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How Do I Not Run Away

Updated on January 8, 2020
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Just a guy trying to make sense of a life, memories, and emotions that do not...and in no particular order. The somber side of my mind.

No Vacancy

Artwork by: David Garancosky
Artwork by: David Garancosky

No Vacancy

Too many times this has happened
I run to you
Your face may change and so does your name
I see the amazing that you are...what will be
Relaying what I see
Headlong I plunged myself into love
Enamored by you...and what you say you think of me
Time passes
Slowly pulled from...what I need...what I believe
Speaking of compromise...I must now give up things
The things that help me breathe
The parts of me you said you loved
The things that drew you to me
The things that I had become
Life shaped me into this man no longer want me to be...
I plead
Understand what you are asking of me
How do you not see
If I change who I am...what you said you loved
I will no longer be that man
Good or bad...I will be incomplete
You say I've changed and this is the reason
You've drawn yourself away
It's just the changing of the season
The leaves have changed but not my face or who I am
Only how you want me to be
The sadness is always there
The things I do so I can's weight
No longer a request
I am now given an ultimatum
Do these things or we will not last
This other man will be them
So again I ask...
If I change who I am...what you said you loved
Is it me that you really wanted
I've seen the changes
I taste the difference
I hear the words
The secret places
I'm not good enough
It's the way I'm treated
I understand isn't me that is needed
I have baggage that can make me hard to love
Sometimes it is hard for me to breathe
Too often I turn my cheek
Too often you have No Vacancy
It took a long time
I nearly died trying to find me
It took a long time for me to like me
In the beginning so very simple a thing
I liked you and you liked me
I will not change
I will not placate
It can't always be my fault
Even if that is what you say
So I now have a question for you...
How can I not run away

© 2009 Nowhere Man


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