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Writing for a purpose
Writing for a purpose
I started writing exactly one year ago as a result of my father's tragic death in April 2009 which was indicated as a suicide by the coroners office and on his death certificate. He was killed by a speeding train at the local train station. This tragedy affected me in many ways. My dad meant the world to me and he was someone I could go to anytime I needed for just about anything. He was always very supportive of my family and myself and he spent many Sunday afternoons with us and spent most of the time bonding with Matthew. He was very influential and very caring and he always treated Matty with love and respect and always gave him the time he deserved to open up and share his feelings. My dad knew how to reach our son and I was always so appreciative of that.
As I look back on my dad's life I am very proud of him as he accomplished many great things and he was very devoted to mom, my sisters and I. A part of me also feels sad because my dad had a tough life but he would never say so. Growing up he was the second oldest in his family of seven children and he had to take on responsibility at a young age. When he turned 17 he left school and enlisted in the navy.
After spending 2 years in the navy he left to pursue a career as an ironworker which made him grow up real fast at the tender age of 19 and gave him a sense of pride and made him a man with a real purpose. He loved the exhilaration of working on the high iron and seeing the view from far up and he helped build many great buildings and bridges that line the city skyline. He worked in an unforgiving business though which had it's share of dangers which claimed the lives of some of his ironworker friends and injured severely members of his family including not only himself but also his father and his brother.
In the back of my mind I was thinking of writing at some point in my life but I didn't feel inspired the times I tried to write in earlier days so I kind of just let it take a back seat because I really didn't know where to begin. The first time I seriously thought I should write about my experiences was after reading a sad story of Terrence Harper who started writing a blog as his lasting tribute to his family and as a diary of his experiences knowing he had a terminal illness with a grim prognosis and a life expectancy of less than 5 years. He started writing when he first learned his diagnosis and he wrote with his wife and 2 children in mind. The name of his blog was Thumping my melon and he started writing in 2007 when he first learned of his illness. He was very brave and courageous which I found out after the fact because he had already passed away on June 2, 2009 at the age of 45 when I learned of his blog. He lived for only 3 years from the time he found out the grim news and he devoted his time to his family and chronicling his experiences to leave for his wife and children. I cried when I read his story and that courage and dedication he found in his life and wrote about was the seed that would get me started in my own writing.
There were 2 things going on in my mind when I started kicking around the idea to write and that was losing my father and dealing with my son's autism which has taken its toll on us. If you have read any of my writings you will see that my primary focus is on writing about my son and my love and respect for him in dealing with his autism with such courage. He has taught me so many things in his life and I am so proud of him and wish to do all I can to encourage him and make him feel accepted.
I find sometimes when I write that the words seem to flow and I write with passion and from my heart. I feel I can say things in my writing that I would have difficulty with sharing with others in conversation. Writing helps heal the pain I feel and gives me insight into my feelings and what is going on in my life and it gives me a way to express myself and find an outlet to write about what it is like growing up and dealing with autism. My son was diagnosed at the age of 2 1/2 and it has been a journey ever since. We have our good days and there are days that are extremely difficult. We are there every step of the way for our son and will do all we can to make his life better.
I also write about life experiences, childhood, friendships, family life, hopes, dreams, difficult times and my mom who I miss very much. My writing is personal and it is very helpful to me. I don't feel I will get monetary gain from my writing because I don't feel many people are interested in what I have to say and I don't have a following. I realize though that I am not writing to become popular or rich. I write because I am sad and I want to help bring a sense of normalcy back to my life and I write because I love my son and my dad and I feel inspired. I wish to leave my writings for my wife and son when it is my time to leave this place. I hope I have many years left to write about my son going to college, taking on the challenges of life which he faces every day, embarking on a career, meeting a girl and finding his place in the world. That is what I wish to write about because that is what I live and that is what means everything to me.
Since I started writing I have tapped into a creative side I thought I never had and I am starting to take advantage of the social media and would love to develop a website and try to help someone who is going through what we as a family have gone through. I believe many people are dealing with difficulties and they also need someone to show them the way. We all should try to help one another and I am first trying my best to help my son and find a way to live through the pain we must experience in life.
Edward D. Iannielli III