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Piffling Poetry

Updated on January 12, 2013

Welcome To Piffling Poetry

This lighthearted lens is devoted to delightful ditties and tantalizing trite trills and thrills that are a testament to the notion of piffling poetry.

What distinguishes piffling poetry from pitiful poetry is its peculiar, perplexing, and often preposterous quality. It doesn't even pretend to be pithy or even peridurable. In a nutshell, it's just full of ridiculous rhymes, amusing alliteration, or nutty nonsense.

So, kick back, pour yourself a little something that tickles the tongue, while we offer you a potpourri of piddling pieces of prattle and pointless poetry.

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Image Credit: 123rf.com/CAXIGOAV

A VINTAGE VALENTINE VERSE ... - Ludicrous love-bird looking for a good time in all the wrong places!

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Image Credit: tatterededges.blogspot.com/084397-nosy-parker-dizzy-bird

PIFFLING POETRY - Part 1: A Rather Fine Example of a Peculiar Poem

In the great scheme of things, there are some pieces of prose and poetry that should never see the light of day.

Anything to do with words like "crepuscules" or "pussicles" might suggest that something very odd is about to happen, or, at the very least, this pretentious piece of poetry is going nowhere fast.

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Image Credit: Vimrod cartoon - lastlemon.com/3118a

Further Reflections on Parsley

Parsley

Is gharsley.

-- Ogden Nash --

PIFFLING POETRY - Part 2: Choosing the Right Words Can Be A Pain in the Patootie

Selecting the most appropriate words to fit the right feelings can be a pain in the patootie, especially when the poet is more concerned about looking good on paper, which is why bluff and bafflegab is so important to impress an audience filled with yahoos or yokels.

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Image Credit: Vimrod cartoon by Ralph Lazar and Lisa Swerling - vimrod.com

PIFFLING POETRY - Part 3: It Should Be Salty, Short, And Preferably Shrink-Proof

Piffling Poetry is greatly appreciated by those with short attention spans, which is why doctors of ditties recommend that it be taken taken in small doses on a full stomach.

The subject matter of the piffling piece should also be something that most folliculed folks can relate to such as "fleas".

According to the Oxford Dictionary of Quotations, the shortest poem in the English language (by an unknown poet) is a rather cute if not crazy couplet) titled On the Antiquity of Microbes and contains only two words - "Adam/Had 'em." Note: Adam also had problems with worms in apples and, probably a tick or two in his sandwich (but those are problems for philosophers and theologians to work out, and of course th subject of perhaps more piffling pieces of poetry by poets with short attention spans.

Of course, wouldn't you know it, there is now some dreadful debate going on among doctors of dingbat ditties as to who can claim to have written the shortest titled poem with the fewest number of words that still qualifies under the category of a "piffling piece of poetry".

For this reason, those with even shorter attention spans who are enamored with topic of fleas might well suggest that the Piffling Piece of Poetry prize be awarded to posthumously to Shel Silverstein, author of a poem titled Fleas (one four-lettered word), followed by two words in the body: "Adam/Had 'em."

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Image Credit: Cedric Honstadt illustration - cedrichonstadt.worpress.com/fleawormtick-noballoon2

Food For Thought: - A piece of peculiar poetry to chew on.

Piffling Poetry is an acquired taste. At the very least, this fanciful form of poetry should offer food for thought, such as the plebian yet palatable piece, "When Tillie Ate The Chili".

One might wish to speculate as to why Tillie acted like a screaming-meemie having been obliged to flee down the street after consuming a bowl of chili. The not so obvious answer might be 1) to escape from a gathering of pathetic poets who were mouthing off in iambic pentameter at a table in the back of the restaurant, or 2) to make a fast exit out the side door in order to avoid paying the bill (she was also a poverty-striken piffling poet).

Too bad the piffling poet didn't let us in on what happened next. But, that's why it's a perfect piece of piffling poetry.

On the other hand, if you're really into funny food for thought, why not consider Roslyn Taylor's piffling piece:

WRONG RECIPE

The vichyssoise is almost chilled,

The salad's crisp and crunchy,

The duck l'orange smells divine,

The apple pie looks muchy,

The coffee's brewing on the stove,

The Riesling's my love potion -

Surely when he's had his fill

He'll speak of his devotion?

