How to Handle Your Love Life Like a Business - A Book Review
Recently, a local dating coach recommended a book to me entitled "You Lost Him at Hello".
I think in order to understand the purpose and need of this book, you must first answer the question you're undoubtedly thinking, which is: "why were you talking to a dating coach?"
Dating/relationship coaches are become all the more common these days. You would think that with all the dating sites, night clubs and romantic comedies in the world today that we would be more connected than ever. But the sad truth, it seems, is that we are more disconnected than ever. According to the census in 2011, 44.1% of Americans 18 and over were still unmarried or single.
So, what gives?
It seems that the problem is not a lack of opportunities to get together, but in fact a lack of understanding of the principles of appropriate social conduct.
It is my personal belief that technology such as the internet and television are actually hinderances rather than helpful to our social lives. I think romantic comedies actually warp our views of relationships by teaching us that love is a simple matter of one person "loving" you enough to forego every other rational desire of theirs, or convincing young people that love is supposed to be perfect and problem free.
So, on the one hand we have people believing in the idea that "romantic love" is the solution to their loneliness problems and on the other hand we have those same people growing more and more isolated by their anti-social technology driven behavior. So, books like the one in this article seek to help a growing number of people who have forgotten or lack the art of romance.
There are a lot more dating books coming out these days including "He's Just Not that Into You", "Act like a Lady, Think Like a Man" and "The Art of Seduction".
But "You Lost Him at Hello" sets itself apart.
First of all, it is written almost like a sales manual. Referring to the woman as "the product" that she has to "sell"...
Woah woah woah! you're probably thinking, Back up! She's selling women?
Before you call the cops, keep reading.
This book is taken from a salesperson perspective. It talks about certain sales principles such as:
- Prospecting - searching for potential "buyers"
- SEE factors - Smile, Eye Contant, Enthusiasm
- Recognizing buying signs
- and the KISS principle - Keep It Short and Simple
There are other sales techniques such as:
- Indifference (not seeming too desperate or needy),
- filling the funnel (keeping a constant flow of "prospects" at hand)
- and ending at the height of impulse (ending a conversation or encounter before it gets cold, dry or boring).
This principles are neither too complicated or new aged. They are actually quite simple and some may say "old fashioned". They are a little counter-intuitive to the modern way of thinking.
- Simplicity: The author spells out specific steps to accomplishing what she promises (which is to be able to get any man you are interested in). The only thing that makes her book less than simple is a person's personal unwillingness to do the things she suggests. She is not vague or abstract in her recommendations.
- Old fashioned: Even the most traditional mother would agree with the concepts recommended in this book. She does not tell you to go around seducing men into sleeping with you. She actually suggests you not sleep with them right away, especially if you are interested in a long term commitment from them.
- Counter-intuitive: This book is also a little counter-intuitive to modern views on how to attract men. It seems like these days women are under the impression that men are "too stupid to handle subtly". This is an insult to the intelligence of men. Sometimes they need encouragement and/or direction, but if they are looking away when you're trying to have eyeball sex with them or they are not otherwise responding to your advances, it is not because something is wrong with them, you have to realize that you are doing something wrong and change your game plan and Jess McCann lays out the tools for you in this inexpensive book!
Her main focus in this book seems to be to get the message across to women that they should not "seem desperate". She likens desperate, needy and clingy women to the "telemarketers of dating" or something like that.
My personal opinion is that it is a great book. Especially speaking as someone who did sales for a period of time, I was very impressed and a lot of things really clicked to me. I do, however, think that the ideas of this book may be lost on non-sales oriented men and women.
Have you read this book? What were your thoughts?
This book is available on Amazon.com for less than $15 and it is also available for bidding on eBay. Read it with a compassionate heart and watch it work magic in your business, relationship and life! Then, join the conversation in the comment box below!