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Just A Few Hopfully Funny Poems

Updated on June 22, 2014

My Poems

The aim of this lens is just to have a little fun with poetry, as it can be used in so many lights I thought I would use it in a lighter form. This lens should give a little chuckle now and then. Hope you enjoy then lens, Im thinking of adding some more to this any suggestions of topic welcome.


Relationships Poems

We Will Go Together

Where do you think your going when we've being together this long,

You need to stay a little longer you need to be more strong.

Don't think you can just leave me now with nothing more to say,

or just lie there in your restful sleep and leave me here this way.

We said we would go together but its just like you to try and cheat,

even in death you think it's a race you need to beat.

So you didn't want to do the washing up but this is a little extreme,

it reminds me of the time you broke your arm so you wouldn't have to use the washing machine.

Well time is up and the game is over because i've dialled 999,

now your in the hospital and they're saying your be fine.

Don't you look at me that way i've told you once before,

when we go we will go together so don't make me tell this you once more.

The Snack

I've just came back form work after a hard and heavy day,

my belly starts its rumbling give me food it's trying to say.

I look around the kitchen to find a juicy snack,

oh we have some bread il have some toast and snack on that.

I get it all ready with a mountain of cheese melted on top,

I'm about to put it in my mouth then i hear a noise its the wife she's back.

I see her giving me evil eyes i feel them burning through my skin,

did you make me some toast she asks through her gritted teeth and grin.

I didn't think you wanted any because you never really do,

im watching my carbs you always say but never follow through.

I see the anger start to boil inside i should of said nothing and all would of being fine,

now i find my self ducking and diving il just keep quiet next time.

I just about avoid the pan thats hurdling at my head,

by the way your sleeping on the couch tonight she yells because your not coming in the bed.


General Poems


I'm a very clumsy person who's prone to trips and falls,

I once hit my head of a metal stair case and vibrated all the stairs yes all.

I once knocked over a whole drink on some one who had just got out the shower,

I must say they were ragging as they had just being in there for an hour.

I'm always knocking over my tea and burning my self and others,

iv'e seen the way my family look at me thinking it safer to lock her in the cupboard.

So i knock and break things now and then it really can't be helped,

but avoid me if you see me in the street its better for your health.

I know when we are in the house and from me they all sit a mile apart,

it's not because they don't like me but because they have there own safety at heart.

When i light some candles they quickly blow them out,

i hear them saying who let her light them she will burn this house down to the ground.

Iv'e being looking on the internet and there's really not a cure,

if your clumsy then your clumsy and will be forever more.


Come on you get out of bed,

you can't lazy round when you've got school instead.

But mommy i'm telling you i just don't feel well,

don't send me to school when i'm feeling like hell.

Well you do look a little pasty just stay there and rest,

but tomorrow your back there or you will miss you're test.

Off down the stairs she goes as i hear then creak and scream,

it was worth sticking my head in that fridge for an hour it seems.

Quiet and carefully i turn my playstation on,

it's time for call of duty now mother has gone.

I load up my game and get ready to play,

but my mother's not stupid she never went away.

she went down the stairs all creaky and fast,

then just like a ninja she worked her way back.

I get smacked round the head I knew you were lying,

im your mom i'm not stupid i know when your'e lying.

Besides i saw the icicles that had formed on your face,

so the evidences was present and now your stupid and late.

Get off that game and get ready for school,

tonight when you return home you will be punished you fool.


Baby Sitting

Awwh look her she'e small and cute and couldn't hurt a fly,

with such a little mushy face so sweet it brings a tear to my eye.

Il baby sit don't you worry how much trouble could she be,

well thats what i thought 4 hours ago but now the truth i see.

At first she was quiet and sleeping safe and sound,

i sit down on the couch for the day to settle down.

I hear her crying it's getting loud i pick her up to see,

out her mouth comes a pile of puke it greatly covers me.

I take a deep breath to calm my self but useless i found it to be,

because now theres a smell that's in my nose and i know its from the nappy.

Now she's pulling on my hair and her grasp so tight it won't let go,

why i said id baby sit i really just don't know.

Finally the parents are back and now its time to go,

i run out the door all so fast i forgot to give them my bill.

I'm never going back there i can't because she lives there,

i bet shes in her bed still playing with bits of my hair.


Why Not Have A Go

Anyone can write a poem,

it's easy enough to do.

Now go and get your laptop,

and pop one on squidoo.

Go on why not.......

Get Your Self In To Poems

Enjoy poems then you might want to get some your self or may like other kinds of poetry.


A chance to find out what you think and prefer.

Do you like serious poetry of slightly funny?

See results

Just a place to say what you think or if you enjoyed what you read thanks.

Give Your Comments Here

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    • profile image

      bloggit 4 years ago

      great poems :)

    • squidingaround profile image

      squidingaround 4 years ago

      @Titia: thank yuo for the like im glad you enjoyed them.

    • Titia profile image

      Titia Geertman 4 years ago from Waterlandkerkje - The Netherlands

      I like your poems, their simplicity and wit.