How to Break-Up with Your PC or Laptop
I have never been extremely lucky when it comes to electronics, they just do not care for me much. I am sure, at this point, it borders on hate. I know. Believe me, I know. Everyone arches an eyebrow at such an utterance - at such a powerful statement - but when electronics, especially the ones you love and imbue with such personal reliance, hate you with every megabyte of their ram - you feel it.
And on the day your electronics start glitching and you can feel the hate radiating off the screen - it is time, my friend, to break-up with them.
When I was nineteen - naive to the stresses of owning your own laptop - I entered into a relationship with a Dell Inspiron notebook, it was a monthly payment thing. It came a week later in a large cardboard box and I was overjoyed - there may have even been some dancing but since there was no one there to witness it, it didn't happen. Around this time the computers at work began to form an unholy alliance against me; freezing and crashing in the middle of transactions before, finally, taking all the printers in the store down in a firestorm while I changed the ink cartridge.
It was complete awk-town having to explain what happened to my boss, especially considering I was not exactly sure what had happened. But I still considered my personal laptop above such electronic pettiness and continued to invest faith in it - what a fool I was.
What started as simple program freezing and sluggish performance, soon lead to a 'fatal system error' around Christmas wiping away every document, photo, audiofile and video saved over the last two years. I was horrified. I remember staring at the laptop, mouth agape, trying to keep from crying but being unable to find my voice to call for some help.
I called the in-laws, in Cambodia. The reception was less than stellar and after sixty-minutes of being transferred around, one of the mean relatives of my laptop, hung up on me. I sat on the floor of my kitchen and cried - cried for the stories, cried for my favourite music, and cried for the albums of photographs swallowed into the darkness - before calling back and hit a pitch, while yelling at the operators, only the dogs in the neighbourhood could hear.
Here is how I broke-up with Dell and how we remained friends.
- communication with the in-laws - it is super important to have an open communication with your computers family, making sure they have precise documentation of the many issues you are having. Like couples counseling, only more one-sided. The catharsis of airing all your issues with your laptop, or other electronic, to someones whose sole job is to find a solution for you. It will also make the final argument between you and your laptop that much easier.
- shop around - when your electronics or, in my case, laptop turn against you or succumb to old age, it is time to shop around. Use friends computers or thumb electronic magazines in the grocery stores to see what is out there, it is important to understand just how much better it can be.
- talk to friends experiencing the same issues - having a strong support group is key, you'll need it to make the full transition between the flawed electronic to the shiny new one. Having friends who understand what you are going with will allow you the strength to finally walk away from the relationship - because you are only hurting yourself.
We've been apart for a little over a year now - my Dell laptop and I - I truly believe we are better apart. She stays in the bottom drawer of dresser deep in the closet, while I enjoy my macbook who helps to simplify my life.
And when I have a problem, well, I call Apple Support and we have a nice chat. The best part about calling my macbook's in-laws is no one hangs up on me when I am having a mental breakdown ...
... now, if I could just figure out how to work my PVR.