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"You are Nothing but Still You" by Rolly A. Chabot

Updated on April 25, 2013


Where has time slipped away too. Seems like a month of Sundays since I was here last and yes you are right. "It has been."

I have been looking at this link on my desktop for the past few weeks and saying to myself what can I write about to say hello again. I suppose the weather would be a good subject. To catch you up we have had an unprecedented amount of snow for this area and it started in in early November and we are pretty darned tired of it already. Poor Quigley has already practiced her three legged pee outside and has become an expert already. Fell sorry for the poor dog. She lays by the Fireside as I write and wiggles her tail at the mention of her name. She silently whispers "Please not the pee thing again Dad.e

Nano Write has eaten a great deal of time. the 50,000 word challenge was enough let alone what this old timer slipped out in words. I managed a 146,000 words and it will be turned onto a three books series. I called it "Against The Grain" but the title is not sitting right so toying with a few others. To date "From the Mist" is winning. In any case it is over and the word "Phew" comes to mind.

Well for the rest of us I would like to say welcome to the Fireside. Good to see you all here again. Please gather around and for those who are old hands, please welcome the newcomers and be sure they get something warm to drink, a comfortable chair and of course help to make them feel at home while these fingers find their way around the keyboard. A warm and hearty welcome to all and of course know that you are all loved.



It starts small, just a small niggle in the back of your mind. Once there it is like a seed planted and all it needs is to be fed and it gets fed by the minute. We are guilty of feeding it.

People, media, socially it just keeps growing and eventually it takes on a life of its own. It can happen, soon we have created a monster which lives within. A monster that can so easily infect us and those around us if unstopped.

How can the monster of doubt be stopped. Well I suppose the simple answer is we need to put the brakes on in life and deal with it. Hard as it may seem, we need to deal with it instead of just plodding forward and pretending it does not exist.

Far to many of us think that treating ourselves to something nice is the answer. It is not, the momentary warm fuzzy feeling you get from spoiling yourself is not the answer. It is only a quick fix, a band-aide solution to make you feel good.

One think for certain I can tell you is when your health comes into play then you pay attention and realize that maybe things are not as right as what they appear.



Fear comes in many forms for us all, yet would I be safe in saying the root of fear is doubt. Do we as humans live in the fear as often as not. Come now admit it, we do and it is as real as the day is long.

How is it we face these two demons I suppose I ask. What is it we doubt and what is it we fear. I suppose the unknown is what I fear. What is it the future holds and what is it that is cause of what we face, especially when it comes to health issues. When we go from what we have always just taken for granted. We all get sick, you know the colds and the flu and the little things in life and we whine and complain about them.

It is the more serious we doubt and fear and say "Who Me"... no way man. Nothing can ever happen to me. After all look at all the crazy things I have done and survived. Me I can face anything and live on to tell about it.

Facing the reality that we are getting older is a hard thing to come to grips with. Knowing that we have been able to survive what was considered by some as impossible and yet we have done it and are still here.

For those who know me and follow on Face Book and a few other sites you know that I have been facing some health issues. The onslaught of something that is new to me. The dreaded Migraine headaches. I have seen and will be seeing many specialists over the next few weeks. The battery of tests are many but there is still the fear and the doubt hanging as to the cause. I get the same from them all and they question the reason why. Thus I place myself in the hands of the Lord and know that He has a greater plan and I need to trust in Him more than ever before.


The Past

It is what it is, you know the past and the many mistakes we have made. Can we change them. Well I think so, through looking deep from within and saying yes it was all my fault. Can we be right and yet be wrong at the same time. I really do think so. Over the past few years I have had to swallow my pride and say it has been me all the way. Funny thing I made a call the other day and said I was sorry and the response was short and sweet when I asked for forgiveness "Whatever" was the replay.

In this case it is someone I know well, a family member and yet the response leaves an empty place in my heart. Why say such a thing and come so close to using bitterness to acknowledge my confession if you like. Can I take that with me, you bet you can and it burns deep within the soul. What it comes down too really is the fact my owning up to something means nothing to that person.

How I respond to it is my choice. I elected to say that I was sorry. I have done my part really, do I know them, do I know the pain and suffering they go through in life. Apparently not because they have not heard my voice. In such a case what do we do?

Well in this case leave it to rest. I have done all I can with serenity and how they respond is their choice. I have to move on and leave them to their own struggles. In closing the conversation I added I was there should they ever need anything. I have done what I have been called to do.


