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Why Do I Always Have To Be On Top?

Updated on June 16, 2013

Each morning I dread the thought

Of what the night will bring.

Every night at bedtime

It’s always the same thing.

It always leads to trouble.

It’s always such a fight.

Which one of us will be the one

To be on top tonight?

I probably wouldn’t mind so much

But it doesn’t seem that fair.

If being on top ain’t so bad

Then why aren’t you up there?

I never really used to care

But I’m starting to get mad.

I swear you’ve made me be on top

From the very first date we had!

Maybe I should be grateful

Just sharing the same room.

As a bride, my biggest job

Is keeping a happy groom.

If you really love me

And want a happy bride

Then you will have to take your turn

Stop worrying about your pride.

I’ve more than compromised

I’ve given you your way.

I’d like to think I’ll have a chance

To be on bottom someday!

I understand why you fight it

Being on top takes more work

So doesn’t it seem by forcing me

You’re kind of being a jerk?

I guess for now, I’ll shut my mouth

And just keep getting up on top.

But if you’re ever feeling froggy,

Please, by all means, hop!

Tonight I’ll just smile

And lay my weary head

Tomorrow, might we talk about

Getting rid of this bunk bed?

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    • shanmarie profile image

      Shannon 3 years ago from Texas

      I knew you were going somewhere with that unexpected and I still couldn't quite figure it out until I saw the picture of the bunk bed. Haha. Was Heart your inspiration? LOL...thanks for that song in my head now.

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Wickedly funny. Like shanmarie, I knew where this was going but I was enjoying the trip nonetheless. Great fun, Cat, and nicely written.

      bill

    • Theater girl profile image

      Jennifer 3 years ago from New Jersey

      Sometimes Cat, you just know when I need a laugh.....thanks for this one ! Nobody does funny like you !

    • Kathryn Stratford profile image

      Kathryn 3 years ago from Manchester, Connecticut

      I had a feeling there would be a twist to this, but a bunk bed didn't cross my mind! Haha, that is so funny!

    • Ericdierker profile image

      Eric Dierker 3 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Poor me, I guess I am just very old fashion. Just by reading the title, all I could think about was bunk beds. How many times I whined that same whine ;-)

    • Theater girl profile image

      Jennifer 3 years ago from New Jersey

      Cat, my dear Cat, you always seem to have a laugh ready when I need one! Thanks for this one! Nobody does funny like you!

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
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      Cat 3 years ago from New York

      Shan,

      You like that song? Ha ha... I'm such a cheese ball; I wrote the poem first without the song in mind... when I finished and stopped to think about what songs referenced sleeping and that popped in my head... I said 'I'm using it and I don't care if it makes sense!'... I love that song :D

      Thanks girly!

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      Cat 3 years ago from New York

      Thanks Billy! I wanted to be sneaky… but I’d probably had to have gotten quite dirty to be more convincing… maybe another day :D

      Thanks again!

      Cat

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
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      Cat 3 years ago from New York

      Theater girl,

      Ha ha ha! Thanks a lot… trust me, I know when I need a laugh… it’s a nice change from all the crying :D

      Thanks again, I really appreciate it!

      Cat

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      Cat 3 years ago from New York

      Kathryn Stratford,

      I was thinking about trying to tie Hard Frank Tots in here… but just couldn’t figure out how :D

      Thanks a lot!

      Cat

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
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      Cat 3 years ago from New York

      Ericdierker,

      Yeah right! You cracked me up Mr. Dierker! You’re a good sport though, I’m sure you always got on top with a smile on your face :D

      Thanks Eric!

      Cat

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
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      Cat 3 years ago from New York

      Theater girl,

      Back again... you want have a slumber party? You can have bottom :D

    • shanmarie profile image

      Shannon 3 years ago from Texas

      Actually, yes, I do like that song and I did wonder what the heck it had to do with the price of tea in China. :D But, yeah. . . your mind is a strange one. Hehe. . .

