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You Purr Purfectly

Updated on November 6, 2011

If Life Could Be So Easy

I want one job and that is to be my cat and purr my day away

Up on a desk or a chair I will go and relax as I look down below

I sometimes do a 7th inning stretch then I turn my body around and do the hokey pokey then I go back to sleep

Listening to every sound being amused and just too tired to lift my head up

I have a tough job and sometimes I have to clean myself from head to toe

You try it sometime and you let me know

It isn't easy I have to make sure I eat or then I will have to get up and disturb my sleep

Sometimes I stretch my paws out and do my Superman impersonation

I do it well If I say so myself

Then ofcourse their is that itch

That makes my body twitch and shake

Only to make Chuck Berry happy

The day turns into night before my eyes get adjusted to the light

I have to hold off on the water or I wlll be embarressed with a little accident

We are too old for diapers and to young for depends

I hear you come into the house and you call my name

Like I am suppose to be as dumb as a dog and come running

Fat chance since I notice I am getting a little wide in the middle and the best I can do is roll over

Well that about covers it unless you have a blanket to tuck me in

I didn't think so that is why I put my butt on your pillow when you are out all day

I hear all the name calling and I won't let it bother me

Lines like... Are you going to sleep all day while I work ?

You betcha they don't call us lazy for nothing

I would talk more but I have a few cat naps I missed

Because what else I was setting the record straight

Cats can catch a fly you don't see

A mouse that runs along the floor

But you don't hear us bragging that we caught another one

Are average is 888 it is really a 999 but we had to leave some room for improvement

I would like to leave you with a list of demands

Next time you go to sit down look before you jump in your seat

A few new cat toys would be nice

Try vacuming more and taking off your shoes when you come into the house

I am so tired of cleaning my paws when I walk after you

Clean the litter box more often since your sense of smell stinks

I have to get back to business at hand

I am off to Kitty Kitty Land

Where cat owners fix the t.v. before the fights

Break down and call the cable company

For you don't know what you are doing silly

Here is some cat advice

Keep your paws out of the burning sand

Don't forget that can of tuna you promised me

Or I will make walk on your counter tops and hide in your closet

Until I am appreciated and you save me dinner

Try heating it up in the microwave

How would you like cold food all the time ?

Next time I would like a little slice of lemon in my water

I am a cat that knows how to live


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