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You Purr Purfectly

Updated on November 6, 2011

If Life Could Be So Easy

I want one job and that is to be my cat and purr my day away

Up on a desk or a chair I will go and relax as I look down below

I sometimes do a 7th inning stretch then I turn my body around and do the hokey pokey then I go back to sleep

Listening to every sound being amused and just too tired to lift my head up

I have a tough job and sometimes I have to clean myself from head to toe

You try it sometime and you let me know

It isn't easy I have to make sure I eat or then I will have to get up and disturb my sleep

Sometimes I stretch my paws out and do my Superman impersonation

I do it well If I say so myself

Then ofcourse their is that itch

That makes my body twitch and shake

Only to make Chuck Berry happy

The day turns into night before my eyes get adjusted to the light

I have to hold off on the water or I wlll be embarressed with a little accident

We are too old for diapers and to young for depends

I hear you come into the house and you call my name

Like I am suppose to be as dumb as a dog and come running

Fat chance since I notice I am getting a little wide in the middle and the best I can do is roll over

Well that about covers it unless you have a blanket to tuck me in

I didn't think so that is why I put my butt on your pillow when you are out all day

I hear all the name calling and I won't let it bother me

Lines like... Are you going to sleep all day while I work ?

You betcha they don't call us lazy for nothing

I would talk more but I have a few cat naps I missed

Because what else I was setting the record straight

Cats can catch a fly you don't see

A mouse that runs along the floor

But you don't hear us bragging that we caught another one

Are average is 888 it is really a 999 but we had to leave some room for improvement

I would like to leave you with a list of demands

Next time you go to sit down look before you jump in your seat

A few new cat toys would be nice

Try vacuming more and taking off your shoes when you come into the house

I am so tired of cleaning my paws when I walk after you

Clean the litter box more often since your sense of smell stinks

I have to get back to business at hand

I am off to Kitty Kitty Land

Where cat owners fix the t.v. before the fights

Break down and call the cable company

For you don't know what you are doing silly

Here is some cat advice

Keep your paws out of the burning sand

Don't forget that can of tuna you promised me

Or I will make walk on your counter tops and hide in your closet

Until I am appreciated and you save me dinner

Try heating it up in the microwave

How would you like cold food all the time ?

Next time I would like a little slice of lemon in my water

I am a cat that knows how to live


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    • DREAM ON profile image

      DREAM ON 6 years ago

      Feline Prophet You have hit the jackpot.My cats are grinning from ear to ear after I read them your comment.Have a soft and cozy day.

    • profile image

      Feline Prophet 6 years ago

      Now we know why any sensible creature would be born a feline! :)

    • DREAM ON profile image

      DREAM ON 6 years ago

      Dim Flaxenwick My cats have me by the get the idea.They have a way of looking at me and say pat me.Love me more.I am yours and I will sleep alot but I love to play and that is a story for another day.Minetonka TWin You make me smile and you make my cats Meowww They miss you too.I have to have picture day real soon.Thanx you both for reading my cats are purring with approval.

    • Minnetonka Twin profile image

      Linda Rogers 6 years ago from Minnesota

      Hi DREAM ON-Long time no see. I just loved this sweet little hub on your cats. Wouldn't it be a great life. Their biggest goal of the day is: nap, nap, nap, nap...I would love to see pictures on this hub of your cats. That would be PURRFECT! LOL :-)

    • Dim Flaxenwick profile image

      Dim Flaxenwick 6 years ago from Great Britain

      This his hilarious. Every word l read, made me laugh more as l could see myself in my cats´shoes... well paws?

      l just adore the way cats treat humans as ´beneath them´

      You express it so well. Only a true cat lover could write this.

      Thanks for making my day ... again....

    • DREAM ON profile image

      DREAM ON 6 years ago

      Movie Master Under construction and we can only hope for the best.Thanx for sharing one more day of fun.

    • Movie Master profile image

      Movie Master 6 years ago from United Kingdom

      Hi dream on, it's a cat's life!

      re your above comment, I would recommend adding pictures to your hubs, plus we would like to see more of Daryl and Charlette!

      I hope all is well with you, best wishes MM

    • DREAM ON profile image

      DREAM ON 6 years ago

      Yes one of two their names Daryl and Charlette. I am working on a plan to have pictures on all my hubs.I thought having no pictures left more to the imagination.What do you think?Thanx so much for all your help:*)

    • mary615 profile image

      Mary Hyatt 6 years ago from Florida

      What a wonderful way to start my day! This is SO delightful; I throughly enjoyed it. Would you be writing about that adorable cat in your photo????