I scrape the plates, I clear the decks,

I glumly fill the dregs-can.

I should have know it (damn his eyes!) -

He was a steak-and-eggs man.

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Image Credit: ict4lt.org/tillie

Poetry Credit: http://f2.org/humour/language/nonsense.html#WrongRecipe

POTTY PIECE OF POETRY - To Celebrate the Happy Ho Ho Ho Season

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Image Credit: http://donnamundinger-popsickletoes.blogspot.com/Reindeer-Poop-poem

The Catsup Bottle

"First a little

Then a lottle."

-- Ogden Nash --

PIFFLING POETRY: - Part 4: A Laughable Limerick Or, A Piffling Piece About A Pelican

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Image Credit: feryfunnywallpaper.blogspot.com/31870781_d943d6399e.jpg

Magnetic Magic Inspires Piffling Poetry - How about a magnetic poem for your refrigerator door?

Magnetic Poetry - Little Box of Love Kit - Words for Refrigerator - Write Poems and Letters on the Fridge - Made in the USA
Magnetic Poetry - Little Box of Love Kit - Words for Refrigerator - Write Poems and Letters on the Fridge - Made in the USA

Lothario began his connubial career writing little love sonnets...so what's stopping you?

 
Magnetic Poetry - Little Box of Whoop Ass Kit - Words for Refrigerator - Write Poems and Letters on the Fridge - Made in the USA
Magnetic Poetry - Little Box of Whoop Ass Kit - Words for Refrigerator - Write Poems and Letters on the Fridge - Made in the USA

For those with short attention spans, this little box of "Whoop Ass Words" is just the solution!

 
Magnetic Poetry - Office Kit - Words for Refrigerator - Write Poems and Letters on the Fridge - Made in the USA
Magnetic Poetry - Office Kit - Words for Refrigerator - Write Poems and Letters on the Fridge - Made in the USA

A fun way to exercise your imagination while inhabiting your curious cube farm.

 
Magnetic Poetry Magnetic Poetry Writer's Remedy
Magnetic Poetry Magnetic Poetry Writer's Remedy

The best prescription for a writer's block!

 

Some Poets Belong in the Looney Bin Along with all the others who've gone Looney Tunes

Piffling poets are often inspired by an amazing array of absurdities in life, like what it's like to live in a looney bin filled with all sorts of weird wild animals.

It would appear that when Noah built his ark, he did not send out invitations to a rambunctious rabbit, a raucous rooster, and a scaredy cat, not to mention a paltry pig-in-a-poke poet.

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Image Credit: cartoonbrew.com/looneymuses

The Complete Verse and Other Nonsense
The Complete Verse and Other Nonsense

Edward Lear, a Victorian illustrator and painter, is also known for his many laughable limericks!

 
The Complete Nonsense of Edward Lear (Faber Children's Classics)
The Complete Nonsense of Edward Lear (Faber Children's Classics)

For those who adore amusing absurdities - this is a classic that is sure to please both young and old.

 
Poetry for Young People: Edward Lear
Poetry for Young People: Edward Lear

What's not to love about lyrical, silly, and rhythmical poetry that warms the cockles of your heart and tickles the funnybone?

 
His Shoes Were Far Too Tight: Poems by Edward Lear
His Shoes Were Far Too Tight: Poems by Edward Lear

You can never have enough piffling poetry by Edward Lear!

 

What It Takes To Be A Piffling Poet - Or a bewildering bard.

1Write in blank verse. That means leaving lots of white space between the lines so you can let whatever thoughts come into your head plenty of room to play around. It also allows you to doodle when the thoughts are taking a nap as they often do because thinking requires a lot of brain power.

2Don't worry about crossing the i's or dotting the t's. That will eliminate a very boring task from your long "to do" list for the day.

3Never punctuate. Whatever you do, please leave something for your readers to do.

4Never apologize if someone doesn't follow your train of thought. Let's face it they're still waiting at the bus station for the train to come in, that's why they haven't a clue what you're doing, no wonder they can't find you, let alone follow your train of thought in a caboose!

5Always sign your piffling poetry with a potty or precocious pen name. That way, if there is any cockammie criticism of your wonky words of wit and wisdom, your nutty nom-de-plume can always take the blame!

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Image Credit: dreamstime.com/12819965171no3Ky

Piffling Poetry Poll - Okay Smarty Pants...what's your answer?