      You know, my sister and I used to fight over who got to sleep on the top bunk when I was little. We were forced to take turns. LOL

    • Romeos Quill profile image

      Romeos Quill 3 years ago from Lincolnshire, England

      Well, Cat o' nine tails, some people always marry beneath them, and this one kind of reminds me of that Joan Rivers quote:

      " I blame my mother for my poor sex life.All she told me was, ' The man goes on top, and the woman, underneath '.For three years, my husband and I slept in bunk beds."

      Top bunk was always better as a kid;it was so much easier to annoy the person below :)

      Happy gardening,

      R.Q. :P

    • Abby Campbell profile image

      Abby Campbell 3 years ago from Charlotte, North Carolina

      Cat, you are so funny! I didn't get what you were talking about until I read halfway through. Hmmm... I was going to say something, but I think I will refrain. So, how 'bout that cup of coffee? LOL.

    • Man of Strength profile image

      Man of Strength 3 years ago from Orlando, Fl

      Hi Cat,

      Once again you've graced us with a brilliant hub. This time I had no clue how this one was going to end.I learned two things though. First, whenever I read your work I need to expect the unexpected. Second, I need to get my mind out of the gutter. Thanks friend. ;-)

    • drbj profile image

      drbj and sherry 3 years ago from south Florida

      Very clever, Cat, and a fine pun since you waited 'til the very last two words for the denouement. Which is often difficult to accomplish.

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
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      Cat 3 years ago from New York

      Shan,

      I knew you were a cheese ball like me… but even back then? Ha ha ha… must be thanks to our mother! Strange… maybe, don’t forget we share the same genes :D

      Yeah… well, I was the youngest, with two older brothers and I got stuck on a bunk bed up at camp. That thing was about six inches from the ceiling and I used to smash my face into it every morning when I’d wake up… I hate the top! :D

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      Cat 3 years ago from New York

      Romeos Quill,

      That Joan River’s quote is pretty cute… but I’d bet there’s plenty of women who’d say ‘So what was the problem?’ :D

      The way I sleep; I’d end up on the floor!

      Thanks! I’ve got tons of green coming up… can’t wait to see some other colors too! :D

      Cat

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      Cat 3 years ago from New York

      Abby Campbell,

      Ha ha… thanks! You don’t know how many times I had to reword my words so I wouldn’t get kicked outta here! :D Coffee… yes, I’ll call you in a month or so! ;-)

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
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      Cat 3 years ago from New York

      Man of Strength,

      He says ‘brilliant’! :D I’m probably predictably unpredictable… and if your mind was in the gutter… then I did what I set to do! :D

      Thanks for coming over!!!

      Cat

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      Cat 3 years ago from New York

      drbj,

      Yes; she says ‘clever’! You’re going to be one of those smart people that makes me ‘Google’ :D

      All I knew was I wanted to talk about bunk beds… I just had no idea what to put on top! Thanks… I really appreciate the funny lady’s compliment!

    • wayne barrett profile image

      Wayne Barrett 3 years ago from Clearwater Florida

      Oh, you witty naughty girl! : )

      I knew you were going somewhere with this, but I didn't mind...I loved the ride.

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 3 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      Cat.......Creative and clever as can be!! LOVE this. You are amazing. UP+++

    • MichaelJohnMele profile image

      Michael John Mele 3 years ago from Seffner, Florida

      Girl...you are freaking awesome! Another masterpiece...very creative and as always very funny.

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
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      Cat 3 years ago from New York

      Wayne,

      Ha ha... I just envisioned you saying that like Austin Powers!

      Keepin' it PG ;-)

      Thanks Wayne, I always love to see you!

      Cat

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      Cat 3 years ago from New York

      Paula,

      I’m afraid the title might be keeping my nun friends away :D … thank God you’re not a nun!

      Thanks so much… you’re amazing!

      Cat

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      Cat 3 years ago from New York

      Michael!!! Where've you been all my life? :D .... How did I know this title would get you over here? Ha ha

      I haven't gotten anything from you in a while.... I'll have to go sniffing around ;-) I hope all is well buddy bear!

      Hugs,

      Cat

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      Cat 3 years ago from New York

      Dearest Colin,

      Hey... that last line might be the difference between me roaming free or being hanged by the HP community :D ... I seem to find a way to get myself in trouble everywhere I go :-)

      Thought I was talking about something else? hmmm......

