I remember you saying you owe me but that’s alright
Because everything your putting me through your gonna feel it twice.
I remember the first day we met
Couldn’t believe I found a person like you yet,
you were just a nightmare that hasn’t been dreamt.
I remember all the times I called and you didn’t answer
Was it too much to ask I just wanted to feel happier
I remember the first time you called me a derogatory name
Then I knew I wasn’t special your love was just in vain
Now remember this as I walk away
Remember all my love because you lost it today
Remember when I said “When you’re happy I’m happy to.
If you’re suffering I'm suffering with you”
Because no one else is gonna say the same
No one will tolerate what I did
So enjoy this loving now cuz it something your gonna miss
I hope you remember cuz I sure as hell won’t forget.
In this moment.
In this moment I despise you.
Can’t stand you for what you make me go through.
Call me white trash
But what you failed to realize; I got more class
Then you hold in the palm of your hand
Maybe you should take some lessons on how to be a real man
Instead of being a wimp.
You wont get to kiss theses Lips.
You wont get to touch my hair
I don’t care
At first I felt sympathy
you said she didn’t want to marry you, but that was just your sob story
to get at me
In this moment I really think your whack
Curse me out then come back
Don’t understand why I'm not going to change
And neither are you
Why do we constantly have to go through this déjà vu
Who are you
In this moment you are no one to me
Everyone is against us. So It's up to me and you to make them look
Love each other like we never had
Yeah we got problems
But we can solve them
Yeah we may not see each other every day
But when we do It's like a breath of fresh air on our face
You’re the love of my life
And nothing about that will change
And yeah there are moments when I wanna wrap my hand around your
Days I don’t see you I try not to think of you but I cant forget
I'm pretty sure there are moments when you feel the same
You wanna hold me get close to me but you save it for another day
And it makes me wanna scream
But then I think
There against us they don’t wish us well
They don’t wanna see heaven they rather see hell
So let’s give them hell
Sooner rather than later they’ll see no one can rupture our love spell
If you could see me now.
Did you know that when I woke up today.
I had a smile on my face.
No this time I did not wake up with baggy eyes.
No I didn’t feel shattered inside.
It felt so good.
If only you can see me now I wish you could.
Did you know that when I walked down the street
Someone smiled at me.
No this time I did not hang my head low.
No I did walk around knowing where to go.
It felt so good if only you can see me now. I wish you could.
I’m living my days better now that your gone
I feel more confident now that I have moved on.
I feel so better and I look so good.
If only you can see me now yeah you wish you could.
Validation it only takes a few words.
Don’t add insult to injury. Don’t be blind to her hurt.
If she doesn’t get it from you, there will be those who pretend.
That all they want is to give her love but just wind up messing with her
If she feels bad about her self, just imagine what its like to hear it from
You’ll kick her to the ground
Beat her down
And wipe your hands when you are through.
Or is it that you insult her to get her to do what you want.
That’s kind of selfish don’t you think.
Why is it that you can’t support her in what she wants?
Don’t you know she has dreams?
All it takes are a few encouraging words
Don’t make her feel less than dirt.
Just keep in mind if you don’t they’ll be dose who pretend.
Just keep in mind that all she wants to do is love again.
These are the songs.
There’s these songs’ running through my head.
“You should let me love you” by Mario yup that’s what he said.
“Let me give you everything you want and need”.
Boy can I relate to this song I just wanna make him happy,
But you know what they say.
“I can’t make you love me if you don’t, and you can’t make your heart
feel something it won’t”.
Oh my god isn’t that a song by Bonnie Ratite.
Yup It's just “Another sad love song” what can I say.
“Another sad love song” by Toni Braxton
What has happened?
I feel like “I’m going down”
Am I “Dangerously in love”?
Why are these songs stuck in my head?
All my thoughts are on you. Yup that’s what I said!
What is the path to your heart?
Show me the way. Is there something I could do is there something I
You need love so do I.
let me hold you when you cry.
Let me wipe tears that fall from your cheek.
Let me be your strength when you are week.
Let me give you everything.
When you feel you have nothing.
Just let me be. The one you need.
Because I know you’re all I ever wanted.
What is the cure for a broken heart?
