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What You Don’t Know About Amanda’s Child
In the past years while her life went through turmoil she watched her mother suffer and almost die. As they fled to safety she thought that things would get better for her mother and even though it was slow in its process she could see change and felt hope. She could see that her mother was not looking too healthy and the smile on her mother’s face was riddled with pain yet her mother continued to smile and do as much as she could for all of her children but Amanda’s daughter noticed more. She saw that her mother wanted to do so much more for her children than she was capable of and lifted things that she strained to pick up, she struggled to sleep at night but whenever she asked her mother how she was, she always said she was fine.
However this one year Amanda’s child came in and found her mother close to death, her mother had had what was thought to be a simple cold but it was not a cold that her body could fight. Amanda’s child was terrified and she didn’t know what to do so she screamed for her brother who, told her to call 911 and he took over control of that situation. She cried sobbingly as the medics tried to removed her mother from the crouched position that she had fallen into and they tried to stop the continuous vomiting that her mother could not stop, they said without realizing the impact that it would have on Amanda’s child, “it was lucky that you found her or she would not have made it”. It is the second time that Amanda’s child had found her mother close to death in that year alone after they had made their escape but it is the worst thing that Amanda’s child had witnessed and it terrified her.
She stayed with her mother in the hospital the entire time even after her mother was brought back to life and begged her to go home, she didn’t want her daughter to see her like this, she didn’t want her daughter to continue to sob cause she did not know what to say to erase the image that she had just seen but Amanda’s child refused to leave. Amanda tried to smile through the tube attached to her body while telling her child that she was fine but Amanda knew that her daughter knew better.
After Amanda was released from the hospital things changed for Amanda’s child. She knew more than most that her mother was all that she had and she knew that she was this close to losing her.
Amanda’s child was afraid to leave her mother alone, she slept in her bed next to her and she got up every time that her mother stirred, she wanted to be there if something happened again. She didn’t want to go to school but her mother insisted that she had to go to school otherwise she would be wasting the future that Amanda had been fighting for her for, so Amanda’s child went to school after a few days.
Amanda’s child texted and called her mother many times throughout the day just to make sure she was okay and Amanda knew that she had better respond if she wanted her daughter to relax in school.
However no one understood Amanda’s child, no one knew that she could not learn a thing at school because she was so worried about her mother, in fact she didn’t care right there and then, she wanted to spend every moment with her mother. The school didn’t understand, her friends didn’t understand, no one understood just how much her mother meant to her. Amanda’s child knew that her mother loved her and that was the only person that she could trust and talk to at the time. She knew what they didn’t and that was, that if she lost her mother then she would lose herself.
Amanda worked hard at getting better because she knew the trauma that her daughter had suffered and she needed to get better so she could take that fear away from her child. Amanda worked hard at getting back to life and even though her daughter wanted her to go slower Amanda knew that if she couldn’t set things right that her daughter would not be able to excel in school.
Amanda got up early every morning and insisted on dropping her daughter off to school and would return later to pick her up. She promised her child that in between her school hours, she would sleep until she got better and she did, she agreed to have two chats with her daughter a day but that was all and she told her that she would be fine. On Friday’s Amanda would make sure to order in and sit with her daughter and watch movies all night, they called it “girls night in”. As Amanda got better she was able to go to her daughter’s basketball games and watch, it was painful for her but Amanda saw the light in her daughter’s eyes as she sat there watching. Amanda’s child could see that her mother was getting better, she was glad for that.
The friends of Amanda’s child would often ask her why her mother dropped her off and picked her up from school but she would only respond that it was because her mother loves her. They would ask why she spends so much time with her mother and she would respond that it was because she loves her mother. Amanda’s child didn’t worry about other people’s jealousy or other people’s perception of her life with her mother, because she knew they didn’t know just how much she lovesher mother and just how much her mother means to her.
The silly young girls at school, she would say, they don’t know what happens to a child when she is watching her mother dying in front of her, they don’t know how much it changes a person and they certainly didn’t know how much it changed her.
Amanda’s child now knows that death is a real possibility not just for her mother but for everyone, she wanted to build every special moment with her mother so that she would have those memories to last forever. Amanda’s child didn’t care any more what people thought she just focused on the time that she spent with her mother, which was all that mattered to her.
Amanda knew how her daughter felt so she made sure that her time with her daughter included all that she wanted to do as well, so she went with her daughter and sat through her sports games. She was there at her piano lessons and stayed the entire time, Amanda was there in the mornings when her daughter woke up and she was there at nights when her daughter fell asleep. Amanda stayed with her daughter on her weekend visits to her Aunt’s house and even though Amanda’s child and her Aunt would go out together shopping or what not, Amanda’s child always knew that her mother was right there waiting for her return and she would call and talk to her a few times while she was out.
As Amanda became stronger and stronger, she encouraged her daughter to go to the movies one day with her friends and of course she could text and call her anytime she wanted. Amanda’s child did that a few times but then she decided that she was better off at home with her mother and enjoying their time together, than listening to a bunch of teenagers ramble about boys.
No one understood where Amanda’s child was coming from, no one understood just how scared she was that she was going to lose the only person that she believed really and truly loves her and the only person that she could really trust, and no one could ever know just how terrifying that ordeal was for her. Worst of all no one understood that Amanda’s child had changed and that she understood death and the importance of life and that she recognized at such a young age that you have to make the most of the life that you have with the people that you love.
Amanda’s child knew that she could never explain it to anyone, she did what she wanted to do and that was to build her memories with her mother.