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If I Get Married - Poem

Updated on October 30, 2014
Gloriousconfusion profile image

I started writing poetry as a child. I write performance poetry, observational, sometimes humorous, sometimes serious human rights issues

Well, William and Pippa's Royal Wedding has been and gone a few of years ago and there are no more fancy weddings on the horizon for a while

In spite of protestations to the contrary, it still seemed to me to be a pretty luxurious affair. But what do I know?

Every maiden fantasizes about her wedding.

Here's my wedding fantasy, in poetic form - a stupendous affair with opulence and romance beyond compare.

My real wedding, by the way, was a bit different!

But who wants reality when you can choose romance?

Here's my Poem - "If I Get Married"

(I should be so lucky!)


If I Get Married

The wedding will be so exclusive

that even the bridegroom won't know where it is.

My dress will be opulent silk

delivered personally by an unsmiling Mandarin

from the nether regions of Outer Mongolia,

borne in an intricately carved jade coffer

(like a posh coffin, but easier to carry)

with ornate Chinese lions guarding each corner.

Flowers will be flown in

from the botanical gardens in Rondebosch

and Balchik in Bulgaria.

The Salute will come from a thousand and one Kalashnikovs

Imported from the hills of Tora Bora.

There will be no present list at Harrods

Because, at the age of eighty-eight,

I don't need anything really.

©Diana Grant 26th September 2008

I've been writing poetry nearly all my life

I remember when I was about ten, my friend and I wrote a rhyming play - yes, a whole play, would you believe? Of course it was quite a short one-act affair, but we memorized the words, set up the stage (in the garden) and dressed up in the right clothes.

The audience consisted of our family - who else?

We were mortified when they threw in a few cheeky comments and laughed in the wrong place, but they made up for it by clapping and cheering at the end. I was encouraged enough to perform many times after that, and even tried stand-up comedy, but I found my "talent" was of most benefit to me when delivering an oration in court as an advocate, some thirty years later. You never know when your early experiences are going to come in handy.

Please Visit my Guestbook and Give Your Feedback and Comments - Feel free to critque my poem and suggest improvements - nothing is written in stone

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    • John Dyhouse profile image

      John Dyhouse 3 years ago from UK

      Enjoyed your quiz, got caught out because of a personal feeling about blank verse, otherwise OK

    • Gloriousconfusion profile image

      Diana Grant 3 years ago from United Kingdom

      @writerkath: Thanks for that!

    • ecogranny profile image

      Kathryn Grace 3 years ago from San Francisco

      I love your poem, including the surprise ending. Thank you for sharing it, and for your sense of humor. I got the question with Lowry, Cicero and the other guy wrong, but at least I still remember enough that I got an 80 percent on that quiz. Thanks for a fun interlude on a busy day.

    • writerkath profile image

      writerkath 3 years ago

      Love the image of an "unsmiling Mandarin" delivering the dress! Beautiful imagery!

    • Gloriousconfusion profile image

      Diana Grant 3 years ago from United Kingdom

      @Wednesday-Elf: Well done.

    • Wednesday-Elf profile image

      Wednesday-Elf 3 years ago from Savannah, Georgia

      Loved the poem and your 'wedding' ideas. AND, I got 80% in the quiz! :)

    • Gloriousconfusion profile image

      Diana Grant 4 years ago from United Kingdom

      @SteveKaye: yes, you can get a feel for these things!

    • Brite-Ideas profile image

      Barbara Tremblay Cipak 4 years ago from Toronto, Canada

      very beautiful lens and I especially enjoyed your "If I Get Married Poem" :)

    • profile image

      SteveKaye 4 years ago

      I got the answers that I knew plus a few, give or take some.

    • Blackspaniel1 profile image

      Blackspaniel1 6 years ago

      I found your Squidcast. I enjoyed the lens.