ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel
  • »
  • Books, Literature, and Writing»
  • Commercial & Creative Writing»
  • Creative Writing»
  • Humor Writing

How to Eat with Your Skinny Friends

Updated on April 23, 2012
janikon profile image

Stuart has spent three years trying to convince his boyfriend he is not hiding books under their bed and they are certainly not multiplying.


We have all been there; eating across from one our naturally skinny friends. There is nothing worse than watching them pack away the food without a care in the world, while you daintily pick at the side salad you swore 'was more than enough' food. They will spend the majority of the meal prattling on about their spin class and the series of men they are deciding between before punctuating the conversation with their inability to shed that annoying 'last five pounds' of holiday weight. You can be sure you will have lost your appetite by this point in the conversation and can justify throwing out the last three quarters of that salad.

You can stand to eat croutons for one meal. We all know you look like a beached whale compared to your svelte friend- yes, the waitress has noticed and yes, she has been judging you since you ordered. It is best not to make eye contact while she refills your water.

Avoiding eating with your skinny(er) friends is unavoidable and you can be sure it is going to happen more than once in your life (or week). You should never be ashamed of your weight nor should you shy away from social interaction due to your perception of how others view you. Although, with that said, nobody likes sitting across from a Skinny Minnie, especially when you want to enjoy a large brunch. I love eating French toast, I love it with lots of fruit and maple syrup but I enjoy it a little less when I am eating across from someone a lot smaller than I. So, I have come up with a few tips on how to eat with your skinny friends.

  1. Peanut Butter is your friend: Before heading out to meet your friends for a meal try eating a spoon full of peanut butter. This will ensure you won't gorge on the breadbasket the moment you sit down, and being instantly drawn to all the carbs on the menu. Your skinny friends will have already been for a jog, had a 1/2 cup of almonds and walked the fifty-eight blocks to the restaurant to meet you. Why you are the one stuffing an entire loaf of bread into your mouth while they casually peruse the menu? I have no idea. It can be infuriating but it seems to be the way of the world.
  2. Water: Instead of attacking the breadbasket, the breadsticks or anything else the restaurant offers like a lion rips apart a gazelle, take a sip of water. You can still have a piece of bread or a breadstick but focus more on the water, it will trick your body into thinking you have had more than you actually have. It is also important to keep hydrated, you can almost be sure your friend will suggest a long walk to 'work off' the meal- water is key to keep those legs moving.
  3. Eat: This should not be the first meal you have eaten that day and perhaps it would not be the worst idea to have a small meal in the morning (or afternoon) before you meet your friend. You can be assured your skinny friends are eating five small meals a day. I have been guilty of forgetting to eat and then gorging on a large meal while out, it doesn't help the wallet or your perception of your size in relation to your friends size.
  4. Choosing a restaurant you hate: Then you will not be tempted to gorge on anything but the water, while your skinny friend is the only one at your table eating anything. The twenty-two year old waitress will only be judging them.


Like I said, avoiding eating out with your skinny friends is unavoidable and unless you are confident enough in your body to eat uninhibited, than you are going to feel some societal pressure. You should learn to love your body and not be weighted down with constantly trying to fit into the ideal body mould. I have been both super skinny and I have been slightly overweight but I have learned my body is the only one I am getting. Remember you are the only one who has to be happy in your own skin, it is important to know your bodies limitations and what 'healthy' means for you ...

... and, if all else fails, you can always stick pins in photos of the skinny bitches you know. Or use that skinny-rage to aid you in polishing off that family sized bag of ketchup chips. Whatever works for you.


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • profile image

      ExoticHippieQueen 5 years ago

      Very, very funny, and actually very good advice as well!

    • Emma Harvey profile image

      Emma Kisby 5 years ago from Berkshire, UK

      Very good advice, especially the peanut butter thing. Never heard of that before - must try it out :)

    • hisandhers profile image

      hisandhers 5 years ago from Toronto, Ontario, Canada

      My favourite part of this Hub (besides the awesome general snarkiness I have to come to know and love from you) is the girl stuffing her face with cinnamon buns. I am that girl. Or at least, I wish I could be that girl because the amount of cinnamon buns at that lady's disposable is amazing!