How do you mend a distraught soul?
How do you end this agony?
What is the way not to loose control?
How do I forget about your smile?
Why can’t I stop picturing you in my embrace?
Just the thought of your existence brings me back to that place.
I need to forget it’s not like you were good for me any way.
Still I can’t function if I can’t see you another day.
The weight of the world is on top of my shoulders.
But still who will hold her.
Who can she go to when she wants to break down and cry?
Who will understand that life is not worth living until he knows he makes
her feel alive?
Don’t want to be destroyed.
Pain and anguish I wanna avoid.
No exception to the rule.
I should have known what type of person you were, but at least it has
opened up my eyes.
It has made me a better person but you have reached your demise.
There’s no surprise.
That as soon as I did not cave in to your request
Just like that.
My heart aches for you my eyes cried for you,
but you have denied both.
And all though it has ended I still hold on to that last strand of hope.
Hope to regain sanity hope to regain my breath.
And to once again have that piece of my broken soul that you have
So full of it.
I wanna say you’re full of shit, but got to keep this poem clean.
So then I’ll just say you’re full of it…. Know what I mean.
Every word you spit
is full of sh..
see there I go again cussing.
The very though of you has me fussing.
Why I honestly wish I knew.
I told myself 1,000 times I'm over you.
and believe it or not It's true,
but for some reason you feel the need
all in my face acting like I'm the one you need.
When in reality all you need
is what goes on between the sheets.
But see I don’t need just 3 minutes and I’m being polite.
You couldn’t make me quiver or shiver even if you had the whole night.
You didn’t want me as your girl isn’t that what you said.
Believe it or not there’s a man out there more interested in just
You know what let me not get vulgar gotta keep this poem clean.
So then I’ll just say you’re full of it…. Know what I mean
Still full of shit.
Not to long ago I didn’t want to get vulgar. I wanted to keep this poem
But fuck it I’m a throw caution to the wind know what I mean.
Didn’t think you were like him but your just the same.
You had added more drama to this bullshit game.
Fuck what you feel It's all about me.
Don’t give a fuck what you feel don’t care if your unhappy
I wanna give you a chance.
But fuck it I'm saving my time for a real man.
Fuck it I'm not gonna worship the ground you stand on.
When I fall I'm not gonna look for you to land on.
This is coming to an end you reached your demise.
No longer do I wanna hear your fucking cries.
Of how you desire
How you supposedly love the way we make love,
When you just wanna get off.
Won’t be wishing on any fucking stars for you to return.
Won’t keep my fingers crossed for you to walk through my door. Wont
be wish and hoping and praying I'm the one you adore.
You could go fuck someone else as a matter of fact go fuck yourself.
I DON’T NEED YOU plain and simple.
You can’t handle my mental.
I use to look in the mirror and think maybe I'm not pretty enough.
I use to think to myself maybe I'm just not what he wants.
And then I use to think to myself what is the reason?
There is no reason for you to act this way.
Gave you everything you wanted all you had to do was say.
I followed your word like it was gospel.
Yes you know it I can’t live with out you.
So you take that information and use it to your advantage.
But fail to see that It's to my disadvantage.
Just because you know does that give you the reason to play me?
Just because you know does that give you the reason not to stay with
I think it’s time you make a better excuse.
If not I’ll just learn to live with out you.
A letter to my muse.
This is a letter to my muse. Thank you for you inspires.
A love that I experienced took me higher.
It was you who broke my heart, but made me feel love.
It was you who allowed my pen to glide across the page with words of
If it weren’t for all these things.
My words would never have any meaning.
Thank you on one hand you gave my heart joy
On the other hand you broke my soul.
Nights I have found myself awake while others slept.
Days I found on my mind you were kept.
Maybe my words can help others going through the same situation.
When love has taken the vacancy of your heart it seems that you can’t
with hold from all the aching.
Inside a locked door and swallowed the key.
No chances to escape the thoughts in your head are locked for eternity.
I write this letter to you. Fold it up place it in an envelope.
Sealed with a stamp but the truth is there’s no address to where it
So I keep it close
And one day I’ll have the courage to declare.
You’re the one I truly care.
It must be love.
I’m not into diamonds I don’t need pearls.
