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BRING!! ~~~BRING!! ~~~~BRING!!~~~ Bring it on Beeeeyatch!

Updated on March 12, 2010

I'm so busy right now,
doing something much greater,
making lunches for the homeless,
you should join them...I'll cater,
if you leave me your home phone,
maybe I'll call you later.

In the middle of dinner,
or when your making love,
interrupting that blissful point
your dreaming of,

What's that you say, you can't??
have me call you at home???
yet you're on my line blabbering,
'bout cellular phones,

So then why did you call
up my home, and just bother,
me as I was changing
my poor dying father,
I've got a Depends in one hand,
with some feces dipped digits,
and the last thing I needed,
was phone sales mental midgets!

Why not give me your cell phone,
what's the number, pray tell,
then when your on the freeway
in some rush hour hell,
you'll be fumbling to answer,
as the cars ahead slow,
then you'll crash right into them,
as I holler,"Hello!"

Or give me your e-mail,
that might just be a plan,
then I'll send you my response,
with ten MB's of spam,

Better yet leave a message,
which I'll simply resend,
sixteen thousands and six times,
to my dear phone sales friend.

Is that silence I'm hearing,
like before my phone rang,
has the cat got your tongue,
where's that tedious harangue.

I suggest you hang up now,
and call president bush,
he got oodles of money,
and just sits on his tush,
he could use a nice voice now,
he's a most hated man,
he invades all our privacy,
much like your stores sales plan,

Or call up mean dick cheney,
but he's good with a gun,
he might just shoot your lawyers,
and get you when he's done,

I hear Wendy's is hiring,
you just might look them up,
cause when your selling burgers,
no one screams, "Just shut-up!"

There's no phone calls to make,
just a bad drive in mike,
you can sell the whole menu,
to each car if you like.
Then they'll buy what your offering,
they'll eat up what your selling,
you might move up to manager,
doesn't that sound compelling,

Cause the only time
I've heard solicitors used,
are for whores who hang downtown,
and this call of abuse,

I'm going back to the bathtub,
you go jump in the lake,
don't forget your cement shoes,
is it time for your break,

let me call while your eating,
your ten minute sandwich,
you can talk between mouthfuls,
wouldn't that be just grand, Witch!

Cause I don't need a cell phone,
you'd just call me on that,
and use up all my minutes,
with your oh, so lame chat.

Have a most lovely day,
please don't think I'm a snob,
but most folks who call me here,
are employed with real jobs!!






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    • Mrs. J. B. profile image

      Mrs. J. B. 6 years ago from Southern California

      YOur hub is great

    • Micky Dee profile image

      Micky Dee 7 years ago

      Hey! You didn't CALL ME BACK!