How Life Changes
Want to be free as waves of sea
I am here after a long time, may be after 3 years around. I love writing but I was very busy in my personal life... Yes personal life...rituals that should happen in life...getting married..having baby...in laws and family...Yes this is my life from three years in which I was very busy.
Today I get some free time and again want to talk to you people to share my personal feeling that are not personal in fact in India. it happens with every second girl or you can say with all girls. This is something that must happen in Indian girl's life.
Time changes, new century comes, way of living changes but not change- the life of Indian girls. Although it seems that many things have been changed with the passage of time. Now some of us get chance to study, to come out from house for job, to take our decision, to live our life etc. But it is superficial, it is not true... Yess we look free, but we are not free, we are still living in many boundaries. Sometimes I feel that we are puppet. Our string is controlled by some other that is our patriarchal society.
I am writing all these because I know many of us want to share the same feeling but don't have courage to say. I also did not have because may be my husband or some other of his relatives go through this article and will think that I am not happy with them or I am criticizing them. But later on I realize that I don't want to criticize anybody. Actually it is not their fault, it is something that is taught to them by society, hypocrite society. We are living in a hypocrite society that change its rules and regulations according to its own convenience. Here rules are different for everybody. Here as I am trying to focus on Indian girl's life, so rules are different for girls. As a daughter (some of us) enjoy life like princess, we have all favors- for example to study, to think, to take our own decisions, in fact to become an INDIVIDUAL, because we are human beings and should be treated equally and should enjoy life without any distinction. So after enjoying all these we become individual, we become self-dependent. But as our society says that marriage is the most important institution of anyone's life. So we have to get marry. And here is the turning point...
A girl gets marry with a lot of dreams that would be shattered soon. Because in India not only two person get marry, but two families are involved here. A couple is not going to set a home but the bride has to adjust in a well-settled family. Of course two people are not same so they can think same. And if they are not thinking same then how can they lead a successful life. Of course couple can live happily by supporting each other, by adjusting, by giving some space to each other. So you have to compromise your freedom, your way of living, thinking. Actually this is the problem that they don't want to compromise any thing as it is their house and bride is new so she has to adjust, she should follow the culture of the family. She has to understand that it is her new family and as she is from outside so it is her responsibility to act accordingly. As the bride reaches her sasural (in laws' house) now she has to act like a maid, like a nurse, like a care-taker and of course like a object to fulfill her husband's desires of all type. It is her duty to make him happy. Why are you married...? the biggest question- to reproduce ourselves, so involve in it and enjoy that state and get conceive as soon as possible so that you can give them their heir.
Yes heir is there, now again it is your responsibility to take care of the baby, to feed her on time, to wash her potty, take care of hers. Your are doing everything for the baby, but it is their heir, she will be known by their surname (if girl's surname is different). And now if you are in job still you have to perform same duties. Actually it is bride's choice that she wants to work (for them she wants to go out, she has no interest for home), but she has to cook food. Actually a maid can be hired for cooking and household works, but it does not happen in their home. So the bride has live a double day life. She has to fulfill all responsibilities of home and office both.
She is earning a handsome salary but still she has to live according to her husband and his family. Height is that you have to change everything. They notice everything how you stand, how you sit, which time you get up, how many hours you sleep, what you wear.. means everything is noticed by them. Actually what I feel-that they want live bride's life.
So this is the reason why I was not here for last three years. I was busy in all these duties. of course still I am not free, but now I have decided to be free...