Don’t need anything baby I just want to be your girl.
No need to go to fancy restaurants, don’t need flowers or candy.
All I want is you baby you make me so happy.
It must be love “wow” that’s all I can say.
It’s as if I stood in front of heavenly gates.
When you smile when you laugh, you add water to my empty glass.
No one needs to know no one needs to comprehend
We could go around pretending like were “just friends”.
But to me there is no distress.
I feel so blessed.
To be bathed in your presence.
Immersed in your soul.
Wrapped up I can’t let go.
Is what I’ve been dealing.
It must be love those are the perfect words to describe.
What I feel inside it shines.
I don’t need expensive gifts not interested in your finance.
Darling all I need is you what I want is romance.
You may think I have stupid written across my face
But don’t let the baby face fool you
I know more than you think I do.
I might act stupid just to keep you on your toes.
You could go ahead and make your plan
While you’re doing that I’m finding a way to attack.
I might say things that are stupid so you won’t know what I’m really
You might see an angel through my demeanor.
You think you could make the strong become weaker.
But the strong become stronger.
Your game is coming to an end I won’t be fooled any longer.
You may think I have a t-shirt with the word stupid written on it.
But you’re the one who’s falling into my trap.
You come two steps forward but I push you three steps back.
You may think I stand here felling stupid, but I’m only standing my
You might think I am deaf I can’t hear a single thing
You think you got the best of me but its only a dream.
So dream the night away because its all in your head.
You’re the one who is stupid because you believed everything I said.
Don’t let me settle for less.
Because what I should settle for is the best.
It’s so easy for some to react.
I can’t move forward if I’m being pushed back.
Negative comments are thrown out in the air.
Not realizing your hurting the ones you supposedly care.
How can I achieve my dream.
If a road block is placed in front of my face.
How can I hold my head up if I’m being put down.
Constantly being scolded and viewed with a frown.
I try to hold on to my soul.
Trying to be recover from being buried within this deep whole
Climbing my way out looking for the light at the end of the tunnel.
We walk we run and sometimes stumble.
Every time I try it seems like all I do is fail.
My biggest dream is to one day prevail.
But when that day arrives we strive just to stay alive never let it die
never cry take a deep breath but never sigh.
My biggest dream is oh so sweet oh so fresh.
To one day achieve bliss complete happiness.
I shouldn’t settle for less.
I should settle for the best.
So when I need words of encouragement you see.
You should stand by my side and push me.
A package that can be deceiving.
A lie you told that can be believing.
Information that was misleading.
Your love is sugarcoated you wanted me to see things that are beautiful
when things are only painted.
Things that were once pure are now tainted.
Your not as real as I thought you were.
You placed a beautiful canvas in front of my face but all I see now is a
You made it look like you were the victim and I a foe.
I was a rose emerging from the ground but you woulSdn’t let me grow.
You stomped on my petals my stem cut in half.
No longer will the sunshine on me being placed behind tinted glass.
Desiccated and forsaken.
For you my love was never worth taking.
It was only a prize possession something you wore on your sleeve.
To feed your ego destroy my self-esteem.
You were only thrilled when I was in agony.
The only time you were miserable was when I was happy.
Im not sorry to say.
Misery is what your gonna feel each and every day.
Mother worries she stands afraid.
She hopes and prays to never see that day.
When in her heart enters fright.
But im here to say hes alright.
Your son is doing something good.
You think he might be killed because he’s out in the woods.
Everyday you watch the news.
Everyday you feel so blue.
Sometimes you cant sleep at night
But here I write
God is on his shoulders God will see him through.
He’protect your son so he can come home to you.
Eyes that were once beaming with pride are now filled with tears.
Words of encouragemnets are now prayers full of tears.
Again I write he’s alright.
You should not worry keep your mind straight.
Your love and dedication im sure he’ll appreciate.
You sacrifice more than others would.
You did more than others could.
But don’t worry don’t fright.
Im sure he’s alright.
Another lesson on life and love.
It happened again but this time I m not surprised.
It’s a reoccurring event in my life.
Being used and getting nothing in return.
My heart wants to heal but somehow ends up getting burned.
How can I prevent this ache?
When I allow these mistakes.
