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Short Story about Abortion: It's Just a "Fetus"?

Updated on January 18, 2013
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It's just a "fetus"

They had given her the shot hours before and finally the contractions were getting stronger. Her breath was shallow as she gulped to catch her breath. Gulping more from fear than pain, she rang anxiously for the nurse. Mandy lay on the bed, wondering what would happen next.

No one had told her this part about having sex - that sex meant babies and babies could mean an abortion. No one had told her that she would be laying there all alone, wondering if God was going to send her to hell for this.

She pushed furiously at the stupid button again and still no one came. What is wrong with these stupid nurses her mind screamed. Why are they taking so long??

Finally, in what seemed like hours, Nurse Willow pushed her way into the room. "What's wrong?" the nurse said in precise, clipped tones. "What do you need now?" she asked in a cold tone. Mandy could not stand the nurse and tried her hardest to keep her composure.

"I feel like I have to push," Mandy pleaded to the nurse, "Please tell me what to do". Mandy's 15 year old face looked imploringly at the nurse. Mandy's mom had left hours earlier and now she was left alone to this witch of a nurse. In fact, there was only one other person in the room and that patient was already complaining that Mandy was making too much noise.

The nurse lifted up the sheet and peered down, rough fingers examining, prodding, pushing. Mandy winced as the contractions got stronger.

The nurse announced that the baby was coming and instructed Mandy to push harder. Mandy was terrified and could only do as she said, hoping that the nurse knew what she was doing.

Almost like a whisper a big cramp came and Mandy felt the baby come out. She couldn't help but look, even though she knew the baby was dead. Pure instinct took over and Mandy peered at the perfect 26 week baby gripped in the nurses hands. Not a word was spoken. Mandy started crying and the nurse looked at her like she wanted to slap Mandy in the face. Confused, frightened and abandoned, Mandy lay sobbing on the sheets as the nurse placed the baby in a plastic dish. She didn't even look at Mandy, just picked up her parcel and whisked it out of the room.

Mandy lay on the bed devastated. "Oh my God, what have I done," her head screamed, "How could I do this?". Her mind was whirling and she started screaming at the top of her lungs. Nurse Willow came rushing back in and gave her a shot before adding, "You wanted this abortion. Now it's done. The baby is gone so stop your stupid crying. It's just a fetus!". Those were the last words Mandy heard before she passed out from the morphine.

Down the hall, the nurse gently lifted the baby out of the plastic dish and put her on a table. Her little mouth pursed together as she struggled to breath.

Catching her breath, the baby started to cry. Weakly at first, then stronger as the minutes ticked by.

Nurse Willow smiled down at the little baby with a mothers loving glow. She fussed over the baby, adjusting her blanket and gently rubbing her pink and white feet. "Don't cry," she cooed, "Your new Mommy's here with you sweetheart".

Mandy lay down the hallway blissfully unaware, dreaming about the death of her first daughter.

@Copyright Dorsi Diaz 2011

NOTE: The inspiration for this story was based on my experience of having an abortion at the age of 15. It was a late term abortion and I often fantasized that my first baby had been born alive and was perhaps living somewhere. I struggled with guilt for many years and wish I had never done that. Having an abortion can bring a lifetime of pain. And the part about the mean nurse, that was true. That sticks in my mind till this day.


(Dorsi Diaz, the author, is a freelance writer, photographer and artist. This story is fictional and was based on some of Dorsi's true life experiences. Names and circumstances have been changed to protect the innocent and any resemblance to real life is purely coincidental.)

Books: True stories of abortion survivors

Melissa Ohden: An Abortion Survivor - CBN.com

Gianna Jessen Abortion Survivor in Australia Part 1

Comments

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  • Dorsi profile imageAUTHOR

    Dorsi Diaz 

    5 years ago from The San Francisco Bay Area

    @beatboxer) Thank you beat for reading. Yes, I hope this piece would help someone think through having a abortion, it's not always the "easy way out", or the "right" thing to do.

  • beatboxer profile image

    Mark Beattie 

    5 years ago from Scotland

    A powerful piece of work, which I'm sure will stimulate the thought process of any pregnant persons, deliberating over what to do next.

  • vox vocis profile image

    Jasmine 

    7 years ago

    You're welcome, Dorsi! Keep the faith and stay strong :)

    P.S. Thank you for writing this article. I think it will be of great help to those in doubt.

  • Dorsi profile imageAUTHOR

    Dorsi Diaz 

    7 years ago from The San Francisco Bay Area

    @Vox) Thank you so much for such a beautiful comment with so much to think about. I wonder how many women would still have an abortion if they saw an early ultrasound?

    I am glad you did view the videos - although sad they are also triumphant and give one lots to think about. Thanks for the support my friend.

