Why Some People Forget to Attend Church Services
People have doubts. Amidst the struggle and suffering in life, other people think that going to church was a big lie. I proved it because I believed that the church of all denominations was securing money but not securing spirits. I could tell my story when I was invited to attend a church gathering in one of my acquaintances in college. At first, I was doubted if I could go with her because I was not confident to be in the church. I had a lot of bad memories when I entered into the church. I was numerous kinds of people who were gossipers, liars, cheaters, drinkers, and who pretended to be God’s servants. For me, they are not God’s servants because they exist fooling around millions of people in order to gain money. They came to establish their denominations because they wanted to consumer the fears of those innocent people who searched for heavens as told by God’s promises. I am saying this because I am not devoted to attend worships or listen to homilies. I lost my interests in attending church because the people around especially at the church were sinners. However, I got in because I wanted to give my acquaintance one time to be with her for the church.
In the middle of the homily, I was just sitting there on my seat waiting for the pastor to end his preach. It was dull for me since I was not listening properly. I was just pretending to listen, but I did not make any move that could destroy the concentration of the others who worship God. However, something brought my attention. The pastor was yelling, shouting, and screaming every time he read verses and chapters in the bible. I wondered why he did it when it was fine to read it since the microphone was working. Every time the pastor read and shouted, it seemed that his voice irritated me and drill my eardrum. He kept on shouting and screaming about the word of God. He said that God punishes the sinners and all forms of evil-doers. He mentioned about prostitutes, heavy drinkers, bank robbers, liars, murderers, cheaters, and those people who hurt other people. However, he added that homosexuals were cursed and were most evil-doers who spread demons over the world. Upon reading it, he frowned in agony, shouted in rage, and scream by condemnation that homosexuals could never go to heaven. While I was on my seat, I was wondering why he only shouted, yelled, and screamed he mentioned the term homosexual. For him, homosexuals are evil-doers and cursed. The pastor added that a family was built on curse and misfortune if homosexuals exist in it. He further stressed that homosexuals should never exist and he said that they should be treated because they were sick and ill. He also pointed out that homosexuals should never go to church because the church is for the good person. Such intensifying remarks and negative comments were against a person. However, the church reached its limit, and it humiliated homosexuals. He judges homosexuals that homosexuals are perpetrators of sins and they never do any good in life but ruins and destructions. Upon hearing these remarks, I felt like I was being ripped out and torn apart. I did not know what to do, and I was heart-broken. If the pastor was right that I was a curse and that I was supposed to die, I would question my life why I was created and existed in this world.
In the end, I was wrong with my decision when I agreed to attend to the worships. I was not supposed to be there, and I should be hiding myself to the place where I only stayed. I lived alone because my parents and siblings did not consider my existence. I am thirty-five years old, and I am sick of listening to salvation and heaven. For me, salvation and heaven are effectively used by many people to lie and fool other people. This time I should never be fooled. When that pastor said that homosexuals are sinners and evil-doers, I could never imagine how God came down to earth and possessed this pastor to tell me that I was born with defects. Using the bible and its verses, God only judges the sinners and the people. Why does the pastor declare his judgement to all homosexuals? If God created people by his own image, would He be poetic and figurative to pronounce that truth. If God was truly the creator of all creations, did He not create the mongoloids, imbecile, paranoid, autistic, homosexuals, heterosexuals, hermaphrodites? If He did create them, does God fail in His plans? If He did not create these creations, does not bible say that Lucifer created man in his own image?
The bible and the Quran have a lot of twisted and inconsistent statements, and I could not tell if that is true. For me, those are pieces of literature that some people successfully digested its deepest sense, but lost towards the end. They are using this to control, command, and manipulate people to believe what they wish them to believe. Now, I liberate myself from that manipulation and self-confinement. After liberating myself, I saw my potential, and I worked hard enough to send money to my parents and siblings even if they abandoned. I did not do it to prove that they were wrong about that I was not a curse. I did help them because I believed that it was the best thing to do. My heart told me to do the right thing. It was not the church that taught me good values and morality. What the church and religious people taught me was to put grudge against people and to discriminate other people. The church taught me to reject other people and judge them. In the deepest sense of the world, I stood for the right, and I should follow my heart and my mind to do the right thing.