Poem: Letter of Complaint to Parking Control

Do you ever despair and think the Parking Wardens are out to get you?

I write many letters of complaint about parking tickets (the formal name is Parking Control Notice, or PCN for short). My appeals are always rejected initially by the local Council Parking Office, but almost always when I appeal to the Parking Tribunal, the parking fine is dismissed.

Usually the Council decides not to fight it out in court.

As I have never yet had to attend Court over a Parking Fine, I have not discovered whether it is because the Council take the view that it's not worth the time and expense going to Court, or whether my written representations are so moving that my light shines out like a beacon.

But it still annoys me, and here's one letter of complaint to Parking Control, in the form of a poem, which I didn't send.

They will seriously affect your precious credit rating

Unpaid Fines May Have Indirect Consequences

Picture the scene:

You are angry because you think you have been treated unjustly, so you refuse to pay your fine

Did you realize that if you ignore or refuse to pay a parking fine, this will be entered on your credit rating score?

The local authority first sends a letter threatening you with the bailiffs, and we all know what that means.

But thinking it through, what happens when you need to apply for a mortgage? Why, they check your credit rating of course.

What happens if you apply for a job where upright character is imperative? They check virtually everything known about you. This doesn't mean they won't employ you, but they would certainly weigh it up with other factors. Hence my allusions in the poem below to the Police and MI5.

Now you're not laughing so much, are you?

Just for elucidation in the poem, "OAP" is the English initialism for "Old Age Pensioner"

To Parking Control

I parked my car at night

With my blue badge displayed

In a disabled bay

Wouldn't you think it was all right?

No.?

You'd be right if you thought it was wrong

So what was my heinous crime?

I omitted to second guess you

And didn't display the time.

First you charged me, an OAP,

A hundred pounds, which I wouldn't pay

So you doubled it,

Simultaneously threatening

The bailiffs and

A county court judgment

Which you warned would affect my credit

Shredding my reputation.............

So my punishment would be

A fine greater than my weekly income

Invasion of my castle and

Inability to raise a loan

Or volunteer for the Police force

............Or MI5

If you could impose the death penalty

Would I still be alive?

© Diana Grant 13 September 2009

The trouble is, when you are that angry, you are unlikely to want a book about anger, but maybe your nearest and dearest could read it out loud to you in one of your moments of calm!

You can change the wording and put them on different products if you like

A very angry man:

T-shirt - Shouting Man: You Said What??

by GloriousConfusion

Fighting for the Inheritance - T-Shirt

by GloriousConfusion

Mousepad - Let's Make it Legal -

by GloriousConfusion

See more of my designs in

my Zazzle Store: Glorious Confusion

This photo-design is actually taken from an old copperplate manuscript of a legal conveyance which I used to own as part of a collection of legal documents