ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Wounded

Updated on June 13, 2011
Source


so easily wounded I

walk about marked

a bulls eye painted on my ego


so eager and open I

sharpen your lead

so you might make your point


so supportive I

will pilaster your desires

and plaster over mine


so completely receptive I

absorb your pain

discarded begin to rot


I must surely die bled out

from a thousand pricks of pain

no one to blame but I



Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • Tony DeLorger profile image

      Tony DeLorger 5 years ago from Adelaide, South Australia

      Love it RB, Succinct and to the heart of it. How we all bleed.

    • Randy Behavior profile image
      Author

      Randy Behavior 5 years ago from Near the Ocean

      I think we were simultaneously commenting on each other's hubs, hee hee.

    • mckbirdbks profile image

      mckbirdbks 5 years ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Ego's so flail and yet so bold. Great writing.

    • Tony DeLorger profile image

      Tony DeLorger 5 years ago from Adelaide, South Australia

      Got to love it, RB

    • attemptedhumour profile image

      attemptedhumour 5 years ago from Australia

      Optimism, being eternally out-boxing by self-doubt.

    • Hear Me profile image

      Hear Me 5 years ago from Somewhere in Florida

      Great writing! It really hits home!

    • Mentalist acer profile image

      Mentalist acer 5 years ago from A Voice in your Mind!

      A thousand poisoned laced promises lent and forgotten....awesome and heart pulling Randy.;)

    • Randy Behavior profile image
      Author

      Randy Behavior 5 years ago from Near the Ocean

      Hi mckbird! Yea a hard animal to tame, the ego.

      That puts a funny visual in my head AH

      Greetings Hear Me!

      Great comment MA

    • mckbirdbks profile image

      mckbirdbks 5 years ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Good morning RB. I have been laughing at myself at the horrible beating I am allowing my ego to take. So, yes hard to tame.

    • Cardisa profile image

      Carolee Samuda 5 years ago from Jamaica

      That is how vulnerable when we get when we love completely.

    • Nikkij504gurl profile image

      Nikkij504gurl 5 years ago from Louisiana

      No one to blame but yourself. Too many try to blame others for their mistakes and their actions. I really like this, how you changed it up at the end from the "I" in the beginning to the "I" at the end in the last stanza. I love this part "so eager and open I

      sharpen your lead

      so you might make your point" and you absord his pain, the things we do for love, yet still it is our own faults to blame. we cant help how we feel.

      good work, good poem.

    • Randy Behavior profile image
      Author

      Randy Behavior 5 years ago from Near the Ocean

      Morning McB! The boastful self important part of ego is pretty easy to chuck out, but that other part that gets its feelings hurt is so much harder to detach from.

      Hi cardisa. And one loves the world? Trouble.

      Hi Nikki. I do believe we have to take credit for our own feelings. No one can make us feel anything. It is our choice to feel. I wish I could "unfeel" sometimes though.

      Thanks for noticing the construction of this, as I did put thought into it.

    • profile image

      Claudia Schönfeld 5 years ago

      neatly penned randy and a good step if we realize what we do and what we shouldn't do...i don't have the "helper syndrome" myself but someone very close to me and it's difficult for both..good write

    • Randy Behavior profile image
      Author

      Randy Behavior 5 years ago from Near the Ocean

      The "helper syndrome" is that what I have? I guess I do.

    • Nikkij504gurl profile image

      Nikkij504gurl 5 years ago from Louisiana

      yea me too. the best we can do there is hide our feelings or try to deny them, but that never ends well. you should always be true to yourself and to others.

    • profile image

      Anna :o] 5 years ago

      Superb.

      Anna :o]

    • Randy Behavior profile image
      Author

      Randy Behavior 5 years ago from Near the Ocean

      Thanks Anna.... like your grin.

    • bbnix profile image

      bbnix 5 years ago from Southern California

      But then, some of us are monster's assembled of overly-oscillating patchworks of emotions and beautifully written notions of love, and hopefully, like Nikki and you Randy, blaming no one but themselves...

      You do absorb much of my pain, Randy, with your kindness and beautiful writing. Thank you so much for the incredible, multi-faceted, and caring, majesty of a person that you are...

    • Randy Behavior profile image
      Author

      Randy Behavior 5 years ago from Near the Ocean

      Hi BB. What a lovely comment. Thank you.

    • Twilight Lawns profile image

      Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K.

      Vulnerability always asks for that extra dagger thrust; hoping that it won't hurt so much this time.

    • Randy Behavior profile image
      Author

      Randy Behavior 5 years ago from Near the Ocean

      Whooooo, I ask for it? Gonna have to have a good hard look at that idea.

    • profile image

      Doug Turner Jr. 5 years ago

      This one stings. The "so eager and open I sharpen your lead" line has me thinking that Ian might be on to something with his comment.

      Had to look up "pilaster". Maybe I'm rusty. Anyway, good to be back; I'll return soon.