      We are all happy here in HPland.... and how could we not be with the stellar people who reside here :D

    • MizBejabbers profile image

      MizBejabbers 3 years ago

      OK, Cat, I had it figured out cause my kids had bunk beds. The older one always chose the bottom one so he could stash his stuff underneath. The younger one wanted the top one so he could throw things off it. It was still funny, funny lady.

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
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      Cat 3 years ago from New York

      MizBejabbers,

      I should've known I wouldn't be able to get anything past you! :D

      My brothers had bunk beds and both wanted the bottom because it came with a shelf and it was quicker to sneak in and out of bed :D

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 3 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      Cat....and how many NUN-friends do you have? and why ?

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
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      Cat 3 years ago from New York

      Ha ha ha... well, now that I'm not allowed at the convent anymore; NONE! :-(

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 3 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      YOU, are simply too damned funny! LOL

    • MichaelJohnMele profile image

      Michael John Mele 3 years ago from Seffner, Florida

      @Cat you know I'm always here...and there...and sometimes nowhere...and even over there.

    • LadyLLD profile image

      LadyLLD 3 years ago

      Very nice Cat, your hub sure did put a smile on my face. I have to follow you for brighter days. LOL!

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      Cat 3 years ago from New York

      Paula,

      Takes funny to know funny :D

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
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      Cat 3 years ago from New York

      Yes Michael… because that’s where I play too :D

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
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      Cat 3 years ago from New York

      LadyLLD,

      Aw, thanks; I’m glad I made you smile! I’m flattered and I’ll have to stop by your way and check out that other hub of yours!

      Cat

    • MichaelJohnMele profile image

      Michael John Mele 3 years ago from Seffner, Florida

      Cat we rock...we kick donkey...and all that good stuff.

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
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      Cat 3 years ago from New York

      Ha ha ha! Hey... wrote any good blogs lately? Wait... I'll rephrase that; wrote any blogs lately? Ha ha ha... I'm just kidding, they're all better than good; They're Gre-e-e-a-t! (Yes, a little tribute to our good friend Tony the Tiger... he says high by the way and wants to know why you've been eating Cocoa Puffs?)

    • MichaelJohnMele profile image

      Michael John Mele 3 years ago from Seffner, Florida

      Cat...that was cold...funny...but cold. I actually did write a couple new blogs...now would I call them good...well that's not for me to say LOL.

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
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      Cat 3 years ago from New York

      Ah, you know me Michael; I'm cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs! I'm playin' ... I'm holding me eyelids open now... but I'll come by you're way tomorrow and check 'em out. And they're always GREAT just like you! :D

    • ahorseback profile image

      ahorseback 3 years ago

      Cat - Shame on you for the imaginative playing around ! I was really going somewhere with this ! You owned me ........bunk beds - ahh you make a old guy smile , thank you darlin!........:-}

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
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      Cat 3 years ago from New York

      Eh... eh, you like that? Ha ha! If only I took some of your lines and added them to this... scratch the last sentence; well, we'd either have a heck of poem... or, we'd get kicked out've this place... lol

      Big hugs Ed!

    • profile image

      Poetic Fool 3 years ago

      Hi, Cat! This was such a fun and enjoyable read! I needed the laugh today. Thanks!

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
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      Cat 3 years ago from New York

      Poetic Fool,

      Thank you; I'm glad I could make you laugh... you've done it for me!

    • writinglover profile image

      Jennifer 3 years ago from Lost...In Video Games

      HA! This was too funny! Loved it and the pictures too! Voted it up!

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
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      Cat 3 years ago from New York

      Thanks... I've been in a goofy mood lately! I'll be by later for my next installment on that 'Mind Games' of yours!

