Separated Beyond Equals, a Literary Biopic
On The Subject of Thought
Chosen to be Different
Years ago when teaching a neighbor’s child, upon her eleventh birthday, she indicated to me that she did not like eleven. I asked her why and she told me that the number one should stand alone and that eleven is like a colony of ones. Reflecting back to this incident over twenty years ago, I realize that this statement was profound.
One should stand alone even when composed of several units. However, her concrete grasp of the number eleven was seen as two distinct number-ones instead of the single unit eleven. While a student teacher I learned that developmental psychologists (E. Erickson) indicate that the transformation from concrete thinking begins to manifest and is generally arrived upon at age thirteen (twelve for girls). A fully developed linear concept of the number one, forbade her to regard the number eleven as a unit but only rendered as a repetition of the number one.
Intelligence as a Factor
The wind ruffling in the branches verbalized which fork in the road I had to take. Pondering my path while seeking to unravel why a mystical translation had occurred; finally, without question, I became assured of the way to take. Later, I became reassured of my mission without the vain struggle experienced before. Thinking I was smart as many others along the way then realized that the consequences of listening and hearing what others were saying inspired my train of thought. "He's intelligent; he's bright, he's smart." It is easy to believe what others were saying. Responding to their accolades, I unknowingly encapsulated the biblical truth, “so as a man thinks so is he” into my DNA.
You Think You Know Everything
Soon I became convinced that I had a superior intellect. With this indoctrinated into my subconscious, I continued to read everything my hands could gather, the things that held my interest were varied. Even though my friends or others with less tenacity were willing to voice my lack of humility I never lacked the wisdom to praise God's handiwork or think appreciative of others that contributed to my life. In the search for understanding, in my estimation, I never came to arrogance. Nonetheless, within the parameters of a strong work ethic supplied by my mother, I exuded with self-confidence accompanied by a sense of wellness. Now, looking back it was this drive coupled along with diligence to get knowledge that either repelled or attracted my peers. Being fortunate in the sense that I loved to study while other teens my age loved to play. The increasing need for acceptance caused my behavior to alter in the process throwing off my trajectory towards the white house forever.
LOST YEARS From the School of Hard Knocks
The natural inclination to express my intellectual identity over time became a thing of scorn. From this, I created a character who was far from the kind that you would take home to mother. After a while, this job became too laborious, (too many vices to master) so I reverted to my learning but gained some knowledge of good and evil along the way. Notwithstanding, the many classes taken from the school of hard knocks provided a jagged edge to sound wisdom. I passed through many groups, gangs, and doctrines; embracing some, rejecting others but I never strayed far from my mother's wisdom.
FILTERED BY GOD
The purpose of the Church, Paul stated is to edify and to build up one another’s most holy faith. As Nehemiah built, repaired and solidified the walls of Jerusalem, the Church shall fill the void in the lives of people to bring them into a place of maturity in Christ. I now comprehend that God blesses us with understanding to make the right decisions. Once in darkness I now see the light. I was delivered from the school of hard knocks and learned that being guided by the Word of the God is an indispensable quality of life. I would be lost without the hand of God upon me leading and guiding me through dangers seen and unseen. I cannot see how I made it without Him for so many years. He was always there. He has a plan for my life and kept me alive for a reason. For all these years He protected me in the streets, upon the highways, while living in the city or in the valley, whether sleeping in the heights or while in the belly of the beast within the dungeons of despair. He rescued me from many scenes and led me to the outermost place in the Appalachian Valley where I now rest. My covenant family is among those who are sanctified and holy, a people utilized by God to carry the message of redemption and peace through the blood of Jesus (7/26/2012).
HONESTY VS. COMFORT
Many circles disdain individualism and will use any excuse to exclude you from their group. Acceptance from others is usually by empathetic people who have had similar experiences. A weird combination emerges if you become a certain way among a group then change in their midst and remain in that group. Fugazi takes effort, being a phony makes you uneasy unless you play it to the hilt. Whatever circle you pushed your way into by playing a role when your real essence emerges remaining true to yourself takes your fearlessness to another level. Staying in the comfort zone to please others requires much exertion. It takes a lot of planning and strength to convince others of the fake you. However, it takes more stamina to withstand criticism when you walk to the beat of your drummer. Why? Flaming arrows are libel to come towards you at any time, at any place, from any direction. The more recognizable your work or more successful you are as an individual, the hotter and pointier the flaming arrow.
Being yourself puts you outside a comfort zone and inside a war-zone: twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week but to the advantage of the bold, honesty becomes an indestructible shield never stripped from its owner.
Being Different & Travelling Alone
I traveled alone. I was alone but not lonely. I stood fiercely in the midst of the adversary combating darkness alone, but apart from my peers whom many traveled in crowds. Many of whom rage over the reconciling of the souls of the oppressed and the oppressors long gone into eternity. Many are lost in the confusion of doubt and disbelief that is why I travel alone. I want to look at myself in a better relationship with myself than with my peers (making my word bond to myself).
The voice they hear is sometimes not their own. They travel wide paths packed with lies and deceit and false dreams and rare hopes. The demon dwelled, even those some peers said, "not so" or "it cannot be".
Suddenly you turn your face and see the shadow flee of the one who tormented you. Sometimes they tempt you with old things yet bright but really composed of dark mold and you’ll never know, unless you pay attention. There may be a devil in your face. Confront it, and it will deny. I was forced to look through a child' s imagination to see what I was dealing with. I saw it, for what it was. They became envious of my originality, but I wasn’t the only one that others became jealous by reason of being out classed through creativity that they desired but had not utilized. Some of the older ones are out done by their offspring and become aged with bitterness of a wasted youth while traveling a path that was not their own, but chosen to be safe.
When you are different, traveling with others introduce envy into circumstances that later may create havoc. That is why I travelled alone, in order not to offend, in my efforts to develop into a better person. This may be difficult at times and seem impossible from the start. A fresh start is life’s sharpest point so I must watch my step when traveling with others in new adventures. I found traveling with others to be necessary and rewarding and success in crowds is simple once unified and arriving at a state of being single minded within a group is highly effective but because of a lack of unity many times I've found when you need something done you have to see to it yourself.
Power of Attraction
I found myself over time becoming attached to individuals who were confident in their skin, without an ounce of pretense knowing who they are, what they want, and how they expect to get there. These people were usually millionaires or a man or woman of God. I often worked closely with rich people and those devoted to God. The power of attraction drives you to individuals who are like you and who have what you would like to acquire. I've heard the hack, 'opposites attract' but do they stay attached? I've found those who best vibrate on the frequency that you have remained the most memorable connections in life.
Still while on the path I thought I was ahead of my peers but deep inside I knew that I took the long way by comparison to the others that began along side me. The others are my peers. I knew that there was no sense in parading about, once my peers’ path diverged with mine, on a single instance fooling myself in compromise without moving ahead. The road was straight, but their route was wrong for me. I chose to rise above the absolute gravity of peer pressure and reach inside myself to gain strength to carry on. They were not behind me or ahead of me but I sensed that they were traveling their route and it was not mine. The way I took became infused with a fearlessness because of protection by God for fools and babies, and not being yourself makes you act out the part of a fool. I thank God for the patience of a praying mother who labored in prayer until my return back to myself.
Conclusion of The Matter
As a harmonious symphony combines distinct parts to make a whole, blending in with God should be the goal of every person. Like organizations that seek to function as living organisms in nature, people from different backgrounds should merge with God to become a force of good in this present world.
© 2011 Reginald Boswell