This is a collection of short poems I wrote during the difficult times in my life. Some were written as a teenager and some as an adult. This large time span led to two completely different writing styles. I hope you enjoy them both!
The following poem was written when I was about 16. I was really struggling with depression and cutting and was trying to work through a personal crisis.
I pray for someone to rescue me
from my own psychotic mind
I cannot take it any longer
Peace is what I need to find
I'm going crazy with evil thoughts
interrupting my patterned life
I can't control them any longer
They're cutting through me like a knife
What do I do when noone's there
to tell me it's all right
It is so hard all by myself
to think the thoughts and fight
The next two poems were written the day I turned 17. I was trying to find my mom. She had disappeared with my little brother and sister when I was ten. So on my birthday, I was trying to find them, but everyone I called said they didn't know. Her sisters. her parents. No one would tell me. So, at one of my lowest moments, I wrote the next 2 poems.
My ocean is dry
but the stream still runs
forming a puddle in my lap
The air is now stormy
The clear sky gone
The gusts and the waves take over
My ocean is cracking
The stream now a river
forming a pond in my lap
The air is now foggy
Everything gone black
I see no life in my ocean
The story of my tears.
sacs are brimming
brown turns green
big blurry scene
One splash and another
follow the line
carved as a statue
drawn over time
white turns pink
bright shiny glass
trying to pass
The next few poems can only be called man-hater poems. I dated some real losers and when it went south, I used poetry to work through it.
You're on my mind
every minute, everyday.
So I need to think of things
to push my heart away.
So I think I'll just remind myself
of all the crap you pulled,
All the times you hurt me,
all the lies you told.
Like how bad I felt
when your promises you broke.
Like how I took us seriously
when, to you, we were just a joke.
Like how everyday you lied to me
about things big and small
You must have thought I was stupid
but I saw through them all.
Like how I smelled perfume
that night you came to bed.
You don't wear Vanilla Fields
I don't care what you said.
Like how you'd go to your exes house
and you'd shut off your phone.
You'd be there all night
leaving me all alone.
Like how you would ignore me
when other girls were there.
You knew how much that hurt me
But you didn't seem to care.
Like how you would come over
for clean laundry and a screw.
A laundromat and a sex stop,
Is that all I was to you?
Oh, boy. Do I feel better.
I'll just read this everyday
To remind myself of all the reasons
why I should stay away.
Just the thought of you
fills me with such pity.
Because it's so sad
you'd rather pay for your tt.
Do you feel like a big man
when those girls hang all over you?
Just remember to pay them 5 bucks
And they'll do whatever you want them to.
Are you ever going to realize
to them it's just a job
They don't care if you're fat, short or ugly
or if your name is Harry, Tom or Bob.
All those girls are doing
is making a damn good living.
They know they don't need to worry about money
as long as fools like you keep on giving.
So the next time they shake their tits and *ss
The next time you think they want to f*ck
I hope you know what they're really doing
Because to them you're just a paycheck.
If I had one wish to wish
that wish would be
that fateful day one year ago
you hadn't told me you loved me
Everyday of being with you
I felt happy, sad and sorry
And every time we weren't together
I felt nothing but worry
You kept saying you didn't want to hurt me
that you'd never do it again
But that was just another lie you told me
I never mattered to you, not now, not then
All I wanted was to love someone
with a love so complete and true
But I also wanted to receive that love
I did it. Why couldn't you?
Photos and text; Â© 2008-2013 Catherine Taylor. All Rights Reserved
Reproduction in whole or in part without permission is prohibited.
I know these were probably confusing. But so is life. And so are emotions. Thank you for reading.