You put me on a emotional rollercoaster.
Up and down, down and up.
Running in to you just seemed to be my luck.
But it’s a rude awakening.
Of what’s real and what’s worth taking.
I learned how to read between the lines.
I know how to spot a phony.
Rhearse lines of love but it was all baloney.
Changes to satisfy others of what is needed and what is craved.
I want to be brave, I want to change.
But for me and me only.
Life is funny because I thought you were out of the ordinary.
But something was extraordinary.
You were no different from the rest.
All of your transgressions were hidden beneath your chest.
And you thought love would blind me
But there’s more to what the eyes can see.
I finally have closure there’s nothing else to think of.
This is my last composition about a lesson on life and love .
Beauty is she; Beauty am I
Beauty is she beauty am I.
Does she qualify as beauty because of the mascara on her eyes.
The shadow on her lids.
The color on her lips.
The powder press on her cheek.
Her garment from head to feet.
Beauty is she beauty am I.
Do I qualify as beauty even with these tears in my eyes.
Plain and no color to enhance my face.
Jeans and t-shirt have no grace.
Don’t wanna be mold into something ill never be.
Long flowing gowns stilettos its just not me.
You look at her and see a piece of art.
Beauty outside but what does she have in her heart.
You’ll look at me but I won’t stand out from the crowd.
I’m blending in with those who are around.
Accept me for me and my imperfections.
I’m human even I have to learn my lessons.
Not exactly cover girl material not exactly runway type.
Not even a media whore not one to create hype
My beauty speaks on its on measure
Not in a 36 24 36 kind of way
Who’s to blame?
What will it take for you to look at me?
Do I have to scream bloody murder and I cant breathe?
Will my pain finally make you admit, I’m the one whom you want to be
What do I have to do for you to hear me?
Do I have to scream bloody murder and I cant breathe?
Will my hurt make you confess I’m not the one who had made this
mess? Its your fault that’s right… Your…. Fault.
For being so damn adorable your eyes had me locked your touch made
my heart beat stopped dropped my soul has touched the ground.
When ever your around.
Who’s to blame for driving me insane.
Take one look in the mirror and you’ll find the answer because before
you I was happier
Ignorance is bliss
Don’t take my kindness for weakness
This is my frustration so I'm speaking
On all those that come to me with an extended hand
But constantly walk away when I’m in need
What’s the point in being there for you when your not there for me
My kindness is mistaken for lack of education
People look at me a think I’m blind to the truth
But the truth of the truth is I walk around ignorant my mind is not easy
The way I live my life may not be how you think it should be but I live
I keep to myself and I’m happy living that way.
Day to day I walk this earth I know I was born alone and will die alone
but I’m not hurt.
I just keep moving and never look back.
I try my best to look at the things I have instead of the things I don’t
Sometimes all we want in this life time is to be loved.
So I live in bliss ignorant but aware
Stone cold but just seem to care
So don’t take my kindness for weakness.
You may not like what I have to say but this is my frustration so I’m
Exactly what you are.
Hurt and pain will only let you go as far as you let it go.
Now that I have let you go I have recaptured my soul.
Things are easier I can finally breathe.
No longer do I have to hold in my stomach I can finally be me.
No need to pretend there are plenty of other men.
Do you hear me men not boys.
Cause that’s all you were a cheap piece of toy.
Only for thrills shits and giggles.
I don’t wanna be with you
I’m telling you exactly what you are
Conniving lying with out a heart
I’m telling you exactly how it’s going down
You always pretended like you want to be around.
Begging and pleading for you to spend time with me.
But all along you were playing games with my mind just to see
How long would it take me to break down you would love to see me
So you can throw in my face I live my life with nothing but hate.
Its hard to be happy with out feeling love its hard to put a smile on my
face when sadness is all I could think of.
If you cant deal with the animosity with all anger you are the one to
You live your life with out being able to love that’s insane.
