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British Summer - Verdict of a Dog Reporter.

Updated on March 22, 2016
Source

Problems with Dog days of British Summer-Time

Summer-Time is a fun time, but not without its problems.

British Summer-Time is a wild, unpredictable thing that no human can second-guess. Neither can a mere Chimp with a keyboard. So how can I write an article about the problems of British Summer-Time?

I can't.

So the only sensible thing to do, therefore - Is to let my DOG explain the problems of British Summer-Time.

Problem #1 - British weather means... Your Mini-Me gets lost in the SNOW!

So where is Little Buddy? Lets play - Spot The Mini-Me!
So where is Little Buddy? Lets play - Spot The Mini-Me!

Unseasonal weather is normal. Normal weather for the time of year is not. Understanding this teaches important British mental skills such as Double-Think.

Problem #2 - Holidays with the family mean... Having to POSE for endless Holiday Photographs

DOG - "Take the bloody picture already! I can't stand like this forever."
DOG - "Take the bloody picture already! I can't stand like this forever."

Above is an example of how to take a British style holiday snap.

It is British tradition that when taking holiday pictures you frame the shot to cut some or all of the subjects head off. Some traditionalists go so far as to miss the subject entirely and photograph empty sky or their own feet.

Problem #3 - Free Time means... Endless Summer D.I.Y. jobs.

Work like a dog on home improvement
Work like a dog on home improvement

Because Home Improvement is Compulsory.

Problem #4 - All outside activities mean... More work for the Curtain Twitchers.

Demonstration of how to be a Curtain Twitcher
Demonstration of how to be a Curtain Twitcher

Canine Curtain Twitchers are the ONLY non-annoying Twitcher.

Problem #5 - Duration of UK summer means... It might be over, before you even get your shoes on!

British summer is short
British summer is short

The scene - It's the 28th of June and it's been hailing all day. Suddenly you realise you can no longer hear the hammering of chunks of ice upon your window. Yes, the sun is out and summer has finally started for real. Sprint outside this very second and make the most if it, it will be over in a fortnight (or four hours, some years).

The preoccupied and/or the unobservant, can sometimes fail to notice the fleeting British summer and will be forced to wait another year for their dose of sunlight. Occasionally even the alert can miss it, due simply to not running outside fast enough. Reaction speed and physical fitness can make all the difference - so get yourself a dog and walk them.

May your summers be pleasant and may your dog return your umbrella, when they're not.

Source

British Newspaper "The Sun" - 19th June 2013

Source

Included, in case you thought this Hubpages article was humorous, rather than factual reporting.

The Sun newspaper clearly agrees with my dogs' verdict on British summer.

So there can't be any doubt.....right?

PROBLEM - You want free Simpsons art.  SOLUTION  - Click on me I'll lead you to some!
PROBLEM - You want free Simpsons art. SOLUTION - Click on me I'll lead you to some! | Source

Rover Reporter says

Problem - Keyboards are tricky to use without fingers.

Solution - Have your pet human type your report as you dictate it.

Problem - Human doesn't understand your dictation.

Solution - Bark S L O W L Y

Problem - Your human still doesn't understand you.

Solution - Maybe your human is deaf. Bark louder!

Where is the Dog Reporter reporting from?

Source

Problems of British Winter-Time - Summers are Soggy - Autumns are Soggier - Winter is Underwater!

Flooded Lowestoft Main Street - December 2013
Flooded Lowestoft Main Street - December 2013 | Source
All About Border Collies - United States Border Collie Club Website
All About Border Collies - United States Border Collie Club Website | Source

All About Border Collies

United States Border Collie Club Website

Here is a website that boasts that it's one of the most comprehensive Border Collie sites on the web.

It is certainly worth a visit by anyone, who loves Border Collies. I could spend hours just browsing their forums and there is so much more.

To go check out this site click on the link under the logo ------>

This page has become bittersweet. - My dog died of stomach complications and stroke ( Sunday 2 Feb 2014 ).

Last photo of my dog, Billy. (Oct 2013)
Last photo of my dog, Billy. (Oct 2013)
Source

Now - Over to our Rover Reporters

Roving Canine Reporters

You may have to type their report for them.

You do speak dog, don't you?

Latest from our Roving Canine Reporters - As transcribed by their pet humans

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    • MichaelWSmithJr profile image

      Michael W Smith Jr. 3 years ago from Florida

      Love the Dog and the wit!

    • ChimpWithKeyboard profile image
      Author

      ChimpWithKeyboard 3 years ago from East coast of England in the county of Suffolk

      @paulahite: Thank you for your kind words.

    • paulahite profile image

      Paula Hite 3 years ago from Virginia

      I'm really sorry to know that you lost Billy. It looks like he was a wonderful companion.

    • profile image

      sybil watson 4 years ago

      This is hilarious! I enjoyed having a glimpse of a British summer.

    • ChimpWithKeyboard profile image
      Author

      ChimpWithKeyboard 4 years ago from East coast of England in the county of Suffolk

      @greenspirit: Yes - Fourteen mile dog-paddle to the north, along the coastline or alternately take the A12 road.

    • greenspirit profile image

      poppy mercer 4 years ago from London

      Lowestoft...that near lovely Southwold and Walberswick isn''t it?

    • lgOlson profile image

      L. Olson 4 years ago from Northern Arizona

      I love this! Keep um coming!

    • goldenrulecomics profile image

      goldenrulecomics 4 years ago

      very funny!

    • Dabdab profile image

      Dabdab 4 years ago

      This is a good laugh - thanks

    • profile image

      anonymous 4 years ago

      Great lens. Thanks for sharing!

    • profile image

      ChristyZ 4 years ago

      This is such a great lens, I love your dog! You're very creative:)

    • GrimRascal profile image

      GrimRascal 4 years ago from Overlord's Castle

      What an adorable dog.

    • profile image

      RinchenChodron 4 years ago

      Very creative and funny lens! So unique for introducing us to your pet! Well done.

    • anne mohanraj profile image

      anne mohanraj 4 years ago

      Enjoyed this lens!

    • profile image

      moonlitta 4 years ago

      Your dog has found a decent chimp to transcribe his thoughts, I believe;)

    • aesta1 profile image

      Mary Norton 4 years ago from Ontario, Canada

      Pictures really speak a lot.

    • justramblin profile image

      justramblin 4 years ago

      What a great and patient photo subject your pup is. Love his captions. Next, please let us know how he did with the tile job. I my pup is nowhere as handy and can't figure out the grouting stuff.

    • WriterJanis2 profile image

      WriterJanis2 5 years ago

      Cute dog.

    • profile image

      anonymous 5 years ago

      I have heard of Lowestoft lol of course I have.

    • SailingPassion LM profile image

      SailingPassion LM 5 years ago

      Good to know I have a dog reporter close by - I am close to Diss :-)