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how to pick a wedgie
The following may be offensive to the prudish and not funny individual. If you are one of these people please read something else as this may not be for you!
Avoiding the wedgies and tips
Wedgies, the bain of women everywhere. It's not bad enough that our underwire bras are poking is the ribs all day,our high heel shoes are wrecking our feet, but then we have to add to our discomfort with what seems like miles of material gathered in between our buttocks? But what can be done you ask? Well, I will give you some hints on trying to avoid the wedgie all together, and if that isn't what you are looking for I can tell you how to pick the wedgie in many different ways.
Lets get started on how to avoid the wedgie first.
- Go commando- as in don't wear underwear at all. This solution should work, no material to get in the rear.
- Wear mens underwear- ever notice how they don't seem to have problems with wedgies? Well there is a reason, they are cut with a much larger bottom and a little more room for your rear to move around in giving it less opportunity to gather. Try this one out girls, I'm telling you won't believe the difference, just remember that they should probably be tighty whiteys as I have not tried boxers and boxer briefs so I am not sure how they will rate on the wedgie scale.
- Go with the perma wedge - Thong underwear. You might think I have lost my mind on this one but the reason is say to use the thong is this, women may never be able to completely fight off the wedgie, unless of course they decided to go with option one, but with chafing and stuff like that it might not be the best alternative. The perma wedge will alleviate most of the material that gathers in our rear and make for a wedgie that is not comfortable, but at least more tolerable. Also another advantage to this is that you will not have to pick this wedgie as it has nowhere else to go. I do not recommend this tip for anyone over the age of 35, I'm pretty sure it's illegal to wear thong underwear over that age, you'll just have to stick with your cotton granny panties, sorry.
- Tape a shoehorn to your butt- well actually it does not have to be a shoehorn, it can be anything that will fill the gap between your cheeks. You probably want to go with something temporary though as eventually you will have to remove it. Ok this one may be a bit uncomfortable but nothing will be going in between those cheeks, this could also solve other problems too, which I should not address in this hub, but I think you get the gist.
Ok, now if none of these ideas appeal to you we can get to the tips on picking the wedgie.
- The finger slide- This is the act of placing a finger in the elastic band around the leg of your underwear and running along the edge while slightly pulling the excess fabric from your buttocks. This is often seen at swimming pools and beaches. This is probably the most effective way to pick your wedgie, but is also the most obvious. There really isn't a subtle way to do this, someone will probably see you.
- The shake - This is done buy shaking your rear in order to free the trapped fabric. This one is also obvious, but on the bright side it might get you a date.
- The chair slide- This one involves sitting down and using what you are sitting to brace the underpants as you slide to the side opposite the side that the fabric has entered, thus freeing the fabric from it's hiding spot. This is not as effective as tip #1 but can be done with a little less suspicion.
- The Squat- This is when you take the stance of a football player by spreading your legs about 2-3 feet apart and do a few squats until the fabric releases. This technique does not always work, and actually sometimes make the wedgie worse. Use caution with this one.
- The pick- This is the easiest way to rid yourself of the wedgie, you just pick at the fabric until it releases from your bum. Effective but not very inconspicuous.
- The blow- This is when you have enough built up gas that you can actually blow the underwear from in between the buttocks. A warning to all who use this, it may cause a loud whistling sound. This one is probably best used at home or around you people you are comfortable with.
Now that we have covered all the ways to rid yourself of a wedgie and the different ways to pick a wedgie we can al be a little more comfortable. So don't be afraid, go ahead pick it and be proud, your butt will thank you for it.
if this wasn't the how to for you, here are a few more you should check out!