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Nightmare

Updated on June 20, 2011
Source


Dawn's fingers

Find me tossed about

By bad dreams

Rejected in a fiction

Of my failings

Not exciting enough

Not fun enough


No love 

Left 

Alone


The play betrays my fears

Exaggerates my inadequacies

Divorce with a careless shrug

The conclusion

With it a dark weight

Presses into me 

Fault and failure


I writhe beneath it till

Slowly fiction and fact fall

Each to its own side 

Of the curtain 

Tween that world and this

Waking brings the realization


Together

We 

Were the nightmare

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    • Randy Behavior profile image
      Author

      Randy Behavior 7 years ago from Near the Ocean

      Yes Ben you are deeper than the average youngin' most definitely.

      Doug sometimes we gotta let them go so that they are forced to grow. Very few plates were thrown, LOL.

      Take an aspirin sligobay, I'll see what I can pen.

    • sligobay profile image

      sligobay 7 years ago from east of the equator

      The mature poet is really quite immature and delights in all of the peas that please. I intentionally misspelled peas so as not to be accused of being p-erverted. There is nothing slight about the increase of my heart rate when you are serving up sexual tension.

    • profile image

      Doug Turner Jr. 7 years ago

      Mmmm, "P" words (Homer Simpson voice).

      Yeah, this was definitely clear about the divorce and you two together being the nightmare; I was just curious about the juice behind it. Were plates thrown? Cars peeled out of driveways? Slurs hurled? I don't expect you to elaborate on this stuff, but it's what my mind searches for beneath. Otherwise, very clear poem.

    • BenWritings profile image

      BenWritings 7 years ago from Save me from, Tennessee

      I like your poetry regardless, Randy. And by no means do I only care about the above "p" words. ;]

      you should know that...

      cause you know me...

    • Randy Behavior profile image
      Author

      Randy Behavior 7 years ago from Near the Ocean

      Well I guess the mature poet understood the young poet better than I. My fan base seems to be tired of hearing about Divorce, Debt and Death. 2011, I have already decided is all about Parties, Passion, Prosperity, Pretty Panties and Pinot Grigio, perhaps that will go over better.

    • BenWritings profile image

      BenWritings 7 years ago from Save me from, Tennessee

      this was the first hub i read of yours that didn't ooze sensual tension, and increase my heart rate slightly.

      that's what young ben meant ;]

    • Randy Behavior profile image
      Author

      Randy Behavior 7 years ago from Near the Ocean

      Perhaps dawn's finger slowly unweave the net of the night? That heavy blanket of guilt the morning rays somehow turn to silly string. Thanks sligobay for your lovely perspective. I guess we don't know what BenWritings meant, unless he tells us. Assuming always gets me in sooooo much trouble ;)

    • sligobay profile image

      sligobay 7 years ago from east of the equator

      "Dawn's fingers" probe and untangle the knot of the night. Effective opening image for me. "Together we were ..." was enough of an ending with the nightmare left implied but obvious -but that's just me and not critical in any way. The nightmare was aptly described throughout "...not exciting enough, not fun enough..." in the burden of pleasing another rather than ourselves and not measuring up. I think young BenWritings meant that he was accustomed to being seduced by your words and this was a very different theme. I devoured this poem with a shared appetite.

    • Randy Behavior profile image
      Author

      Randy Behavior 7 years ago from Near the Ocean

      I've had a lot of darkness to contend with Enigmatic this last year. I'm just cleaning off my desk top of the poems the storm wrought. I'll try to find something sillier for you.

    • Enigmatic Me profile image

      7 years ago from East Coast Canada

      Naw... I liked the poem. Been studying this comment for 12 minutes, I am fighting the urge of being compelled into saying soulful and redundant semi-cliched sentiments. No one likes those. I look forward to hearing about your more sunny days again.

    • Nikkij504gurl profile image

      Nikki Wicked 7 years ago from Louisiana

      haha na i love zombie stuff. im a big horror fan. so that stuff dont really scare me. i killz the zombies! or keep em as pets lol in my dreams its kinda like we running away from em, but its not a nightmare to me.

    • Randy Behavior profile image
      Author

      Randy Behavior 7 years ago from Near the Ocean

      Hmmmm don't really want to have zombie dreams that sounds worst than nightmares about ex-husbands.

    • Nikkij504gurl profile image

      Nikki Wicked 7 years ago from Louisiana

      i sumtimes have dreams of zombies and its just random stuff when i actually do dream, with people i know and sometimes people i never even seen. i once dreamt i was being sucked into a black hole. i wouldnt call these nightmares. the closest thing to a nightmare though was when i woke up feeling like someones hand was on my shoulder. scared the crap out of me, but i dont remember the dream itself. if there even was one.

    • Randy Behavior profile image
      Author

      Randy Behavior 7 years ago from Near the Ocean

      I have crazy sci fi dreams Nikki, but I'll share 'em with you :)

      Really Doug, I thought this one laid it all out there? Read my poem Insurmountable and I think it'll make sense.

    • profile image

      Doug Turner Jr. 7 years ago

      Interesting. Makes me wonder what events and emotions drove this one -- don't tell me! I enjoy the mystery, but I am curious...

    • Nikkij504gurl profile image

      Nikki Wicked 7 years ago from Louisiana

      well i dont get much of dreams, and frankly i dont recall ever having a nightmare really. life itself can be a dream or a nightmare. but i would love to actually be able to fly and breathe under water.

    • Randy Behavior profile image
      Author

      Randy Behavior 7 years ago from Near the Ocean

      Thanks Tom, I will try to do no less.

      Hi cdarayoung, nice to meet you.

      Morning Nikki. I do think of life as a play actually. Not sure I'd trade in nightmares if meant never to dream of flying or breathing under water.

    • Nikkij504gurl profile image

      Nikki Wicked 7 years ago from Louisiana

      interesting piece. i love how u kind of showed life as a play, one side of the curtain a dream the other side reality. seems like divorce was the best choice if it was such a nightmare. this definitly would have me waking in a sweat, but alone or not, at least when u wake the nightmare is gone, if only til you sleep again. i dont get nightmares or dreams much for that matter.

    • profile image

      cdarayoung 7 years ago

      Great piece of work...kudos

    • Tom Rubenoff profile image

      Tom Rubenoff 7 years ago from United States

      A poem is one thing, but when a person adds their personal power to it, puts their soul behind it, it becomes irresistible.

    • Randy Behavior profile image
      Author

      Randy Behavior 7 years ago from Near the Ocean

      Hi ben, how different?

      Thanks Tim, unfortunately I have a lot to draw from.

    • profile image

      tlmntim9 7 years ago

      Together we were the nightmare

      You really have a way phrasing the most beautiful and powerful things

      Tim W

      tlmntim9

    • BenWritings profile image

      BenWritings 7 years ago from Save me from, Tennessee

      Nice!

      i liked fact/fiction fall

      You seem to have been writing in a different style lately

    • Randy Behavior profile image
      Author

      Randy Behavior 7 years ago from Near the Ocean

      Took me a couple hours to find a picture I liked. Thanks Mentalist.

    • Mentalist acer profile image

      Mentalist acer 7 years ago from A Voice in your Mind!

      What a waking nightmare,the picture states it all.;)

    • Randy Behavior profile image
      Author

      Randy Behavior 7 years ago from Near the Ocean

      That is short and concise alekhouse.

    • alekhouse profile image

      Nancy Hinchliff 7 years ago from Essex Junction, Vermont

      Wow!

    working

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