  • vox vocis profile image

    Jasmine 

    7 years ago

    The "article" (seems like a cold word at the moment) made me cry all right. I've never had this experience, but I know a few women who did; one particular friend wanted to go to a confession, but didn't because she thought it was a deadly sin (the one which cannot be forgiven ever). When she told me this, I said to her to go to church and confess right away (we were at work) and make piece with herself and God. She stayed a long time there and she said that she cried "the life out of her."

    When I was 15, I thought "it was just a fetus," too. I learned that it wasn't just "that," but although I'm absolutely not in favor of abortion, I don't judge people who did it for some reason. It's between them and God.

    Yet, I have to say that the second video - Gianna Jessen's words punched me in the face and carved into my heart - I'll never forget them. What she said about that doctor - the quote from his book that she spoke out - it almost made my blood freeze!

    I'm bookmarking this so that I never forget what she said.

    A friend of mine went to an ultrasound to see her six-weeks-old baby recently and she saw everything on the screen - the head, legs, hands, heart, kidneys, everything! It was like less than 3-4 cm "big," but it had all that and she could hear the heart beat! Miraculous! So much about it being just a fetus, right?

    At last, because you've spoken so openly about your experience, I'd like to tell you that God knows how you feel and how you hope to see your baby when the time comes. And you will, I'm sure, because only God is really the master of life and death, and therefore, I think your baby is pretty much alive in another dimension of time.

    It's good that you think the way you do, but don't let the spirit of guilt eat you alive. Mandy was just a child and alone (from what I've read) - what was she supposed to do? But, even a child knows that dreams can come true :)

  • Dorsi profile imageAUTHOR

    Dorsi Diaz 

    7 years ago from The San Francisco Bay Area

    @kerl) I cried when I read your comment. What a beautiful thought, and one that I will carry with me. Thank-you.

    @coffee) Thank you. What a beautiful word to use in this: restoration. Yes and I hope it helps another young mother.That is my prayer.

    Nancy) Thank you so much. What a healing story this is turning out to be through people such as you who help me see the bigger picture. Thank you.

    @Kulsum) Yes it is a tragic reality for many young women. Thanks for reading.

  • Kulsum Mehmood profile image

    Dr Kulsum Mehmood 

    7 years ago from Nagpur, India

    Felt so sad after reading this hub. But this is life and a reality facing the society.

  • profile image

    Nancy's Niche 

    7 years ago

    This is such an emotional story and your courage in telling it reveals the personal devastation that a decision “for abortion” can leave behind.

    Thanks for sharing this private piece of your life with us. You need to forgive that young girl who had no support or guidance when faced with such a crucial decision all those years ago.

    Other’s can learn from your experience through this story.

    “To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.” ~Lewis B. Smedes

  • profile image

    coffeesnob 

    7 years ago

    So often forgotton is God's restotative power. It seems you have found this restoration. I pray your testimony will save a child and bring hope to a mom who may feel lost

  • kerlynb profile image

    kerlynb 

    7 years ago from Philippines, Southeast Asia, Earth ^_^

    I wish I could eventually have the courage that you have and write about the most painful things in my life in such a beautiful, impressive way. Thanks for sharing this hub. Perhaps your fistborn is now your angel, helping you deal with everyday life and watching over you.

  • Dorsi profile imageAUTHOR

    Dorsi Diaz 

    7 years ago from The San Francisco Bay Area

    @Giselle) Thank you so much. I really appreciate your support.

  • profile image

    Giselle Maine 

    7 years ago

    This story is so gripping, so beautiful, and so scary all at once. I love the ending. I agree with what Aupadhyay said - you had immense courage to write this compelling story. I love your artwork at the top too! A beautiful work of art with a very interesting technique.

  • Dorsi profile imageAUTHOR

    Dorsi Diaz 

    7 years ago from The San Francisco Bay Area

    @missolive) Yes those "what ifs" can stay with you a long long time.I'm tearing up reading this again. All I can say is that I know my firstborn is waiting for me in heaven and one day we will meet.

    @AUPADHAY) Thank you my friend.

  • AUPADHYAY profile image

    ANIL KUMAR UPADHYAY 

    7 years ago from INDIA, UTTAR PRADESH STATE, KANPUR CITY

    You are actually having great courage to write such an hub. Appreciated a lot.

  • missolive profile image

    Marisa Hammond Olivares 

    7 years ago from Texas

    This is incredibly profound - I am sure this was difficult to write.

    Fictional History has always been an interest of mine...you know - the "what ifs?" You have taken your experience and have considered how it would have played out - differently. Well done...

    Wishing you peace, MissOlive/Marisa

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