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Just the Ashes

Updated on February 20, 2010

Just the ashes

It is hollow, aching deep…
It is sad, so sad.
As one living at the bottom of a chasm looking up and watching the people walk by.
Brief glimpses of soft light, then nothing but the gloom that overcomes me, drowns me in tar, in pitch.
I long for the waters to wash me clean, but I am too far away and nothing can reach me save for the brief flickers of light.
I cannot give anymore of myself to anyone else.
I have carried your burdens through deserts and droughts up hills and through valleys waiting for the day you would take them from me… waiting for that oasis, instead all that awaited me was this dark cold and jagged place where no life can exist, perhaps not even mine.
Once I knew my own strength and laughed at adversity, challenged the fierce storms, and now I plea for strength to rise up every day.
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME? There is nothing that is right. Nothing that is golden, the colors of the churches in mid day have faded from my memory.
I hear an echo now, and see the dark feet and the cold stone and then memories of bathing in the sea are gone as well.
They cannot live here.
Those flowers you used to bring me, leave on my doorstep… I forget their fragrance.
You were so many people… so many people that all left me  in this place. I care not now it I can remember the smell of spices from your kitchen, and the warm bed we crawled out from… you were so many people, so many memories, I drop them here.
I tell myself I am glad to be rid of them, alone in my ravine, barefoot on the sharp rocks, growing accustomed to the lack of air and the listless way my mind takes down my soul and all that once made me real.
Ah, I just picture your black footsteps coming down the cold stone path, and I want to run, run before you tell me what I already know. I cannot lose more, this you know well.
It is already gone. And lost to me. And you know also that layers of what used to be mine fall as ashes, gently floating to the ground.
So quiet, so painful in their obscurity.

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    • russiangypsygirl profile imageAUTHOR

      russiangypsygirl 

      8 years ago

      Thank you so much, Jen's Solitude. I am glad you can feel what I am trying to convey.

      And to MyOwnWorld, thank you for your kind words and for reading it. This means a lot. - Gypsy

    • myownworld profile image

      myownworld 

      8 years ago from uk

      A powerful and sad poem on loss. Beautifully written... and the pics just enhance the effect. Thank you for sharing it...

    • Jen's Solitude profile image

      Jen's Solitude 

      8 years ago from Delaware

      Great mental imagery you creat russiangypsygirl. The darkness we feel when we are sad or hopeless or depressed is perfectly described here. Thanks for a great read!

    • russiangypsygirl profile imageAUTHOR

      russiangypsygirl 

      8 years ago

      Thank you NicholsGirl.

    • profile image

      nicholsgirl 

      8 years ago

      I can feel the darkness you write about. So encompassing. Fantastic writing.

    • russiangypsygirl profile imageAUTHOR

      russiangypsygirl 

      8 years ago

      Thank you Mistry, so glad you read it.

    • Moulik Mistry profile image

      Moulik Mistry 

      8 years ago from Burdwan, West Bengal, India

      Excellent writing, loved it...

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