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beauty

Updated on July 29, 2010

nearer

 call me anything

but dont call me by name, it pains me.

tell me if i was gone you would be better.               (because i dont believe you.)

you tell me i bring nothing

but who would supply the feelings, if i wasnt here?

you never think about whats inside of my voice.

all you see is the volume of my words.

you say you dont like this place, that it holds bad memories...

yeah...its the place.

I guess without me youd have it all.

somewhere in between being sick and being ok...

your real feelings bled through.

and i dont think you like who i am.

you put your pain on my shoulders

and make me feel every inch of your faults.

no matter who attacks, its my fault

if i would do better, try harder, be different.

i feel tragedy, because i refuse to change.

im not stubborn, or difficult

i just know who i am

maybe if you knew yourself completely

you would understand.

i change for no one

and stand by myself.

i cry inside because you have no love for you.

things can always be better

or so you say

i cant believe that

because i embrace each moment of my life

and choose not to punish myself

for letting others expectations down.

when it comes down to it

we are all alone

so i love myself with the truest love there is

because if im alone

i better be happy with me

else....what is the point?

tasting each moment...a flavor explosion.

your life is art...you dont know that?

its beautiful

feel each feeling with everything you have

embrace time

because its walking away from you

but we have today...

                                  we have today

are you mad?...break something.                              But feel it.

feel the glass leave your hand.

feel its loss as it rushes the floor

feel the shatter in your soul

 let it break your anger

are you sad?

cry with your whole soul

hot tears running down

sorrowful cries aching as they escape your throat

embrace it

and if your happy...hold the moment.

remember it

this is life

this is all we have

it cannot be paused or pushed

know yourself.

hold your own hand.

in the quiet of the night

when all thats left is me

and there are no words to get in the way

i think of the ocean.

i visualize myself

in the dark

barefoot in the sand

wind rushing my body

quiet

massive endless ocean

it makes me feel nearer to myself somehow.

 

 

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    • the pink umbrella profile image
      Author

      the pink umbrella 6 years ago from the darkened forest deep within me.

      i dont know mandypoole, this one gives me weird chills when i read it back. lol.

    • mandypoole profile image

      mandypoole 6 years ago from UK

      Very beautiful poem, and I agree that the Ocean is very powerful and calming too, nature really is awesome

      .

    • epigramman profile image

      epigramman 7 years ago

      ..well it's obvious - you're beautiful because you're you!!!!! And don't ever change it!

    • the pink umbrella profile image
      Author

      the pink umbrella 7 years ago from the darkened forest deep within me.

      tom- thanx zilla...

    • tom hellert profile image

      tom hellert 7 years ago from home

      the depth and feeling that is in your writing I don't own,i can only rent it when i read your stuff

      TH

    • the pink umbrella profile image
      Author

      the pink umbrella 7 years ago from the darkened forest deep within me.

      fred allen- thank you. you should definately do that, and when you get a chance, go down to the beach alone and do it for real. It is seriously recharging. Nature has a force that cannot be substituted. You have no idea how much life the ocean breathes into one who stands ready and with an open soul.

    • fred allen profile image

      fred allen 7 years ago from Myrtle Beach SC

      I could feel the emotion as this unfolded. I like how you present the pain and transform it to victory. Barefoot in the sand. I think I'll do that tonight!

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