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Your Waitress Or Waiter Is Probably Smarter Than You
Servers are smarter than they let on
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Waiters and waitresses are oftentimes brilliant learners and secretly, they think you're pretty dumb
Waitresses and waiters are often students of academia and always students of life. They get to see all sides of the public. They witness hubris on a scale not seen by someone who works in a more private setting.
When you order a heaping helping of panna cotta and pronounce it pain-a coat-a they laugh at you when you are not looking. They deserve to laugh too. Not because you are dumb. After all, you and I both know you are the smartest thing since a funny bone on a kitchen counter right! No no no, servers get to laugh at some of us, because some of us believe we are better than they are.
In much of the world, waiters and waitresses are held in high esteem, a position to be revered for it's skill in public affability and mental gymnastics, what with all the rote memorization and constantly changing orders. But here in the United States, much of the public looks at Servers as though they are beneath them. They are not after all, members of the Very Important People's Club. They are not Presidents of corporations nor are they Doctors of medicine or Hollywood actors who don't wear underwear in public, mostly. They are what some Americans deem as serfs in what is supposed to be a serf-less society. So what if many of them are studying to be lawyers and teachers. So what if they were able to memorize forty different items on a menu each with three words in Italian that you can not pronounce proficiently but that rolls off of their tongue as though it were velvety truffle oil. They are merely the lowly waiters and waitresses.
When you are ready to wind down for the day, having mostly kept to yourself juggling numbers at work and only having to call your stock analyst twice to check on your mutual funds, these people are gearing up to baby you. Why? For the bread mon frere for the bread. They will tell you how great you look and you will concur. They will laugh at your pun, "Ha ha, you're right sir plate of food? More like Plato food! You are funny!"
Sure that plate maybe approaching four hundred and fifty degrees Fahrenheit but never mind moving your napkin over an eighth of an inch, they will endure second degree burns so you might enjoy a heaping hot plate of Chianti braised ribs. Enjoy! Maybe they come back to check on your meal and you're upset that they've come back already! "Why won't that waiter leave us in peace!"
Maybe they wait a little longer and you're upset you weren't attended to sooner, "Where is that damn waitress, whadda day think we have all night, this isn't rocket science."
Oh but it is, it is rocket science. In their laughter and quiet resolve a server is intricately calculating your next move, deciding either on their own or commiserating with an equally abused server what bone headed notion you will spout off next. Perhaps you would like to argue why Champagne is most certainly from Australia? Maybe you would like to explain why you are 100% positive that all great fillet mignons are served well done. You are the boss after all, you are the paying customer. What does a lousy waiter know anyway? You might be surprised if you would spend a week or two in their shoes. But you never will because you are such a resounding success in all your endeavors. You will never be laid off. You will never be cornered into a job you don't care for. You will never have to stoop to physical labor, because you are so damned brilliant.
Maybe you should think twice about this human being who is carrying your food to the front of your smug and sanctimonious mug. Perhaps you should think twice about the person who is trying to make sure you have a great experience relaxing and eating out away from home for a night. What if, just what if they are playing you like a flute? What if you are the Emperor who wears no clothes in the restaurant tonight? Maybe you should shelter your ego in some magnanimity and savor the flavor of this wonderful, bright man or woman who cared enough to treat you with sincere service.
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