What Wolf do you Feed

Life is hard, it can be brutal or it can be what it really and truly is. No matter what it is life and it is here to stay as long as we are alive. It is where we find ourselves. I have seen much in the years I have been granted. I have been over the harder roads they have all been roads that I chose all my own. Alcoholism, drug abuse and the far to many times I chose to live on the edge tempting fate and yet I am here today.

Speed, danger, heights and depths have all been challenged and I have come out the victor. But what does it all mean. Not a darned thing really other than the fact that I can say that I have done them. I have beaten the odd's I suppose. What have they been, well many I suppose. A motorcycle at speeds incomprehensibly, Sky diving from the highest of heights and landing with grace. Scuba diving to the extreme depth possible using Tri mixed gases to get there. Fast cars built by my own hand and living to tel, about it. All just formalities to what we all seek and that is peace.Tr

Can I say that I have reached it... can you is the question?

The one thing I can say to each and everyone of you while I am still alive and breathing is... "The road you have travelled has brought you to where you are today."

What more can you ask for that that other than to have peace... it is a reality and sooner or later we need to think about it. Know that you are all loved and may the Father above grant you His peace as you travel along the path to what you are on today today.... it is called life.... Read the old Cherokee proverb again and decide which wolf you feed... Hugs from where I call home... Should you find any spelling errors well they belong to my editor Quigley.... she really does sleep on the job.... Love you all....

© Rolly A. Chabot


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    • Rolly A Chabot profile image

      Rolly A Chabot 5 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Hi klidstone1970 ... smiles and yes the three legged pee is a blast to watch, Quigley was one of 5 puppies in the pen when choosing a dog. The funny part is all the others were all over you but the one that stayed in the back was the one that came home.

      When we are wrong we know it in our hearts and rather than create and carry silly bitterness it is far easier to say "It is all my fault". It clears the path to a far easier path to follow and we become better people in the process...

      Hugs and Blessings from Alberta

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image

      Rolly A Chabot 5 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Hi Angela... first and foremost welcome to the Fireside and I do hope you come to enjoy your visits. It is a blessing to have you with us.

      Doubts and fears are all part of the learning process of life. It is those seeds that are planted in our youth that can sometimes carry forward. Dealing with them in a clear and understanding way brings maturity and wisdom, a blessing to know that you have...

      Hugs from Canada

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image

      Rolly A Chabot 5 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Hi Gypsy and Sid... lol... now tell me the truth was that Sid that caught the missing "L" or you... Thank you for letting me know.

      Glad the good wolf is the recipient of the love and caring you have and so freely give out...

      Hugs and Blessings from The Fireside

    • klidstone1970 profile image

      இڿڰۣ-- кιмвєяℓєу 5 years ago from Niagara Region, Canada

      It takes a big person to put themselves out there and say I was wrong and that your sorry. You're right in saying that it is now in the hands of the family member to do with it what they will. When feeling low, I bet Quigley's performance of the three-legged pee always gets a smile and laughter is the best medicine. Best wishes and tell the dog not to lay around while on the job. ;)

    • Angela Kane profile image

      Angela Kane 5 years ago from Las Vegas, Nevada

      Interesting hub, I am trying to handle my doubts and fears. I know as you get older, you no longer feel as much doubt and fear as when you were younger, but it still rears it's head sometimes and I learn more about how to handle it every time.

    • Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

      Gypsy Rose Lee 5 years ago from Riga, Latvia

      Voted up and awesome. I go with the good wolf pack. This was delightful and gave me lots to reflect upon. Tell Quigley both me and Sid love her but she did miss one l on really right at the end. Hugs to you both. I had been longing for one of your hubs and this was a pleasure to read. Passing it on.

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image

      Rolly A Chabot 5 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Hi Sannel... you always brighten the room when you visit. Thank you for the wonderful comment and all the hugs. Yes it would have been fun to have known each other. I agree another daredevil at my side would have been a blast.

      We live by faith and for some it is hard to understand. It has brought me through much and I have learned much. I love your attitude Sannel and the way you embrace life even though at times you go through some hard things. You are an inspiration to many and never loose your passion you have for life. It is a true blessing to call you friend...

      Hugs and Blessings from Canada

    • profile image

      Sannel 5 years ago

      "Feed your faith and your fears will starve to death" It's a quote, I love. It kind of reminds me of the Cherokee Proverb. The one you feed will win. I was never afraid to do crazy things in life, just like you, Rolly. Only my illness stopped me in the end. I feel sad, because it's way too early in my life, yet grateful, having had the chance to live and do the things I have done. Fear is our worst enemy, if we overcome our fears, a whole new world is opening up to us.

