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Alone In The Attic (childhood memory aged 5) true story.

Updated on July 3, 2013

I came into this world without a frown or a smile,

looking back now it seems a very long while,

my early years pushed from pillar to post,

should be seen and never heard,

was I there or a ghost.

My family disjointed-estranged, poles apart,

I thought this was normal right from the start,

love was a word others told,

hugs of emotion left me cold.

Problem child I heard them say,

lock him up and throw him away,

unfamiliar strange was the lyric the tune,

as the door closed behind me,

in my dads attic room.

No carpet no drapes dirty sheet on my bed,

not even a pillow to rest my head,

a broken window let in the breeze,

I cried into the night,

I would surely freeze.

I needed the toilet I banged upon the door,

my only response was a distant roar,

no bulb in the fixture illuminated my plight,

alone in the dark I cried into the night.

Next morning footsteps I had to wait,

the door would creak open and in slid a plate,

baked beans steaming bent over the heat,

cockroaches scurried as they watched me eat.

I was only 5 years old but the memory is clear,

what had I done to end up in here,

nobody loved me my dreams said at night,

alone in the dark in my dads attic out of sight.

Do you have childhood memories that have seriously affected you in later life?

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  • Mark Psychedlic profile image

    Mark Hodges 5 years ago from Birmingham UK

    The poem related to mom's death is called you left without saying goodbye...

  • Mark Psychedlic profile image

    Mark Hodges 6 years ago from Birmingham UK

    this was true but i turned the memory into something usefull i,e. this poem. Thankyou for your comment x

  • profile image

    lostwithinmyself 6 years ago

    OMG this is such a horrid story but one i can relate to so so much. (hugs). x

  • Mark Psychedlic profile image

    Mark Hodges 6 years ago from Birmingham UK

    I was locked in the attic for 2 years until I was reunited with my mother

  • Vinaya Ghimire profile image

    Vinaya Ghimire 6 years ago from Nepal

    It must have been hard for you. I also remembered of being locked in the school bathroom for two hours when I was 9 years.

  • Ruthcurley profile image

    Ruthcurley 6 years ago from Bozrah, CT

    poignant, lovely writing and so sad.

  • Becky Katz profile image

    Becky Katz 6 years ago from Hereford, AZ

    Mark, I lost my mother several years ago. I still miss her dreadfully but there is a time to grab yourself by the boot straps and move on. It is so terribly hard but you have to do it. I will be praying for you. If I can help, do not hesitate to contact me. Just leave me a note on one of my hubs and I will get back to you as soon as possible.

  • Jean Bakula profile image

    Jean Bakula 6 years ago from New Jersey

    Dear Mark,

    I hope you can find someone to talk to that can help you through another very hard time. Perhaps some kind of grief counselour? Your poem was very sad. I once had a friend who was legally blind, and while a child his Mother tied him to a post. Really. He has since passed on. But you have survived, so are strong, and I hope you find people that can help you. Try to get out and talk to someone.

  • Mark Psychedlic profile image

    Mark Hodges 6 years ago from Birmingham UK

    thankyou for your comment but losing my mother on tuesday 22nd brings home to me the reality of lonliness and my lament is sombre and my heart heavy and my tears many as memories replace the smile my dear mother had for me now im cosumed in the past holding onto the last words she spoke and amongst them flood childhood memories of my estranged father and the time i spent before my return to my mother im lost now and my poetry is the only legacy I can leave of my sad life before i to shake this mortal coil...........Namaste

  • Hyphenbird profile image

    Brenda Barnes 6 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful

    Mark, you are indeed loved and by more people than you even realize.

  • Darknlovely3436 profile image

    Annie 6 years ago from NewYork

    if this is true, it was child abused, and so sad i hope that you are okay no....nobody loved me my dreams said at night

    peace within, ,