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Yes folks, it's new, improved sleaze!

Updated on December 2, 2010
A is for Apple, S is for Sleaze
A is for Apple, S is for Sleaze | Source

New sleaze is so much better than old  sleaze. This type of sleaze you can take anywhere. It adds a certain unforgettable tastes to every moment. It's for life’s little adventures in mediocrity and pirouettes through pointlessness.

New sleaze is a wonder around the everyday ornaments of existence. You can add it to any environment, and watch it multiply. It's a healthy alternative to sanity and other cumbersome impediments. With new sleaze, you can be someone else entirely.

New sleaze has many uses. It can be added to relationships to improve levels of trust. It can be simply attached to any human activity and make it look nice. It can be used as decor, or as the sole reason for mainstream media.

There’s no need to clean up with new sleaze. Never needs washing, ironing or folding, and can be worn anywhere. It blends in brilliantly in executive environments, moral cattle yards, and other basic social functions.

In areas of political policy, it's an essential ingredient for life. The healthy dynamics of government simply couldn't exist without it. Many rationales are based entirely upon it.

Sleaze is what makes crime so easy to live with. New sleaze is much better. With new sleaze, you can have an entire culture based entirely on crime with no extra effort. New sleaze makes getting gunned down for five dollars worth of garbage so much more exciting and fun.

The new sleaze can be used in education, health care, housing, finance and even defence contracts. With a single application of new sleaze, you can solve anything, permanently.

For personal use, new sleaze is a milestone in human sensitivities. The most unpretentious person can completely dissolve their personality can be reborn as a socially acceptable cliché, without requiring major surgery.

New sleaze can be added to marriages, parenthood, and business relationships without fuss. It adds piquancy to buying groceries, and a healthy ambivalence to holding a conversation.

New sleaze has done wonders for religion. All those tired old responsibilities and obligations simply wash away with one application of new sleaze. If you add a choir, or some other form of musical accompaniment, you can even dance to it.

Now the really exciting news – New sleaze can completely resolve personality disorders. If you have a personality, you're probably looking for something different, and new sleaze can provide a whole range of hyperactive personalities, none of which have anything to do with who you are. You rolled personality can revel in the thrills of nonexistence, while your new personalities flutter around like butterflies in the great faecal shopping mall of life.

Isn't that just too precious? Try new sleaze and see for yourself.

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    • Hello, hello, profile image

      Hello, hello, 

      8 years ago from London, UK

      Amusing but true and brilliantly written hub.

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