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Image Credit: Bob Canada Illustrtion & Design - bobcanada92.blogspot.com

HOW WELL DO YOU KNOW YOUR PIFFLING POETRY?

"Yes, your throat is froggy,

And your eyes are swimmy,"

Who wrote the loopy lyrical lines above?

See results

Beware of bards bearing weird words of wisdom gleaned from far too many days spent navel-gazing.

You can never have enough piffling poets and Christmas crankpots! - In the weird world of wit and wonk there's always room for Saint Nudnick!

Roses are red and violets are blue,

I got me some mistletoe now where are you?

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Image Credit: christmas elf cartoon - clipartguide.com

FROM THE BELIEVE IT OR NOT BOX:

"Poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese."

-- G. K. Chesterton --

THE HO HO HO HOLIDAYS ARE HERE ... - TIME TO CAPTURE THE MAGIC!

'Twas the night before Christmas at Rock-Away Rest,

and all of us seniors were looking our best.

Our glasses, how sparkly, our wrinkles, how merry;

Our punchbowl held prune juice plus three drops of sherry.

A bedsock was taped to each walker, in hope

That Santa would bring us soft candy and soap.

We surely were lucky to be there with friends,

Secure in this residence and in our Depends.

Our grandkids had sent us some Christmasy crafts,

Like angels in snowsuits and penguins on rafts.

The dental assistant had borrowed our teeth,

And from them she'd crafted a holiday wreath.

The bed pans, so shiny, all stood in a row,

Reflecting our candle's magnificent glow.

Our supper so festive -- the joy wouldn't stop --

Was creamy warm oatmeal with sprinkles on top.

Our salad was Jell-O, so jiggly and great,

Then puree of fruitcake was spooned on each plate.

The social director then had us play games,

Like "Where Are You Living?" and "What Are Your Names?"

Old Grandfather Looper was feeling his oats,

Proclaiming that reindeer were nothing but goats.

Our resident wand'rer was tied to her chair,

In hopes that at bedtime she still would be there.

Security lights on the new fallen snow

Made outdoors seem noon to the old folks below.

Then out on the porch there arose quite a clatter

(But we are so deaf that it just didn't matter).

A strange little fellow flew in through the door,

Then tripped on the sill and fell flat on the floor.

'Twas just our director, all togged out in red.

He jiggled and chuckled and patted each head.

We knew from the way that he strutted and jived

Our social- security checks had arrived.

We sang -- how we sang -- in our monotone croak,

Till the clock? tinkled out its soft eight-p.m. stroke.

And soon we were snuggling deep in our beds.

While nurses distributed nocturnal meds.

And so ends our Christmas at Rock-Away Rest.

'fore long you'll be with us, We wish you the best!

Author Unknown

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Image Credit: From blog posting by David Warren Fisher on Dec. 20, 2010 - pilgrimscribblings.com/Senior Cartoon.gif

Poetry Credit Unknown, (from same reference as above).

Piffling Poetry & Prose

Barking Spiders and Other Such Stuff, Second Edition
Barking Spiders and Other Such Stuff, Second Edition

Frankly, anything about "Barking Spiders" would definitely qualify as comical if not a little crazy!

 
Seriously Funny: Poems about Love, Death, Religion, Art, Politics, Sex, and Everything Else
Seriously Funny: Poems about Love, Death, Religion, Art, Politics, Sex, and Everything Else

How about a little humorous, ironic, or satirical poetry with your meal tonight?

 
The Poet's Companion: A Guide to the Pleasures of Writing Poetry
The Poet's Companion: A Guide to the Pleasures of Writing Poetry

Every piffling poet needs a manual to help one write a daffy ditty or outrageous opus.

 
Comic Poems (Everyman's Library Pocket Poets Series)
Comic Poems (Everyman's Library Pocket Poets Series)

Some of the best light-hearted lyrical lines from Lewis Carroll to Edward Lear, not to mention Ogden Nash, Dorothy Parker and W. H. Auden demonstrating the value of limericks, clerihews, ballads, sonnets, and nonsense verse.

 
The Best of Ogden Nash
The Best of Ogden Nash

Who said one can't split one's side laughing while reading poetry?

 

Giggle Greetings - Are you a piffling poet in the making?

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