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You Think Your Family Is Nuts....Part Three

Updated on February 24, 2012

It's Willie!


They Call Me Willie!

I know what you are about to think....Is this woman serious? Is her family REALLY like this or is this just for show?!!! Rest assured, what you are about to read is 100% non fiction, well at least in my family. Recall in Part Two I introduced you to Uncle Eddie, my beyond dysfunctional uncle, who wasted his talent to secure a prison career. Well, now we have Willie. Willie is Uncle Eddie's complement and the brother of this writer.

Willie was an aspiring electrician, one with great talent, but like Uncle Eddie, Willie has the desire to secure his spot on the yearly unemployment list. Willie has the system down to a T and uses it to his advantage and you can almost guarantee that he will opt to put in for his yearly winter vacation, lasting several months in duration. You see, Willie gets a job, hold the job for a few months and purposely does something to get fired. This then guarantees him getting his vacation approved for the next month, or perhaps even year.

What makes this whole scenario comical is that Willie sees nothing wrong with his pattern of corrupted success. I mean, hey, anyone who can successfully work for a few months and collect unemployment must be doing something right. Heck! Where can I sign up?! Oh, but this is only the beginning my friend. You see, one can be entertained daily by just merely reading the rantings of Willie's difficulties via Facebook. Before I digress any further I am going to give you a taste of what I experience from Willie on a daily basis.

Recent Willie posts go something like this (and NO I did not edit these unless profanity has been used, as editing these would not give you a clear picture of the true Willie):

Day 1

“I strongly protest the government from violation of my freedom”

“Nice job President Obama for instituting a mandate that is the most arrogant and overreaching assault on our religious liberties that we have ever seen shame on you Barack Obama”

“Yes I speck my mind And it's me and who I am!”

“If it's true that Barack Obama did go for that NDAA bill $*& * him for taken are freedom away”

Day 2

“May just have to get a job that I am there $*t%h worker for shit pay and they say times are getting better I sure don't see it”

“Looking for a hvac professional job that's a real job not a &h%t one that you make $h&t pay and get treated like crap see I know that I am smart when it come to a lot of things and I don't give a s@i* who thinks other ways that I am.not because I am the one with the EPA Section 608 type 3 Technician Certification.”

Day 3

“Tired of under paying company's and shady ones too and company's that don't give a &%$t about there workers and want you to supply all there tools and supply's”

“I need a a vehicle that has a gas tank that just fills it self back up I am sick of the bleeping gas price”

“New York is so bleeping screwing us in the amount it cost to to live hear”

“I say we buy lots of guns get ready for the war because if gas and everything else get more you will see a war”

Day 4

“&%$# child support they can kiss my bleeping $^@”

“Anyone going to port ewen I am waking on 9w soon”

“Bleeping ran out of bleeping gas”

Day 5

“Hi if anyone hear on Facebook has or know someone that has a car that they don't use or need and would like to help a father out that has two kids that very much want to see there dad but can't because there dad don't have a way to get to see his kids I be willing to do work for a car as payment”

“I am so tried of being under paid and having to take &%*t jobs that just use me and sick of being played by women and tired of are government that are gready”

“Hopefully I don't get struck by lightning thinking of going to church”

“Looking for a bicycle looking like will be my new way to get around”

Day 6

“stressed today. my landlord is a bleeping &%$ hole. trying to say I did not pay him I have a copy of the ck I sent him. he can go bleep his self. he is a pain in the &$@. calls my phone 6 time a day. he just wants to get payed 2 time. I am not playing with this %$$ hold. I will take hime to court.”

“really need someone to talk to. my son michael hates me. and now he called his mom and she is coming to pick him up. I feel she don't trust me. with my own kid. I guss back to famley court. I am done playing. michael needs to talk to someone. and I keep telling her and she don't do anything.”

Before I go on, I must say that this is a weekly account of what Willie does on Facebook and in real life in general. As his sister you can only imagine how challenging it is to tell him this is inappropriate, only to be met with Bleep You! Yes, that's Willie and it just so happens he's coming to visit me this weekend.

Stay tuned for more Willie stories in the next issue of You Think Your Family is Nuts....Part Four


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    • jenntyl99 profile image

      jenntyl99 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Thanks! Yes, I am arming myself with a nice bottle of comfort food and if needed, duct tape.

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Best of luck with that visit! As for me I will be anxiously awaiting your next installment. This is better than any reality tv far. I think we are talking Golden Globe if you can just get someone to film it. You are a riot and you have my sincere sympathies. :)