      Rolly, because you fed your faith not your fears, you have lived a very rich life. Through bad and good, you have experienced life, the way life should be experienced. Kudos to you, my friend! You know, we would have had so much fun together if we ever met, lol!

      Thank you for an enjoyable stay.



    • Rolly A Chabot profile image

      Rolly A Chabot 5 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Morning Christy... Tank you for stopping by and saying hello. Thanks for the blessing over the weekend, it must have helped, I managed a sleep in this morning. The first in a long while.

      Hope you are having a good weekend out your way....

      Many Hugs and Blessings

    • ChristyWrites profile image

      Christy Birmingham 5 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

      I read this one recently and remarked on FB but neglected to post a comment here. I send you blessings for your weekend, and may any doubt be far away xx

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image

      Rolly A Chabot 5 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Hi aviannovice ... thank you my friend and good to meet another who has tried some things in life that are considered to be foolish.... lol... such is life.

      Maybe they are not ready to forgive and that is ok with me. Everyone has their own timing but rather than sit and live under that shadow I chose to move on. That in itself is a great discovery...

      Namaste to you my friend

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image

      Rolly A Chabot 5 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Hi Audrey... it is a question that makes us all think. Good in so many ways because we can tell at any given time or test we face what wolf we feed. I hope you find peace with the nigglings...

      Hugs and Blessings

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image

      Rolly A Chabot 5 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Hi Audrey... it is a question that makes us all think. Good in so many ways because we can tell at any given time or test we face what wolf we feed. I hope you find peace with the nigglings...

      Hugs and Blessings

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image

      Rolly A Chabot 5 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Hi Deb... thanks for the comment and Quigley would love to meet all of you as well. I have started a hub and it is in progress of all the dogs I have had over the years and their personalities. It has been a fun write and I will have it up soon.

      Hugs and Blessings

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image

      Rolly A Chabot 5 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Hi ImKarn23... Thanks for the comment and the share Leslie. It is always great to have you visit and leave kind words. Yes we do live in the place we choose to live and sometimes we are not all that happy about things.

      To take the time to stop and realize the root cause is mainly ourselves takes some determination and serious soul searching. Hard stuff sometimes but necessary if we want happiness .

      I am training Quigley to recognize the sound of her name being typed. She is my editor right now and may become a ghost writer herself...

      Hugs and much Love from the West

    • aviannovice profile image

      Deb Hirt 5 years ago from Stillwater, OK

      Rolly, you are right. It took a big man to realize the error of your ways and apologize. I suppose that person is not yet ready to forgive you. Maybe they will come around, but if not, you have done your part. I also like living on the edge and have skydived a couple of times. There is nothing wrong with that. We all need to test our limits and learn about ourselves. Sounds like you have come full circle, but remember, too, that you are also loved. Namaste.

    • AudreyHowitt profile image

      Audrey Howitt 5 years ago from California

      This is niggling at me--the question of which wolf do you feed--niggling--It is an important question I think--thank you!!

    • Deborah Brooks profile image

      Deborah Brooks Langford 5 years ago from Brownsville,TX

      Leslie I would Love to meet Quigley wouldnt you? what a wonderful fireside chat with Rolly..


    • ImKarn23 profile image

      Karen Silverman 5 years ago

      Rolly - it is SOOO warm and cozy here at your fireside! It seems to take all the tenseness and stress from my mind and body!

      Your words could not be more true - and clearly - borne of life experience itself..

      we are where we are mainly because it is where we chose to be..

      life presents challenges to us all - some more than others - some less..some now..some later..

      and some in the past..

      i believe it is our 'job' in life to - handle those challenges - to the best of our ability and to keep working on increasing that ability!

      voting and sharing dear friend!

      (i wonder...does Quigley wag his tale even when you TYPE his name? LOL)

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image

      Rolly A Chabot 5 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Hi drbj... smiles to your words and yes I think we have all fed the wrong wolf at one time or another. No matter what we struggle with, anger, bitterness or past pain what feeds them is more of what they are...

      Hugs and Blessings from Canada

    • AliciaC profile image

      Linda Crampton 5 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

      The Cherokee proverb is wonderful, Rolly, and is a great guide for life. I hope that all your health issues are resolved happily. Congratulations on the completion of your books.

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image

      Rolly A Chabot 5 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Hi Always... so sorry of your loss my friend. Like you I have had people slip away and not have a chance to speak with them. It is a blessing to know that someday you will see her again and will be wiped clean...

      Hugs and Blessings

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image

      Rolly A Chabot 5 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Hi Eddy... hugs to you my dear friend... what a blessing to have you come along and leave such thoughtful words. You are such a blessing at all times.