No matter how hard you try or pretend there are no scar I have to let
you know how it is and tell you exactly who you are
You make me feel (beautiful)
I could cry a million tears
And just with your words you know how to wipe them away
I could lose the will to live
And just with your smile it makes me wanna see another day
Who you are and the way you are
Makes me feel beautiful from the inside out
I could pull out my hair from all my frustration
And your embrace pulls me into a safe haven
I could scream till I lose my voice
And just your comforting words fill the void
That’s just who you are and the way you are
You make me feel beautiful on my worst days
You make me feel special on my better days
When I look wrecked
You say I look the best
When I feel like I lost hope you shine a light.
When I loose the will to win you give me a reason to fight
Who you are and the way you are
Makes me feel beautiful from the inside out
What you have done for my life no one will understand
But to tell the truth I really don’t care.
You were there through it all you did more than usual.
If I could describe you in one word it would be BEAUTIFUL.
Not fazed by the things you do.
Or the pain you put me through
Won’t let myself be damaged
I can manage
To move on and find what I deserve
Won’t be fazed by the hurt
You taught me a valuable lesson I’m thankful for you’re preaching
I’m grateful for the memories and your teaching
I could waist my life time holding a grudge
But I opted for sanity.
I could be the type to close my heart trust no one but me.
That’s not who I am
Who I am won’t let a person like you be destroyed
Who I am will not let others pay for your mistake
Who I am will find the way to fill the void.
Who I am will don’t let the little things make me break.
Not fazed by the pain
There will be a rainbow after every rain
There will be sunshine after every storm
There will be brighter skies after dark clouds
I will no longer feel ache I will no longer feel hurt.
I know who I am I know my worth
You’ve been acting up.
Why pretend to be tough
You know you’ve been acting up
Not giving me what I deserve
And I wont even pretend I'm not hurt
I'm not gonna pretend to find love else where
You told me that you cared
But it was just a pick up line
You told me you were mine
I even said I was yours
Who’s worse you being a jerk
Or me taking you back
You’ll say I'm blowing it out of proportion
But lets look at the fact
Do you call me no
Do you date me no
Do you aggravate me yes
Do you play me yes
So why are you acting up
I really want to know
If you don’t love me
Let me go
They get mad.
When we do what you do you have the nerve to get upset.
Don’t get mad cuz what y’all do we do best.
We know who to break hearts.
We know how to make up a good lie.
We know how to manipulate.
We know how to make you cry.
Then y’all have the nerve to get upset.
Don’t start something you can’t finish
Because what y’all do we do best
Just when you though we were playing the good girl role
Here I am masking the fact that I can also be a ho
Just when you though we always have your back
That’s when I scheme on ways to attack
Just when you though we always stand by your side and never disappear
That’s when I'm living my own life and never coming back here
We learned from the best
You should have never ever created this monster now your mind can
Your mind will always wonder
You’ll always have that hunger.
Should have appreciate what you had
So there’s no reason to be mad
From a distance I saw your face.
My heart raced.
To the rhythm of your beat to the rhythm of your pace.
I could not avoid.
Made my knees go weaker.
Nothing compared to the sound of your voice.
Fills my void.
Don’t even get me started.
When my hands touched your face clouds parted.
Basically I love you but I cant have you.
Basically you love me but wont admit.
Thinking out situation would be complicated that’s bullshit
You made it complicated.
But I wont act frustrated.
Ill move on to some one who wont be afraid to say
I love you be a part of my life.
So basically I no longer have to hear your lies.
Now or Never.`
Never had I loved someone the way I love you.
An your too blind to recognize.
The love that you search for so long is right in front of your eyes.
Don’t deny it don’t pretend.
That I’m not in front of you thinking im dead.
Im alive and loving each minute with you.
I don’t read minds how am I supposed to know what you go through.
If you tell me what you need ill do what I can to provide.
When others leave I’ll be the only one by your side.
For me its now or never that’s all you have to say.
If you want me here this is were ill be if not ill just go another way
Yes I know what you’re talking about. Yes I do remember.
You just had to show me that piece of paper written in bold letters.
I.O.U. but why should I owe you anything we are through.
You never really gave me anything so why are you rubbing it in my
You made so many promises but they never took place.
You made all these promises you knew you couldn’t keep.
You’ll say what you think I wanna hear just so you won’t hear me
Don’t try and take credit for “making” the woman you see in front of
I was the one who made the sacrifice and you knew I grew.
Don’t think of yourself as my savior don’t think of your self as the
You were never part of my plan.
