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You Need To Tell Him!

Updated on March 10, 2012

By: Wayne Brown

Your boyfriend bought a brand new car with shiny chrome wheels

He said he got it for a bargain price, why it was really just a steal

He used the money that was saved for your engagement ring

He took the money, bought the car, without asking you a thing

Did it all while you sweated and worked out down at the gym

He really, really sucks; you need to tell him

 

 

Your big wedding anniversary celebration is finally here today

You will celebrate the happy moment, renew the vows they say

But you little hubby really messed up and forgot about the time

He and some of the boys are at the bar getting drunk on wine

Now your day is practically spoiled; your temper starts to sim

He really, really sucks; you need to tell him

 

 

The motorcycle cop has you pulled over on the roadside

You are running late and operating in full-speed overdrive

You tried to flirt and flick your eyes and get his heart a fluttering

But he’s still writing the ticket even though you got him stuttering

He’s tellin’ you how you have endangered both life and limb

He really, really sucks; you need to tell him

 

 

The checkout clerk is slow as syrup on a cold winter morning

The line is long, getting longer and yet it is still forming

You had hoped to just run into the store and get right back out

Now at the rate this line is moving, you just want to shout

He’s smilin’, talkin’ now to a cute little tart so young, so trim

He really, really sucks; you need to tell him

 

 

The IRS Agent has notified you something ain’t right with your tax

You checked the math, filed on time, but you were still far too lax

He’s going over it by line and adding up the owed dollar sum

He’s now calculating the penalty; he is gonna stick up your bum

Sitting behind his big desk, suit and tie, all proper and prim

He really, really sucks; you need to tell him.

 

 

The Politician wants your vote, he’s made it quite clear

He’s willing to promise you anything, money, sex, free beer

Up there on the podium, he rants and raves and paws

He wants to fix the government with all of his new laws

But you’re afraid of his big lies; not one tax will he stem

He really, really sucks; you need to tell him

 

 

The Television Evangelist is praying and he needs your money now

There’s a crops of sinners out there; some fields he needs to plow

If you will sit down right now and just write out one big check

You’ll receive a heaven bound promise, no hell will you expect

But you don’t trust his eyes as you watch him on the film

He really, really sucks; you need to tell him

 

 

The Doctor pulls on a rubber glove and adds the lube so sleek

He motions for you to bend over and kindly spread your cheek

You know it just a routine exam, one you’ve had time and again

But there’s nothing routine about the way he sticks his finger in

He seems to like to use that finger, he thinks it quite a gem

He really, really sucks; you need to tell him

 

(Copyright) WBrown2010

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    • Wayne Brown profile image
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      Wayne Brown 6 years ago from Texas

      @Maggie-May...Glad you liked it. This one has not been read by many so it is nice to see some traffic. Stop in agains soon! WB

    • Maggie-May profile image

      Nadine M AuCoin 6 years ago from the Island of Cape Breton to the Eastern Shores near Halifax, NS

      LOL,...this is great!!!

      MM

    • Wayne Brown profile image
      Author

      Wayne Brown 6 years ago from Texas

      @Truckstop Sally...There's nothing funnier than the truth as evidenced by this poem! Wooo, my wife will whip me if I repeat that! LOL! WB

      @Shelvajay....THANNNNNK-YOUUUUU!!!!! LOL! WB

    • Shelvajay profile image

      Shelvajay 6 years ago from If You Know Me Personally, You Know Where I Am...

      This is Hee-Lar-EEEE-OUS!!!!!

    • Truckstop Sally profile image

      Truckstop Sally 6 years ago

      Thanks for a fun but true hub. I can only remember the punch line, and I don't mean to offend anyone from OK . . . but there is a joke about Texas not sliding off into the Gulf that ends with -- and that is how you know Oklahoma sucks.

    • Wayne Brown profile image
      Author

      Wayne Brown 6 years ago from Texas

      @Just Ask Susan...Good to see you and glad you stopped by for a poem. I've been told that I have some good stuff here so enjoy your read and come back again soon! WB

    • Just Ask Susan profile image

      Susan Zutautas 6 years ago from Ontario, Canada

      Liked your poem now I am off to read more of your hubs :)

    • Jaggedfrost profile image

      Jaggedfrost 6 years ago

      My pleasure. I try not to forget those who first helped me even if my list of people to keep track of is getting a tad long.

    • Wayne Brown profile image
      Author

      Wayne Brown 6 years ago from Texas

      @JaggedFrost...yes, there are many scumbags in the male world and I thought that sharing a few would help it to become a better place! LOL! Thanks for the read and the good words! WB

    • Jaggedfrost profile image

      Jaggedfrost 6 years ago

      lol you just had to bring up the worst scum of the male world and flog them. Too bad there isn't a defense for them. It was fun though.

    • Wayne Brown profile image
      Author

      Wayne Brown 6 years ago from Texas

      @SilverGenes...that last verse was really classy, huh? LOL! Celebrate your femininity! WB

    • profile image

      SilverGenes 6 years ago

      You never fail to bring it home in the end (as you did this time) which reminds me just how glad I am that I'm female LOL.

    • Wayne Brown profile image
      Author

      Wayne Brown 7 years ago from Texas

      Thanks, dugger62...this one was fun to write! WB

    • dugger62 profile image

      Deborah Dugger 7 years ago from Colorado

      very nice-but true-lol. Great hub.

    • Wayne Brown profile image
      Author

      Wayne Brown 7 years ago from Texas

      Would that be..."L - O - L- A"...Lola as they song goes. Seem like I remember it going something about "look like a woman but walked like a man"...I'd say that sucks!

    • profile image

      ralwus 7 years ago

      I think you missed one, her name is Lola. She is really good at sucking.

    • Wayne Brown profile image
      Author

      Wayne Brown 7 years ago from Texas

      Thanks, Sharon...I hope it made you giggle!

    • SwiftlyClean profile image

      SwiftlyClean 7 years ago from Texas

      Wayne Brown yes it sucks somtimes, but sometimes it is good to laugh out loud well everytime.

      Peace!

      Sharon Smith

    • Wayne Brown profile image
      Author

      Wayne Brown 7 years ago from Texas

      Thank you, Laura. Next time, I will have to rhyme one about something on the good side of the equation...I don't want to fire up your old habits!

    • lalesu profile image

      lalesu 7 years ago from south of the Mason-Dixon

      Oh, no, no, no, no! This one must keep her mouth closed, (or at least, stay out of earshot.) "You suck" is always followed by far too many other things...poor things, but I do like your poem, it does NOT suck, sir.

    • Wayne Brown profile image
      Author

      Wayne Brown 7 years ago from Texas

      Aw Poppy, you know everything builds to a crescendo! Thanks!

    • breakfastpop profile image

      breakfastpop 7 years ago

      That last stanza really, really sucks..Ouch! I must say you are multi-talented, that's for sure.