    • writinglover profile image

      Jennifer 3 years ago from Lost...In Video Games

      You weren't the only one! I'll see you later! :D

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
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      Cat 3 years ago from New York

      Ha ha.... hey, nobody's looking... I'm on my way now! :D

    • writinglover profile image

      Jennifer 3 years ago from Lost...In Video Games

      Okay...look both ways before crossing the street! LOL

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
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      Cat 3 years ago from New York

      Crap! I could've used that advice before I attempted... I was hit and just gimped up reading your 'Mind Games' lol

    • mr-veg profile image

      mr-veg 3 years ago from Colorado United States

      Thats a nice twist to the tale :) When I started reading was wondering where did the CATHumor go ? And as I was approaching the end it came and stood right in front of me... making me smile... Good one Cat as always !!!

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
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      Cat 3 years ago from New York

      mr-veg,

      This Cat might get a little sentimental... but usually I got at least a little goof in me... you know me too well!

      I'm glad I made you smile... now you made me smile too!

      Thanks a bunch buddy!

      Cat

    • ahorseback profile image

      ahorseback 3 years ago

      Cat I've been thinking ......., A poem thats really going places until one last line like this !, Its really toying with a mans mind ,body and soul , how could you lead me on like this .....I'm hurt , really hurt !...:-{.....Ed

    • Au fait profile image

      C E Clark 3 years ago from North Texas

      Great work. Humor is truly your talent!

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      Cat 3 years ago from New York

      Ha ha Ed... you're too funny. Me, if I wrote anything like this without that last line, they'd kick me out of here! When I need to get my passion fixes, I'll come read your hubs!!! Though todays' hubs of yours wouldn't have accomplished that... you must've gotten bit by the goofy bug! ha ha!

      I still love ya!

      Cat

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      Cat 3 years ago from New York

      Au fait!

      Thank you! I actually thought of you after I wrote this and said 'Oy, I can only imagine what she was thinking when the notification for this hub came in' ... I'm glad you came anyway! Me? I've had your "All About Death..." hub open for almost two days, it's an intense read, for me... I have a death issue :D... so I've really been trying to absorb every paragraph and concept... no more excuses.... I'm going to finish it now and I don't care if my house burns down around me :D

      Thank you again!

    • ahorseback profile image

      ahorseback 3 years ago

      Sorry Cat once in a while I get this goofy thing going ! It pays almost as much a poetry ! lol, .......miss you !

    • Au fait profile image

      C E Clark 3 years ago from North Texas

      You didn't really think this poem would offend me did you? I studied sex education as part of my PSYC, and considered teaching it. Nothing about sex turns a single hair on my head. Thought this poem was funny and cute!

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
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      Cat 3 years ago from New York

      Ed, laughter is good for the soul! That other stuff might be good for the body, but it's usually bad for your head... ha ha!

      Miss me? I'm right here! lol

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      Cat 3 years ago from New York

      Au fait,

      Actually, I was on your profile page again the other day and read about ALL that you have done, I was amazed and impressed. Maybe not offend, which I hope my assumption didn't offend either, but I didn't see you as the type rushing over for a poem titled 'Why do I always have to be on top?' ... I had intentions on the title giving it that feel, just so it might be funny, but I was a little apprehensive about pushing the publish button myself; it was one of those, cross your fingers and squint your eyes kind of moments :D You're so awesome... and such an ideal model for a strong, intelligent woman (which you don't see a whole heck of a lot these days!) I'm learning, I'm learning. You're so smart it almost scares me :D

      Now... back to 'Death'

    • shanmarie profile image

      Shannon 3 years ago from Texas

      Hey sis, got time to find me on FB in a few? Or ya too busy reading all the new hubs? LOL The comments on this one are funny, but all it makes me think about is literally fighting over who got to sleep on the top and the few times I fell off from leaning over too far. haha

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      Cat 3 years ago from New York

      Yes... just give me a sec, I have to, have to, have to finish Au fait's 'All About Death' hub that I've read from the beginning about 4 times now, lol... I'll open my page in a second... my responses just might be lagging for a few, otay?