Everything I’ve accomplished I’ve don’t with my own two hands.
Nothing was ever handed on a silver platter I was never fed with a
You said you’ve have had your fair share in making who I am that that
you should receive it soon.
One thing I learned is be careful what you ask for.
Karma could soon be knocking at your door.
She doesn’t ask trust me she will take.
How you treat others will soon be your fate
So when you feel the need to extend your hand and linger I got
something better, a finger.
Off my game.
Don’t get too excited don’t think for one second I let you get to me.
Because I acted so differently
Just for a minute I wasn’t thinking.
So keep dreaming
I don’t let anything get to me
Y’all are a joke
You were the one speaking and my silence spoke
I played my position I held my ground
So go ahead and laugh out loud
Go ahead and say what you feel
You honestly don’t know what it is to keep it real
No she’s not my friend no we don’t converse
You two love to roll around in dirt
And pretend as if your body is clean
And here’s the thing
Between her and I was created by you.
She didn’t like seeing us speak so you would bend the truth.
Different words to her not the same to me.
You loved watching this drama unfold like it was on TV
You wanted to go and see who would go to war for your love
Who would throw in the white flag?
See your love is not that special it’s something I already had
So she can have my leftovers it’s just not the same
If you two think you’re the ones who’s playing me I’m the one who
knows how to play the game
Tears are for clowns
Look at her crying there she goes
Haven’t you spotted the red dot on her nose?
Tears are for clown no one wants to be around
When the tears are falling to the ground
No one wants to hug her no one wants to soothe
Seems like people cringe any time she moves
She must be crazy look at her eyes
Don’t make any sudden movement unless you want a surprise.
Lock her up she must hear voices in her head
She speaks her mind on anything that is said.
She’s no longer that chubby little girl
Who would stand and nod her head at every word.
No longer a yes ma’am
She must be must be evil she must be mad
There’s a sudden need to protect the things she love because there’s no
longer a convenience.
So it seems like everyone keeps their distance.
Then in an instant it’s almost like it never happen.
Some cycles need to shatter
It doesn’t matter blood is not thinker than water
Sooner or later it can be diluted it can be slaughtered
A clown smiles on the outside while dying on the inside just hiding the
Some will realize theres always sunshine after the rain
So keep on smiling and smile even more don’t let anyone bring you
If people wanna see you cry just tell them tears are clowns
You can call her your girl as much as you want.
But from what I see there’s no love there’s no trust.
How do I know, I'm the one you desire.
What you feel for me is lust.
That’s alright I desire the same thing.
I'm not looking for a ring on my left hand.
Won’t be walking around like you’re my man,
More like a friend with benefits.
You could think what you want but he’s not the one I have to be with.
You could say what you please.
But if it moves me, at any time I can leave
I’m not obligated he is not someone I have to maintain.
I don’t have to put up with his bull I won’t have to put up with his
I’m pretty sure you try to convince your self more than you can convince
That there will be pleasant times that you two can live happily.
But why go threw all that agony for just a little pleasure.
If you plant a few seeds won’t mean he’ll stay forever,
And if he does doesn’t mean hell be loyal.
He’s like milk eventually it will get rotten it will spoil.
He spreads himself so thin
not a woman on earth who won’t brag about being where he has been.
You’ll cry your self asleep just hoping tomorrow will be a different day.
Here’s the difference between you and I, I’m the one who’s smart
enough to walk away.
And the winner is……….. Not you.
Go ahead and walk around calling him your boo.
The one who has gained the most is…………. Not you.
I’m not constantly asking myself
What is he doing? Where is he at
Who is he with? When will he be back?
No that’s not me.
I’m not the one supporting him putting a roof over his head
Food in his belly Clothes on his back those are the things you said
You take pride in taking care of someone who won’t do for himself.
To him you’re nothing but a cheap doll that’s left on the shelf.
Not a man almost like a child.
The schemes and plans he creates all in your face while he smiles.
The empty promises he makes just so he can have a place to lay his
Cant trust every word he has said
Who knows maybe his love is real maybe his words are sincere
No need to fear
You may be able to handle that life.
But you really must understand you really haven’t won the grand prize.