missing moments and metaphores
derived from thoughts that play on me
one two many times thrown on my back.
oblivious to oblivion
how sad it is when youthful immortality holds only this.
weathering through the bleak
doing nothing right
and getting fucking lost
but we've been over and over this
hollowed out hell
and misconstrued thoughts
reeling and writhing from sins that I bought
wondering when you'd remember my name
or at least have the decency to say it again
cycled on down to the misguided noose
choosing the rope when its running from you
hands bleeding from wringing constant
waiting and wondering, it all I was good at
so bitingly broken that I actually believed
the problem began and ended with me
the voices, the voices
they didn't care
constantly telling me why you weren't there
not giving a fuck about how deep id gone
taking on guilt that's not mine,
the boogieman won.
he grew me a forest and at home I became
only place that I knew where my feelings would tame
thoughts didn't consume me
within it I was free
no one to wait for, no one waiting for me
swimming and bathing and breathing in peace
temporary insanity literally saved me
darkened forest embraced my soul
and let me take on some form of control
it cradled and soothed me and carried me through
what was the most horrible experience id ever knew.
so the thing that was there that became my best friend
ceased to be needed when the horrific did end
my life is at peace, and everything's light
but ill admit sometimes I miss the night
the vessel that took me from pain to beauty
the thing that rocked me and soothed me to sleep
I fell in love with the trees that protected me
and until now believed that id never see them again.
relieved to be happy but missing my friend
until I realized all along
in the end
the forest was me...