      After all you have been through my dear it is so special to read of the healing you have found....

      Much love and many Blessings

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image

      Rolly A Chabot 5 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Hi deedeelaw... a warm Canadian welcome to the Fireside and so pleased you have found your way here... I was just over to your site and love the way you use words... touching.

      Hugs and Blessings

    • drbj profile image

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Thanks, Rolly, for reminding me of that excellent and meaningful old Cherokee proverb: (Which is) 'the wolf that wins? The one you feed?' Hope your health is improving day by day.

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image

      Rolly A Chabot 5 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Hi Deb... Thank you for stopping at the Fireside and resting for a little while. Thank you for the share as well, very kind and thoughtful of you.

      Like you I love some of the Native sayings and collections of thoughts and teachings. They are grass roots teachings coming from a people who live off the land and understand the land.

      To live in turmoil is not the way we are called to live. There are times when we have to step out from the crushing grip of anger and bitterness and seek how we are called to live...

      Hugs and Blessings and thanks for the prayer

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image

      Rolly A Chabot 5 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Hi Billybuc... so true... Like you I fed the wrong wolf for years. It all but turned and started feeding on me. The cree Indians in the north talk of "Nitocomica"... the angry spirit that swoops and stirs anger among the people. In their songs they sing of the way he passed through villages, families and marriages then leaves the people all upset and in turmoil.

      I feed the right wolf today and it is a blessing.

      Hugs and Blessings to you and Bev

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image

      Rolly A Chabot 5 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Hi Faith Reaper... excellent choices you have made. I have watched so many including myself struggle with many issues and yet there is freedom that can be found should we choose it.

      A blessing to know that you have chosen the right path. Life is hard enough tan to live it under someones else's issue haunting you. Thank you for the prayer...

      Hugs as always

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image

      Rolly A Chabot 5 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Hi Mark... Thank you for taking the time to stop and say hello. Trust all is well with you...

      Hugs my friend

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Richert 5 years ago from Southern Illinois

      I love visiting you by your fireside. All that you write is familiar and like you, i am still here.I have had the same experience with attempting to apologize to a dear sister who refused to accept it. It hurt deeply at the time. She just recently passed away without reconnecting. I do not let myself think about it, i tried and failed, life goes on. I know i will see her again. I do hope you will be ok Rolly. Hugs and blessings...

    • Eiddwen profile image

      Eiddwen 5 years ago from Wales

      A wonderful share here Rolly and like Debbie I also loved the Chinese proverb. Much of what you write here I relate to and I have had to rise above the nastiness of some!! Mush as I would love all to be well I have to realise that this is simply not going to happen so with my life I carry on upwards and onwards and these people are left to carry on with their lives too.

      A wonderful few moments of contemplation here and to carry on with these visits to sit by your cosy open fire.

      Have a wonderful day my friend.


    • deedeelaw profile image

      Deborah S. Lawrence 5 years ago from Deborah's Musings

      I'm glad your back, even more so that I found you. Excellent read. I look forward to reading more from you. God speed~

    • Deborah Brooks profile image

      Deborah Brooks Langford 5 years ago from Brownsville,TX

      My Dear Rolly... You have been busy writing and what a beautiful and meaningful write it is.. I love the Cherokee proverb.. since I have Cherokee in me.. I love anything I can read about them.. The Good or the bad.. what do I feed most? I would like to think I would feed the good but sometimes the bad wants to show her ugly head.. lol.. but Praise the Lord... I have Jesus to help me overcome the bad.. Blessings to you my friend..

      May the Light of the Lord shine his healing powers on your head and HIS love envelopes you with power and such qualities of love.. Many Blessings from our Lord to you and your family and your wonderful words.


    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Great minds and all that. I wrote about the two wolves a couple weeks ago. I know which one I want to feed. Spent far too many years feeding the other one.

      Blessings my friend. Have a great week.


    • Faith Reaper profile image

      Faith Reaper 5 years ago from southern USA

      Excellent points we all struggled with: Doubt, Fear and the Past . . . I choose "Good" over "Evil" to feed myself. It is oh so important to be mindful of what we think ----our thoughts. I am reminded of the fruit of the Spirit: Love, Joy, Peace, Gentleness, Kindness, Self-Control, Patience, Goodness and Faithfulness.

      I am praying for you and your health issues.

      As you always tell us . . . please know that you are loved.

      Voted up ++++ and sharing

      God bless. In His Love, Faith Reaper

    • Curiad profile image

      Mark G Weller 5 years ago from Lake Charles, LA.

      It is always good to hear your words my friend.


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