eyes of Dorian Gray

You went back into time, crawled back into the depths of darkness, where ghosts and demons are heard to tread... into the furthest recesses of your mind, you accidentally got lost and let go of the rope, and all your hope, was extinguished that night, as your light became nothing.

and everyone just watched, as day by day - you became hollow -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
you disappeared behind the closet of a one way mirror,
cracked from the inside... you warred against the wisdom from coins that quoted Shakespeare from the bottom of ancient wishing wells

You said you'd be right back... said you forgot something...

You said, 'Just wait right here, it's only a nightmare'

but you never returned...

not the way you were

or remember

you mentioned lost love on chapped lips but your diary read Dante's Inferno

the edges were all fiery crisp

just like the tone of your voice

changed

your smile just faded with dusk; became old and worn, like an old leather book of torn pages and dirty manuscripts, missing words - wrinkled pages

and your laughter never crawled from the empty shadow spaces

your feigned greetings echoed off the slamming - from dead bolted doors, trapped behind the latching, locked behind an old rusty shack

the spark in your voice

the grace that flowed from your spring

your being

and all the wildfires that emanated from your glances

just became empty words

said you were too tired to dance

then you just stopped

your stars dropped

everything

everything

stopped

it was a picture

an old black and white photo that turned your face to apocalyptic winter...

alone,

in the darkness

you heard every drop from courage

fall into pools that couldn't warm your frost bitten feet.

you bit your lips then bit your tongue in two

but your voice became anemic

your screams lay lifeless and silent as your lungs poured out copper bells that couldn't ring

and through the silence you could hear the tearing of a souls ripping and bleeding

and as the captured memory fell in slow motion and hit the ground, it reminded you of flying a kite... against a tornado... no amount of running would lift it back into the stratosphere

your spirit tumbled

stumbled

crumbled

and you watched in horror, as your inner child; Died... right there in front of you

all that you held true

Fell

it fell through your fingertips... and the whole world was watching

you held it in your hands...

you didn't mean for it to fall

you held tightly
grasped in your vice like grip... but then it slipped,
and all you could do was watch, as it shattered into a million tiny pieces and blew as crematory ashes into the southern Australian winds

and all you could do, was stare at the emptiness before you

It fell through your paper cuts, band aids, and cold handshakes

through the ashes of memories burned and buried

Your hopes became dry and lifeless, sinking in cement

Your pride became a baby and wept

and then the book of Revelation came, as your elegance became wisps of smoke, and you just stood there, and waited for a savior to return; as your whole world began to quake, then crashed and stopped spinning

Your Dorian Gray eyes became wilted

your petals fell like rain

and your pulse froze in the naked pain

your heart stopped making tears that counted

and suddenly without need of warning, Every ounce of faith became less than water and broke

every dream became stillborn; delivered by the reapers own hand

and all the hope you had captured and held dear

just bled into the background of charcoal screams

smears of yourself

you just drifted away

and now it's a little colder these days

a lot darker these days

lonely

every day

lost

trapped between then and now

all the broken pieces of your heart, that you had glued together over the years with blood sweat and tears

just SHATTERED at your feet

you held onto those pieces for so long, you held onto them with your LIFE

and it all just SLIPPED AWAY, one by one

as all the bricks in the wall came undone

the world peeked into your SECRETS

then kicked down the door and caught you MASTURBATING

LIFE gagged you down, then forced you to deal a hand of strip poker

you whispered truth, but it SCREAMED Dare

and you stood there

naked

as the whole world laughed

started gasping for air; reaching for something that was not there

and you became a statue at the park square

holding stains of red in the palm of your hands

you became a statue

you stood there

just stared

at your empty hands, stained in red

so you hid

under the covers of deprivation

began starving yourself

became delusional

said your dreams were prophecy

but all the fortune cookies read "Welcome to hell" written in your own calligraphy

and you stayed there

drowning in the past

PARANOIA became your twin

you SAID you can't TRUST anyone anymore, with voice lowered and head down

told yourself LIES that chained you down

you became so numb
you couldn't even feel your own hands
WRAPPED around your throat

you slipped between THE SHADOWS and the bruising

and everything ugly and BITTER you held onto

LIKE a magnet you couldn't let it go

and soon you forgot to struggle

you stopped breathing, went into a coma

the world wanted to put you to sleep

said you were suffering

and that's when I heard you

I found you

on your knees

begging

please

barely alive and wanting to die

that was the day I first saw you

kissed you

said I LOVE YOU

That was the day I cried all over you and washed you in waves of broken tears

the first day I held you in my arms and died

I didn't know you were choking, and you almost pulled me down under

but I caught my breath and held onto a rock, named it truth

put my mouth upon yours and began breathing

massaged your heart until it became strong

Put you on my back and began swimming

I opened your eyes and gave you everything I had

The heat from the crimson sky brought sunshine highlights running through your hair

You looked into the mirror and thought you were dreaming

I took your hands away from your throat and placed them around my heart

gently removed the tourniquet you had twisted around the edges of your mind...

and the blood returned to your face as did the light

Your colors of red returned, I taught you of beauty

you told me of love

We taught wisdom how to dance...

our words became softer with peace, our breaths became alive and our eyes were set on fire...

You saw the ending... I saw the beginning; and between the two of us
we skipped past the chapters of foreplay; found an empty page and began writing a new story ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I saw you, when you fell from your nest

gave you love and sang familiar poems; reminding you of home

I wrote the finest poetry upon your heart

fed you from the start

kept you warm and kept you safe

soon all your wounds began to heal

and all your fears and written doubts, were washed away by tears of joy

and then, your angel wings sprouted

So now, my love, I'm not saying goodbye

I'm saying Be free

and

F

L

Y