    • Randy Behavior profile image
      Author

      Randy Behavior 5 years ago from Near the Ocean

      Delighted I made you look up a word for a change Doug :)

    • profile image

      Pat Hatt 5 years ago

      Nicely done, yeah most people always look for a scape goat, something or someone to blame because "oh it can't be my fault"

      Great change taking the thousand little jabs and no one to blame but I.

    • profile image

      brian 5 years ago

      powerful write..the first two stanzas opening with a bang and the rest filling in the feeling further...putting the bulls eye on ourselves and sharpening the pencils for another to prick us...yikes...all too real...

    • profile image

      jtw 5 years ago

      came here from #oneshotwednesday, wasn't sure what to expect but very glad i did! i really like this one, your style is after my own heart. i will check out some more of your work!

      :)

    • profile image

      anthony desmond 5 years ago

      Great poem. pure and holds truth. love the end!

    • profile image

      Laura, NH, USA 5 years ago

      a beautiful poem...it is hard to be open...yet to be closed, I believe would be even more painful...somehow we must find the balance of loving others and loving ourselves enough to say no.

    • profile image

      lori 5 years ago

      I so enjoy your poems. I could feel the frustration and pain as I read.

      "bled out from a thousand pricks of pain" great line :)

    • profile image

      Kim Nelson 5 years ago

      I feel the pain and angst that comes with a relationship out of balance. You perfectly painted the picture.

    • Randy Behavior profile image
      Author

      Randy Behavior 5 years ago from Near the Ocean

      Hi Pat, at some point in life we all have to realize no one can "make" us feel anything. Thanks for commenting.

      Thanks Brian. I'm glad you approve.

      Greetings JTW. I will be checking yours out soon as well. Happy One Shot!

    • Randy Behavior profile image
      Author

      Randy Behavior 5 years ago from Near the Ocean

      Hi Anthony. Thanks for the read. I'm glad you liked the end.

      I'm sorry Laura what's this word "no"? Is it english or... ;)

      Thanks for visiting me again Lori. I'll make my rounds later tonight.

      @Kim "Relationship out of balance," and it took me a whole poem to say that, lol!

    • profile image

      Belinda 5 years ago

      Wonderful! And oh, to be human and able to empathize and feel pain. A gift/curse.

    • Randy Behavior profile image
      Author

      Randy Behavior 5 years ago from Near the Ocean

      Interesting comment Belinda. And so true, or why be born eh?

    • profile image

      Randall Weiss 5 years ago

      I like the emotional progression you've created.

    • Randy Behavior profile image
      Author

      Randy Behavior 5 years ago from Near the Ocean

      Thank you Randall :)

    • profile image

      Gay  5 years ago

      Unique voice in this. Love the three line stanzas as a love song and love hurt song. Touches the heart of all women. Well done.

    • profile image

      ayala 5 years ago

      Powerful and great.

    • Randy Behavior profile image
      Author

      Randy Behavior 5 years ago from Near the Ocean

      Thanks for coming by Gay.

      Thank you Ayala.

    • profile image

      Mama Zen 5 years ago

      I think that I have that same bulls eye on my ego!

    • Randy Behavior profile image
      Author

      Randy Behavior 5 years ago from Near the Ocean

      Damn Mama Zen... maybe we should try turpentine?

    • profile image

      Roxy 5 years ago

      putting others before yourself can be so painful....even in little ways. Love the expression.

    • profile image

      C Rose 5 years ago

      Nice write - especially enjoyed the word play of the second stanza. ~ Rose

    • profile image

      Life in a Poem 5 years ago

      its a great poem,i wrote this poem on that subject, i called it, Out of Line

    • Randy Behavior profile image
      Author

      Randy Behavior 5 years ago from Near the Ocean

      Thanks for coming by to comment Roxy.

      Hi Rose! That seems to be the favorite :)

      Life I will have to check that out!

    • saddlerider1 profile image

      saddlerider1 5 years ago

      This is familiar territory for me.

      "so completely receptive I

      absorb your pain

      discarded begin to rot"

      Like a wet towel I felt wrung out from the pain I endured in LOVING..it was painful.. bravo, this pricked my heart.

    • Randy Behavior profile image
      Author

      Randy Behavior 5 years ago from Near the Ocean

      Oh Saddle I'm sorry. I don't really want anyone to relate to this. Sometimes we give, we love, give some more and at the end of the day have nothing but empty coffers to show for it. Hugs to you.

    • profile image

      Ponti 5 years ago

      This is really beautiful, and meaningful. Even the way you have constructed the words on the white of your blog adds to the overall feeling. Your words hit home to me.

    • Randy Behavior profile image
      Author

      Randy Behavior 5 years ago from Near the Ocean

      Thank you for the lovely comment Ponti.

    • profile image

      ExoticHippieQueen 5 years ago

      Brief and to the point, get it? Lol. Awesome concepts set to words! Up and awesome!

    • Randy Behavior profile image
      Author

      Randy Behavior 5 years ago from Near the Ocean

      Thanks EHQ. Yep you are quite the punster :P

    • profile image

      ExoticHippieQueen 5 years ago

      Bahahahahaha...............

    Click to Rate This Article