Leah Davies' Poetry
I had thought myself living
In a land of fairytales
And iridescent cliches,
As granted to me by him.
But that knight in shining armour was gilted not in silver,
A pale mimic of my own
He was more interested in
Other damsels in distress,
Abandoning me when I needed him most.
My life had been nothing more than
Despairing hopes pinned to a paper idol.
Pain obliterates every synapse.
The me that once existed is gone.
Confronted by my demon,
But this time she wears his face.
I shouldn't be surprised -
She's the most vicious part of me,
She knows where to thrust her knife.
My stone heart has dissolved into beating flesh,
Bringing with it a pain so suffocating
I'm reminded how it became stone in the first place.
Rip this wretched thing from my chest!
Burn its memories from me
And cast me into sweet oblivion.
Surely stone is better than this.
Still she stands over me,
Reminding me of where I belong
And where I've gone wrong.
"You have forgotten your place,"
Her grip tightens.
"YOU HAVE FORGOTTEN YOUR PLACE!"
Nails bite into flesh;
Memories flash in her eyes.
A fifteen year old me cowers in self-hatred,
Mirroring my stance.
Two years I was free of her:
How has it come to this?
"You can't do anything right;
You've reached above your station."
Her malevolent grin cuts deep.
"If you died, right now, who would mourn you?"
"You're not a loss.
You're a burden."
Dear Little Girl
Dear little girl:
You had thought me gone,
You had thought that
Once you had met him,
I would slink away quietly
Never to be heard from again.
You were caught up in delusions
Of fairytales and happily ever afters:
You had thought yourself
Happy and content.
But you were wrong.
Of course he doesn't want you.
Who would ever want you?
He has greater things in store for him,
Greater than you.
Greater women than you.
Your delusions have made you forget your place.
You are worthless and have remained as such.
You stupid little girl.
No one will ever love you -
You're not pretty, talented or special.
You will end up on your own here,
Marooned away from anyone you knew.
You will never see him again.
He will cast you aside
Like the worthless wretch you are,
And he will pick up someone better.
Let's face it,
It won't take much to find someone
Better than you.
I am not gone, little girl.
I was never gone.
I was simply waiting
Until he got bored of you.
Everyone gets bored of you.
The one and only person
You will have by your side
Will be me.
You will never lose me.
You wouldn't want to -
I keep you in check.
You must learn your place.
He is above you and deserves so much more.
No wonder he's tired of you.
He doesn't love you -
Your desperate ways to cling to the
Man you thought you knew.
What do you have to offer him?
A body he can't stand to see,
Let alone touch?
He does not caress you because you are worthless.
He does not kiss you because you are worthless.
He does not look at you because you are worthless.
He does not love you because YOU ARE WORTHLESS.
I just wanted to remind you of your place,
And that I am still here.
I will always be here.
Three Little Words
Three Little Words:
Unless you spell them out for me,
I cannot read them.
How can I hear something
That isn't there?