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Buck's Two Cents Worth 6 -Sorting the syntax

Updated on April 3, 2011
My neighbour Mooloo improving his wordpower
My neighbour Mooloo improving his wordpower | Source

It pays to increase your wordpower

 

Phil is out planting his veggies at the moment, so that will give me another way to divert him in a few weeks time.

This week I thought I’d air my views on something that has been worrying a lot of my fellow countyrgoats. It’s this sensible sentencing mob and I have to say I think it’s time we did something about it too.

What are they teaching humans at schools these days? I mean I’ve got a better understanding of grammar than most of them and I haven’t even been to a school. It’s little wonder humans are always getting into wars with each other when they can’t even communicate.

First of all you have chosen to speak so many different languages, which seems to me to be downright dumb. Why would anyone want to do this? That’s just putting barriers in the way before we’ve even tackled your atrocious knowledge of syntax.

Speaking of which I was talking to old Billy the other day, and he’s a bit slow on the uptake. He’s what we goats call a few chromosomes too close to a sheep. Anyway, Billy thinks syntax is what the government collects from the brothels. What a dimwit, eh?

Anyhow back to this grammar lark; I reckon it’s got a lot to do with that bloody silly texting stuff younger humans seem to be addicted to. Have you ever read some of those messages?

I saw one the other day it said, Hi r u k? Whyd 4 da pa t? And the reply had come back, Sum savs n pl8s W cakes. It’s complete bollox! And this is only the stuff that’s in (supposedly) English! Imagine text Hindi, text Mandarin, text Arabic, text Greek and no doubt text Australian or is that text Strine?

So all those humans who took the trouble to learn the language of another mad biped culture in a futile attempt to avoid having to kill them will now have to learn the text equivalent for every one they have already learned. You guys do make life difficult for yourselves, don’t you?

I tell you what. If I was in charge of the human race I’d turn that clown who invented texting into a wether in very short order. Nobody that stupid should be allowed to breed. And then I’d destroy all those silly cellphones with their tiny little keys. What is that all about? How can a bloke be expected to get his hooves around those? What the world needs is a decent dose of caprine logic.

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