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One Touch Will Never Be Enough

Updated on October 14, 2015

Have you ever seen the eyes of an Angel?

Or lay chest to chest with a dream?

Realizing that its not about the faces you make

It's just about you

Loving more then the wind blows

Or the sun shows

In the summer

Paralyzed from your stair

It's more then what it seems

A simple touch is not enough

I need it all..

I need you more then you know

Blood flowing

As my heart is showing

Glowing

Pouring my feelings as I try to keep pace

Like a race

Only there is no finish

No checkered flag

Just love...

No words

Just actions

No guessing

Just passion

Hold me close..

I ll hold you closer

Just promise not to let go

Just let it flow

I am knee deep

Head over heels Infatuated, with you

So yes..one touch will never be enough



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    • giftedwriter86 profile image
      Author

      giftedwriter86 5 years ago from new castle ,de

      thank you very much for your input it means alot .Sorry for my untimely response

    • PDXKaraokeGuy profile image

      Justin W Price 5 years ago from Juneau, Alaska

      giftedwriter, the main thing to remember is a writer needs to turn an abstract concept (like love) into something concrete. Ass my english professor says, abstract is an idea and concrete is something you can pour gravy on. Maybe instead of sayin "I love you" say something like "When I am with you, it's like white doves bursting through the sky" As like as you make the intangible tangible, you'll succeed as a writer :-)

    • giftedwriter86 profile image
      Author

      giftedwriter86 5 years ago from new castle ,de

      No thank you very much!! I appreciate the criticism as it can be used to help me become a better writer

    • Perspycacious profile image

      Demas W Jasper 5 years ago from Today's America and The World Beyond

      The quality is in the treatment you gave this topic, but each of the following lines has a distracting error. Three are the use of "then" when you probably meant "than." One is the word "lay." Another is just a missing apostrophe " ' " in I'll, and you wrote "stair" when you probably meant "stare." These are the lines:

      lay chest to chest

      Paralyzed from your stair

      Loving more then the wind blows

      It's more then what it seems

      I need you more then you know

      I ll hold you closer

      This is not meant as criticism, but as help. Again you treated the topic very well, as the other Commenters said.

    • giftedwriter86 profile image
      Author

      giftedwriter86 5 years ago from new castle ,de

      thank you sooooo much!!!

    • calico Stark profile image

      calico Stark 5 years ago from Earth for the time being

      I love this poem! I especially like this part...

      "Pouring my feelings as I try to keep pace

      Like a race

      Only there is no finish

      No checkered flag

      Just love..."

      I love the intensity! Great hub! Vote up and awesome!

    • Gran Tatrade profile image

      Gran Tatrade 5 years ago from plano

      need galaxy s2?if interested reach me at gtalk: coin.collector2017

    • profile image

      Mawer 5 years ago

      When you are in love, it's easy express the deepest part of your feelings towards the one whom you care and love. It will flow like a river, whether poems, songs or just simple writing.

    • PDXKaraokeGuy profile image

      Justin W Price 5 years ago from Juneau, Alaska

      I think you have a good start here, but there's a few cliches you may want to consider changing and try to do more showing and less telling. You also have inconsistent rhyme and rhythm which can be distracting.

    • cynamans profile image

      cynamans 5 years ago from Washington DC

      Great poem giftedwriter86,

      I really enjoyed reading your writing. keep up the good work.

      Best C

    • jhamann profile image

      Jamie Lee Hamann 5 years ago from Reno NV

      I think you should take a look at line length and when you want to poem to speed up in tempo or slow down. I enjoy what you have already but it adds a little flavor to ponder about it. This is a pretty good love poem, I have a hard time with love poems, but this is good. I would recommend reading William Carlos Williams. Keep up the great work and I am excited to read some more. Jamie