      Hey... the last time we talked about falling episodes, I ended up with serious stomach cramps! lol

    • shanmarie profile image

      Shannon 3 years ago from Texas

      Totally not a big deal, girl. Go on and enjoy your hubs and I'll catch ya another time. :)

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      Cat 3 years ago from New York

      Stop... you're making me feel like I'm shooing you away... I've already got my page open now... just gotta finish reading an article that's all. You can start your novel... I'll be there :D

    • shanmarie profile image

      Shannon 3 years ago from Texas

      No novel. Swear, it's no big deal and I don't feel shooed away! Was just going ot ask if you wanted to work on the two projects we've got going. Haha....plenty of time for that, though. No rush and I"m not just saying that. :-p

    • James-wolve profile image

      Tijani Achamlal 3 years ago from Morocco

      Dearest Cat,

      Woman on the Top.Very interesting and drooling haha I ve no problem with that haha as long as there is mutual understanding.Voted up

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      Cat 3 years ago from New York

      shan, I'm over there and I'm always up for testing my multi-tasking skills :D

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      Cat 3 years ago from New York

      James,

      Oh my goodness! You made me laugh... I'm so used to the deep, passionate side of you! It's all about the mutual understanding :D

      You're the best!

      Hugs,

      Cat

    • James-wolve profile image

      Tijani Achamlal 3 years ago from Morocco

      Cat,

      Gentlemen are gentlemen in bed. They make sure you're having a good time.They dont ask whose turn is it or who is going to be in charge.They just play it by ear hahaha

      You are the cutest :)

      Hugs,

      James

    • Romeos Quill profile image

      Romeos Quill 3 years ago from Lincolnshire, England

      Cat

      Spinach on line twenty -five lol! : )

      And I won't be in until later for your private mails, so I'll speak then.

      Yours Truly,

      R.Q.

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      Cat 3 years ago from New York

      James,

      Play it by ear huh? Is there a special sound you listen for? lol...

      Well, with a strategy like that, you shouldn't have any trouble! :D Of course I already know you're a lover not a fighter... not one for conflict.

      Hugs, gentle wolf

      Cat

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      Cat 3 years ago from New York

      R.Q.

      Well that changes everything!... lol

      Did I get it, is it all gone? Gee… thanks!

      I wonder how long I’ve been walking around like that… I’m so embarrassed :D

      Yours Truly,

      Cat

    • Romeos Quill profile image

      Romeos Quill 3 years ago from Lincolnshire, England

      Tee! Hee!!

    • ocfireflies profile image

      ocfireflies 3 years ago from North Carolina

      Cat,

      I love how you have mastered bait and switch : )! Voted Up Awesome and Funny! LOVE THIS POEM!

      " But if you’re ever feeling froggy,

      Please, by all means, hop"

      is my favorite line--and forever a classic.

      Best Always,

      Kim

    • ahorseback profile image

      ahorseback 3 years ago

      Has anyone noticed Cat is awesome at bait and switch ! Ohhhhh but she toys with us !

    • writinglover profile image

      Jennifer 3 years ago from Lost...In Video Games

      She's amazing, isn't she? LOL! :D

    • ahorseback profile image

      ahorseback 3 years ago

      Yes she is ......but then so are you !.....:-}

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      Jennifer 3 years ago from Lost...In Video Games

      Oh, thanks, Ed! *blushes* You are too!

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      Cat 3 years ago from New York

      ocfireflies,

      The bait and switch… lol! Thanks Kim, of course, it’s easy to do when your mind lives in the land of bait and switch, ha ha. Thanks again for the compliments, you’ve made my day!

      Best Always,

      Cat

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      Cat 3 years ago from New York

      Oh, but Ed, I’m not toying with you… this is how me brain works! :D

      And writinglover, Gee, shucks! I don’t get that every day! You’re amazing!

      Oh… look at you two!... This page is just full of love and warmth isn’t it! Lol

    • Man of Strength profile image

      Man of Strength 3 years ago from Orlando, Fl

      Good morning Cat,

      You were noticably absent yesterday. Glad that you're back.

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      Cat 3 years ago from New York

      Man of Strength,

      Ha ha... it's nice to know somebody noticed! Funny, I feel like I could have an anxiety attack when I'm gone for so long... and yes, I'm having a partial stroke knowing you've got one hot off the press! I will so be over there shortly!!!

      ...and I'm happy to be back! :D

      Thanks buddy!

