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Book Review: Ten Stupid Things Couples Do to Mess Up Their Relationships

Updated on April 6, 2013

About the Author

A biology graduate, doctor in physiology and a reputed American marital counsel, Dr. Laura Schlessinger was for a long time the host of a popular radio program with international audience. Besides, she is the author of a few self-help books through which she tries to put her experience to the general public's service. Six of her publications have been awarded the "top seller" label by New York Times.

Her show's success and the wide appreciation of her books both by the general public and by psychologists have proven that Dr. Laura Schlessinger is an expert in providing effective solutions and sane pieces of advice concerning the stupid things people do to sabotage their own happiness.

Following two other successful books ("10 Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives" and "10 Stupid Things Men Do to Mess Up Their Lives" ) through which she urges her readers to take responsibility for their actions and to respect both themselves and the others, this book attacks another difficult and complicated, yet very common issue: the way women and men hurt themselves and each other within a romantic relationship.

About the Book

An excellent book for couples as well as for singles looking for a partner, "Ten Stupid Things Couples Do to Mess Up Their Relationship" is organized into 10 chapters, each one discussing a a basic principle that many people ignore.

All the book is seasoned with quotes from letters Dr. Laura Schlessinger received from her fans or phone calls she got from her listeners. The author skillfully uses these personal stories to illustrate her points. The effect is not only a better contextualization, but also an enhanced readability. Many self-help books keep their readers at a theoretical level.Laura Schlessinger knows how to place them inside the story.

Ten Stupid Things Couples Do to Mess Up Their Relationships
Ten Stupid Things Couples Do to Mess Up Their Relationships

Here are a few opinions other people expressed on the book:

- "Despite my disagreements with her politically, she's always been right on with issues about relationships, and this book really nails some of the more serious issues every couple faces, including gay couples. The issues she confronts are really universal."

- "All couples should read this book. Dr. Laura really tells it like it is."

- "The cover says 'couples' but I think it is good for everyone whom has friendships/relationships with anyone. You just have to be open and really read and take in what she is saying."


Ideally, couples need three lives: one for him, one for her, and one for them together.

  1. Stupid Secrets

    Here is where we learn the difference between intimacy and secrecy. Being afraid they will be rejected if the truth comes out, many people keep lots of secrets about themselves, about their past, their feelings or thoughts. On the other hand, there are also those who spill out any intimate thought with no consideration on how this might affect their partners.

  2. Stupid Egotism

    Touching a variety of topics such as feminism, marriage, parenting, morality and religion, this chapter discusses the influences an enhanced spirit of independence and an exacerbated ego can have upon the relationship.

  3. Stupid Pettiness

    Much ado about nothing... Shakespeare once said. In this chapter, Dr. Laura speaks about the exaggerated concern for small insignificant things. She argues that daily life's serenity is most often disturbed by petty worries and disputes, not by catastrophic events.

  4. Stupid Power

    Living with a person who wants to hold the absolute control can become really frustrating. What about a partner who tries to be perfect and demands the same thing from you? Wouldn't this worry you out?

  5. Stupid Priorities

    Although I don't personally agree with everything Dr. Laura argues in this chapter, I have to admit she makes some good points about establishing one's priorities. Setting family and the romantic relationship as utmost priority at all times seems a bit of an exaggeration to me. Life is made up of much more than that. However, I agree they have to remain among your top priorities.

  6. Stupid Happiness

    People look for happiness in the most bizarre choices they make. They bury themselves in work. They drink, party, shop or eat too much. In this chapter you will learn about the effect this pursuit for absolute happiness can have upon your family life.

  7. Stupid Excuses

    Is there an excuse for mistakes an improper behavior? Maybe the fact that we are humans? However, there are people who cannot take responsibility for their mistakes. Therefore, they invent explanations and find excuses. Haven't they heard of the Latin phrase "errare humanum est"?

  8. Stupid Liaisons

    While being involved in a serious relationship does not exclude having friends, one has to ponder other people's influence. Then, there are certain liaisons such as keeping in touch with your exes that are bound to damage the relationship you are in.

  9. Stupid Mismatch

    Laura Schlessinger is a fervent advocate of the saving the relationship idea. However, even she agrees that not all couples are meant to be together and not all relationships are worth saving. Sometimes it is best you break up and look elsewhere.

  10. Stupid Breakups

    Couples find so many stupid reasons to argue about: snoring, reading the magazine, too much or too little salt in the soup, etc. As insignificant as it might seem, these issues can lead to break ups... stupid breakups as Dr. Laura puts it.

Other books by Laura Schlessinger

The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage
The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage

Marriage needs to be nourished all the time. Even when it is based on true love, the two partners still have to take care of their relationship.

Learn how to take care of your marriage and how to feed the fire of love with one of the world's best marriage counsels - Laura Schlessinger.

Ten Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives
Ten Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives

Being a woman is difficult nowadays. Handling a career and a family is not always easy.

Using real life examples inspired by the callers to her radio show as well as by her private practice's clients, Laura Schlessinger tells us which are the most stupid 10 things a woman can do to mess her life up. Read it like a story, learn the lesson and live a happy life!

Ten Stupid Things Men Do to Mess Up Their Lives
Ten Stupid Things Men Do to Mess Up Their Lives

If being a woman is not easy, what can you say about being a man? Another fascinating reading, this book by Laura Schlessinger teaches us how to avoid doing stupid things as a man.

Even if you are a woman, read the book as it will help you understand the men in your life much better.

Stupid Things Parents Do To Mess Up Their Kids: Don't Have Them If You Won't Raise Them
Stupid Things Parents Do To Mess Up Their Kids: Don't Have Them If You Won't Raise Them

Laura Schlessinger attacks another hot topic: parenthood. A success for some, a failure for other, parenthood is an art, but an art that can be learned.

Find out which are the worst mistakes you can do as a parent and how to succeed in this role, too.


Dr. Laura's Couples Advice

Have you read the book?

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    • profile image


      6 years ago

      Nice book review.

    • artbyrodriguez profile image

      Beverly Rodriguez 

      6 years ago from Albany New York

      Interesting subject that most folks can relate to. RocketSquid tip....add a Pole Module with a related question to involve your readers in the lens. Good work!

    • Elsie Hagley profile image

      Elsie Hagley 

      6 years ago from New Zealand

      No I haven't read the book, but I agree with what Laura Schlessinger say's. Think before we open our mouth, if it would hurt you if someone said it to you, well don't say it. In most cases it's our mouth that ruins relationships.

      Take control of our actions. I have been married for 53 years. We soon learn.


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