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droplets on pain

Updated on June 30, 2012

give me a thrill

bend to my will

as i bend to yours

forever and more

eternity stems

from the longing of men

seemingly possible

fuck...love can be awful

drowning inside

indignity...pride

what i saw i see now

i just don't know how

what is it you say

that after the day

there's me and you

its stopped feeling so true

never ending insanity

guess its my personality

that's not allowing me to feel

what you ache to be real

you reach out and i turn

its what all this has spurned

spiraling down

horrific clown

bending and breaking

world ever shaking

lifeless in breath

longing for death

discover me now

arch of my brow

see how I'm changed

and that Ive rearranged

whats going to be

coming first now for me

you let go, i gave in

impossible win

i so fucking tried

to be part of your life

i hid...i lied

your sins i denied

and so denied myself

entombed in your hell

tethered myself to you

absolutely refused

to see your truth

it aches somewhere inside

to leave you denied

but as i walk away

i let go of the heavy

and into the arms

of ridiculous charms

a love everlasting

do i deserve to be this happy

if your sitting alone

pity your throne

Ive never felt more lonely

than when i was your only

everything felt forced

silent divorce

from myself, i left me

the me you could never see

when i looked at your face

such malice...such hate

you hate that you chose me

i feel like a phony

letting you reach out

seeing you have little doubt

so arrogant, so selfish

nothing could help this

i feed from new springs

drinking in serenity

and when i look at his face

so different from yours....such grace

such beauty and truth

this path...foolproof

i know ill be loved

and that he'll let me love

not the way that's expected

my efforts uncorrected

he looks at me

and really sees

everything i am

with him i just can.

i give up and let go

arms out for the show

let the gawking begin

I'm all in

I'm walking through shadows

and skipping through meadows

over the rainbow

and i cant let you go

your forever in me

but the old you, you see

but there's such blame in your voice

as if i had a choice

in the way of my actions

with your main attraction

your only satisfaction

got a reaction

i cant help if i was cruel

unusual fool

its hurt you that Ive stayed

we've both suffered the whole way

its your fault no longer

i should have been stronger

but in spite of myself

sanity fell

you led me to believe

it was me causing the grief

said you were only reacting

to the way i was acting

such a bastard you are

to let shit get this far

i love and i hate you

in disgust i create you

as a better version

pathetic i squirm

awaiting your presence

like some ungrateful peasant

its nothing i want now

and i wonder just how

i ever turned on myself

and decided i was just as bad as you think that i am

there's no rhyme for that

honest Cheshire cat

riddled and confused

succubus muse

i fall into me now

and can finally see how

it can actually feel good

to exist

without you.

but more importantly

with him.



Comments

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    • BeyondMax profile image

      BeyondMax 

      6 years ago from Sydney, Australia

      Emotional, heartfelt journey. So expressive, wow, beautiful!

    • stormoverdestiny profile image

      stormoverdestiny 

      6 years ago from Deep within the heart of the storm

      Yes but its always great to hear you say it baby :)

    • the pink umbrella profile imageAUTHOR

      the pink umbrella 

      6 years ago from the darkened forest deep within me.

      you are amazing. have i told u that lately?

    • stormoverdestiny profile image

      stormoverdestiny 

      6 years ago from Deep within the heart of the storm

      Always remember you mightve been falling but I caught and you caught me. I'll never let go. Were the secrets nobody wants to know. Always and forever we have one another. We have us. I love you baby your work continues to be amazing no matter where you draw upon for writing. Truly amazing

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