      Hugs,

      Cat

    • vandynegl profile image

      vandynegl 3 years ago from Ohio Valley

      Oh boy! Nice one! My mind is in the gutter and I was cracking up! It's giving me some ideas for a hub!

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      Cat 3 years ago from New York

      vandynegl,

      Ha ha! I'm so glad to hear your mind was in the gutter... that's where I wanted it to be... just had to clean it up at the end so I wouldn't get in trouble :D lol! Oooh... ideas? I'd like to see the results :D

    • ahorseback profile image

      ahorseback 3 years ago

      But then - what wrong with her on top ? I'm confused - Help ?

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      Cat 3 years ago from New York

      Ed... ha ha ha... are we still talking about bunk beds? 'Cause I have two different answers to that question... lol!

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      ahorseback 3 years ago

      Lets hear them girl ! lol

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
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      Cat 3 years ago from New York

      Ed... well, the bunk bed thing... I know from my own experience up at camp, that thing was about 6 inches from the ceiling and I used to always wake up and smash my face into it!... also made for sneaking in and out awfully tricky! The other... if I talk about here, my hub will be removed... lol

    • ahorseback profile image

      ahorseback 3 years ago

      Ahh we love you Cat ! You are as cool as a kitty !

    • profile image

      dreamseeker2 3 years ago

      lol! You had me going there...what most might assume. ; ) Great poem. Funny, yet awesome! Love the spin at the end...bunkbeds indeed! What a hoot!

    • W1totalk profile image

      W1totalk 3 years ago

      Good funny poem. Did not expect the bunking. lol

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      Cat 3 years ago from New York

      dreamseeker2,

      Ha ha... I'm glad you found the humor in it; though I did have other inspirations... but I like to keep it clean here at HP (and from what I hear, they appreciate that... lol)

      Thanks a lot!

      Cat

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      Cat 3 years ago from New York

      W1totalk,

      Did ya like that did'ya? lol... I hope so, 'cause if you ain't scared of me yet, you never will be :D

      Thanks for stopping!

      Cat

    • B. A. Williams profile image

      B. A. Williams 3 years ago from USA

      Very clever title and a real surprise ending. Made me laugh, and its well written!

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      Cat 3 years ago from New York

      B.A. Williams,

      Thank you! I kind of wanted to play around, but wondered how many people would be scared away by the title... lol. I'm glad it made you laugh!

      Thanks so much for the visit and the compliment! I will travel over your way soon.

      Cat

    • cleaner3 profile image

      cleaner3 3 years ago from Pueblo, Colorado

      Well Kitty Cat.. after scrolling through all the comments... I finally got to you .. love this poem , I don't have to say why I picked this one... LOL

      If I could spend... one night with you ..

      oh yes on top

      is where I would be ...

      for on top is where

      into your eyes I can see

      the inner beauty of your soul

      My Kitty Cat .. this you know..

      together we would make such heat

      but you on top... is such a treat

      Michael

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      Cat 3 years ago from New York

      cleaner3,

      Wow... thank you! It's a pleasure to finally meet you and what an entrance you've made! I must say, I love the little poem you wrote and it's all for me? :D ... You could turn that into a hub right there... just make sure to tell the world how wonderful you think I am... ha ha. Seriously, thank you... that was absolutely adorable; I love it. I will most definitely be frolicking over your way Michael.

      Have a wonderful Sunday, my new sweet friend!

      Cat

    • cleaner3 profile image

      cleaner3 3 years ago from Pueblo, Colorado

      Sooo... my Kitty Cat, I have made you notice . you of the beautiful heart, you the sweetest flower who loves the rain, but fears the thunder... you with the eyes that can hypnotize any man to do her bidding. Yes my sweet you have me at your mercy, whisper to me the words I need and I will melt,,like a candle burning only for you.

      Michael

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
      Author

      Cat 3 years ago from New York

      Michael,

      You're such a romantic, aren't you? :D ... Ah, if only people in the real world could see through your eyes. You have quite the beautiful heart yourself! I'm guessing you have many people who simply adore you and appreciate your sweet words. I know I do... thank you dear!

      Cat

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