Without You I Am Free - Letting Go of Addiction - Poem
I make no secrets that my husband is an addict in recovery. The following poem is a collaboration of both our efforts.
Without You I Am Free
Do you remember when I threw you away, the day I put you aside and left you? You were destructive whenever I let you rule my life. I had to get to a place where I could leave you alone.
I will admit. It took a long time to get over you. It took even longer to piece my life back together and make it have meaning again without you in it. The most difficult thing was feeling whole again after my life with you.
When I have you in my life, I do not respect myself or others. I do not want my friends. I do not care about anything except having you all to myself. You make me believe you are all that matters.
No one I know understood my obsession for you. They certainly did not understand when I let you take everything that meant anything to me. People just did not realize how mesmerizing you could be or the hold you yielded over me. My family and friends were filled with extreme hatred for you. They could see you destroying me. I could not.
Since I am now out from under your spell, I do not want to go back to that life of emptiness filled only with lies and self-loathing. Now I am free.
My addiction, my once constant companion, you are no longer welcome in my life. I am telling you today I do not need you. I want you because I remember how wonderful you made me feel in your clutches. But I do not need you. Not today. Not anymore. Not ever again.
Other addiction related hubs by lcbenefield
- Open Letter to Those Who Love an Addict
This open letter is to anyone living with someone who is using and abusing drugs or alcohol. I know and understand what you are going through. I hope my words offer some hope and encouragement for you.
- Crying to God
This is a poem from my heart to God. I am crying to God not knowing how to deal with my husband's addiction.
- Living with an addict
A candid story of personal struggle living with my husband and his pain pill addiction.