your car that says, “Honk if you think I’m sexy.” Maybe you think I’m crazy. Maybe my horn is broke. Or maybe you think I like to honk at random good drivers to scare the poop out of them.

Well, since you are obviously pretty clueless, let me enlighten you. I don’t honk at random people and I don’t find you remotely sexy. The crazy issue is debatable, but I assure you, there is a good reason for me laying on the horn. Here are a few reasons why I honked at you:

You’re swerving into my lane

See Jane pass Dick. Oh no, Dick doesn't see Jane because he is too busy trying to find his favorite radio station. OOPS. Swerve Dick, swerve. DICK! You almost hit Jane! See Jane use censored hand gestures.

Source
And then, she's like, wow...and I'm like, I know!  And then she's like no way...and I'm like, yes way...what I am doin' right now?  Oh, just driving, no biggie!  So anyway, she's like....
And then, she's like, wow...and I'm like, I know! And then she's like no way...and I'm like, yes way...what I am doin' right now? Oh, just driving, no biggie! So anyway, she's like.... | Source
This red light is the perfect place for a cat nap...zzzzzzz
This red light is the perfect place for a cat nap...zzzzzzz | Source

You forgot that you have a turn signal

Guess what I’m going to do?! It’s a fun game! I’m going to stop suddenly and do something! Can you guess? Ha! I bet you can’t! I might turn left, I might turn right…who knows?? Huh. Wouldn't it be great if they invented something to help other drivers figure out and maybe warn them that I’m going to turn soon? Oh, I’d be a millionaire if I invented that!! Oh well, in the meantime, try not to rear end me when I decide to turn into the McDonald's at the last minute! WEEEEEE!

Multitasking

Look at this lady, she must be a professional juggler for the circus! What talent! She can eat, text, and put on her lipstick all while driving! Ok, she isn't accomplishing the driving part very well, but 3 out of 4 ain't bad. For her next trick, she’s going to try not to wrap her car around a pole!

You pulled out in front of me at the last minute and then went 20 miles under the speed limit:

THANK YOU SO MUCH for deciding to pull out in front of me. Now I know my brakes work! Since you were such a desperate hurry to get in front of me, you are going to pick up the pace, right? Nope, I guess not. Suddenly you lost all your hustle and bustle after I almost kissed the steering wheel. Now you have all the time in the world. Funny how that works.

You fell asleep at the green light

Awww sweetie, I’m sorry I woke you up! I know it’s your nappy time but I have places to go today. So get your thumb out of your…mouth and MOVE IT!!

Road Rage Karma

In summary....

As you can see, my horn is the supreme herald of your idiocy. Ok, a nicer way of saying it is: it’s the sound of caring. I care that you don’t kill me. I care a lot. So next time, instead of being in the mental fog you usually drive in, focus on actually driving for a change. Speaking for myself and fellow drivers everywhere, I sincerely appreciate it.

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    • hecate-horus profile image
      Author

      hecate-horus 5 years ago from Rowland Woods

      I always feel little gulity about using my horn, but it's seems to be a reflex in some situations. It's basically my way of saying, "Hey! Stop being stupid!" Thanks for reading, Glimmer Twin Fan!

    • hecate-horus profile image
      Author

      hecate-horus 5 years ago from Rowland Woods

      Thanks for reading and commenting, Aviannovice!

    • Glimmer Twin Fan profile image

      Claudia Mitchell 5 years ago

      Although I try not to, there are many times I enjoy using my horn. And then I grumble for a while about the person that wronged me while I was driving. Fun hub!

    • aviannovice profile image

      Deb Hirt 5 years ago from Stillwater, OK

      Yep, we have all been a victim of this prime scenario, likely more than once.

    • hecate-horus profile image
      Author

      hecate-horus 5 years ago from Rowland Woods

      I'm a "can't chew gum and walk" kind of person, so when I drive, that's all I do.... I guess it frustrates me when other drivers don't seem to have my level of focus! LOL. Thanks for your comment!

    • Ericdierker profile image

      Eric Dierker 5 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      I think your hub is a public service announcement to get us to chill out.

      I meditate quite a bit. The rule is not to meditate while driving. But there is a type mindfulness meditation that has you being hyper alert to surroundings. You can get your self to be totally focused on your surroundings and your driving. Wow is in calming and you end up driving really well.

    • hecate-horus profile image
      Author

      hecate-horus 5 years ago from Rowland Woods

      That's pretty clever! :) Thanks for the comment and accolades!

    • rfmoran profile image

      Russ Moran - The Write Stuff 5 years ago from Long Island, New York

      Fun hub, rated up and funny. I once saw a sign that said: "Honk if your horn doesn't work." I almost drove off the road laughing,

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