"You Know You're Australian When..." Quotes
A collection of "You know you're Australian when" quotes and status updates. Written by an Aussie.
You Know You're Australian When:
- You have a spider as big as a dinner plate living in your lounge room and you're not really worried, because it's only a Huntsman.
- You go to the servo for your petrol.
- You go to the Bottle-O for your grog.
- Your don't go to a barbie without your beer stubby and your esky.
- You love your barbie (And it's not a doll).
- You went outside for less than 5 seconds and you are covered in mosquito bites.
- You're strongly encouraged to slip, slop slap.
- When "Kiss me Katut".
- When if it's not on, it's NOT ON!
- When you don't be a tosser.
- When ants have moved into your kitchen and they are laying eggs in your kitchen sponge and your toasted sandwich maker.
- When you find special beaches for dogs.
- When you are not allowed to keep a Kangaroo for a pet but you are allowed to eat them.
- When you dial before you dig.
- When you each chips - Not fries or crisps.
- When you have a thong tan (On your feet) all year through.
- You can run, dance, could even build a house wearing thongs.
- When you need to get a pen license before you can stop using your pencil at school.
- When you check for Red-Back's before sitting on the dunny.
- When you have Blue Tongues living in your yard, and you think they're friendly.
- When saying "Far out!" doesn't mean you're a hippie.
- When what you're saying is fair dinkum.
- When everyone calls you their mate.
- When half the time walking out in your yard is like walking into an oven, and the rest of the time it's like jumping in the river.
- When you say "Straya mate!" when referring to where you're from.
- When there aren't many full words in your sentences.
- When you understand that it's acceptable to call Tom - Tommo, but you wouldn't call Sarah - Saraho.
- When they build the great wall of China to keep the rabbits out.
- When you always have tan lines. Even in winter.
- When you drive though "Macca's".
- When you know "Crikey!" can mean something's either good or bad.
- When something's "Bloody" doesn't mean there is blood.
- When something's a "Ripper!" you know it doesn't mean it's actually ripped.
- When your builder is a "Brickie" and your truck driver is a "Truckie", but your Accountant is still your Accountant.
- When having a "Chin wag" doesn't mean wiggling your chin.
- When you know all the words to the "Wiggles" songs.
- When you write 'Colour' not color.
- When your mother is mum - not mom.
- When someone might look buff, but it doesn't mean you want to see them in the buff!
- When your water usage costs $20 a quarter but your water bill is $600 because of taxes.
- When your 3 year old has an ipod touch and an ipad and will have a iphone soon.
- When you have a mobile phone - not a cell phone.
- When you don't play football with a round ball.
- When you play Soccer you use a round ball, but you prefer your footy.
- When you'll visit a 'Big Banana' or a 'Big Prawn'.
- When you rarely see money because you operate with plastic.
- When your shopping is rounded into 0.01c but the lowest coin is 0.05 cents.
- When you wash your money the notes are still perfectly fine.
- When it's dark by 5pm in winter.
- When there's a heatwave and a flood in the same week.
- When you get mixed up with the time during the year due to "Daylight Savings".
- When it's fine to call someone "Mate!" when you don't know their name.
- When tomato sauce goes on any food toasted or fried.
- When you could fry an egg on the roof of your car one minute, and the next minute you are running for shelter from the hail.
- When you can pick the difference between a Great White and a Dolphin in the surf.
- When you once owned a Commodore.
- When you still don't know all the words to the national anthem.
- When "Aussie Aussie Aussie Oi Oi Oi"
- When mash potato and pumpkin are perfectly acceptable on toast, for breakfast.
- When you put honey and sugar in your porridge.
- When you say "Oh struth!"
- When you've been wearing a school uniform since pre-school.
- When you know that Koala's aren't that easy to cuddle.
- When you call your female friends "Chickies".
- When you call your friend Tom "Tommo!" and Jim "Jimbo", but you'd never call Sarah "Saraho".
- When you know that Kangaroo's can do better Karate than any human.
- When you say "Hoo Roo!" when you're leaving.
- When it's against the law to have a 'shot' after midnight.
- When your cigarette packet has photo's of rotting flesh.
- When you're stung by a 'Blue Bottle' in the surf.
- When you have a designer hand bag but your jeans cost $6 at Kmart, and no one cares.
- When you have to stop at 16 sets of traffic lights to drive 5kms.
- When you have to keep a log book of your driving practice before you can sit for your Drivers License.
- When you wake up in the morning and there's a new Prime Minister and there has been no vote.
- When the same Prime Minister who was booted out, without a public vote, is the new Prime Minister again, still without a vote.
- When you get paid $8000 by the Government for having a baby.
- When your baby wears a nappy. And uses a dummy.
- When possums annoy you at night.
- When you really do have a home amongst the Gum trees.
- When your have a six figure debt because you decided to get a Degree.
- When you wear a green and gold wig and face paint to sporting events.
- When you go shopping wearing swim wear.
- When you could drive for 10 hours straight and still only be half way to your holiday destination.
- When it costs less to fly overseas than fly to the other side of the country.
- When pretty girls in bikini's top up your parking meter when you're out shopping.
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