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put me to sleep

Updated on December 3, 2011

so ill the heart

to dry the pen

picking up nothing

refusing to begin again

wondering slowly

where i used to tread

and worrying only

if it will look familiar again

where is the space

where i used to lay

and take in inspiration

what do i say

there's nothing

nothing

here anymore

that makes me want to open the door

the writing is gone

i cant find the page

where i left off with myself

furious rage

to angry to care

feeling ridiculous and broken

is it a nightmare i fell into

where i have awoken

i cannot lose grip

on this stifling air

i am breathing in nothing

and writing out blanks

white white white

the page stares at me

not even a letter

to comfort the weak

missing the knowledge

of the truth that i feel

at the core of the center

of what makes me real.

it must have worn off

the me that was brought

with the kiss of my shoulder

i have fought and i have fought

to feel more like me

but who is that now.

just laying there trying to dream

the light has gone out

the candles burned down

the wick's disappeared

and i wonder

and i wonder

am i the only one here.







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    • AudreyHowitt profile image

      Audrey Howitt 5 years ago from California

      I loved this piece--it spoke to me in so many ways---such a wonderful way to write about the process and the lack of inspiration.

    • profile image

      Chris 5 years ago

      Great words! :)

    • Nikkij504gurl profile image

      Nikkij504gurl 5 years ago from Louisiana

      A whole lot of something came out of nothing :)

      This was really fantastic!

    • the pink umbrella profile image
      Author

      the pink umbrella 5 years ago from the darkened forest deep within me.

      thanks guys, i dont know what to say other than i just cant find the pen.

    • Nikkij504gurl profile image

      Nikkij504gurl 5 years ago from Louisiana

      well yu seemed to have found the words here

    • epigramman profile image

      epigramman 5 years ago

      ..even when you write a piece of not being inspired my mighty lover in ink - you inspire me - lol - because these words, these notions, these ideas, these feelings come from someone special and unique like you Steph Shakespeare and that always make my visit here to see and read you - a memorable one indeed.

      lake erie time 10:39am and good to see you writing again, and believe me this is great writing.

    • profile image

      Johnnny 5 years ago

      WOW! Steph, that was beautiful. I miss reading your words. So much passion in your heart even if it is the painful brand.

    • profile image

      4elements 5 years ago

      wow this was awesomely written. I enjoyed the read, blessings

    • the pink umbrella profile image
      Author

      the pink umbrella 5 years ago from the darkened forest deep within me.

      i heard a very wise woman say once (becca hubbard woods) that you can tell who your loyal friends are when they wait for you every time you constantly drift in and out.

      you last 4 are among those loyal hub friends i speak of. even those of you who may no longer even have a page here, have come to see me. i havnt written anything for what feels like too long, and to come on tonight and see that i had 4 comments waiting, well...

      thank you so much for being more than the void i set out to send my passion. i had no idea when i signed up for hubpages that i would end up smiling at comments written by such talented writers, and have those writers become a friendly familiarity.

      also when i started, i was in such a desperately lost and hollow place. longing and looking for a window to gaze out of. instead i stumble apon a group of people who have the same passion as i do, and that time and time again compliment me on my ability to put my thoughts into words.

      well, thank you my friends.

    • epigramman profile image

      epigramman 5 years ago

      ...well you've been there time and time again for me too Steph ..... it's a two way street and I am glad that both met on the same one ------ lake erie time ontario canada 7:08am just arrived home from night shift on probably the coldest morning so far .......

    • the pink umbrella profile image
      Author

      the pink umbrella 5 years ago from the darkened forest deep within me.

      epigramman- no kidding. its getting pretty cold here at night as well. the weather channel said it was 45 or something here last night, but there was no way, it was like stepping into a freezer when i stepped outside.

    • PDXKaraokeGuy profile image

      Justin W Price 5 years ago from Juneau, Alaska

      wonderful piece of writing. Up and shared!

    • profile image

      Poetic Fool 5 years ago

      For a work to be living the ink the pen uses is the writer's own blood poured out onto the page. As your poem so eloquently says the pen is dry because the heart is ill. You've found your ink well and expressed this so beautifully. Wonderful word choice too! Great job Stephanie!

    • tom hellert profile image

      tom hellert 5 years ago from home

      Pink,

      I gotcha for sure I too have changed so much I am not sure who I was/am am I me or just pretending to be the me I used to know- but now am I playing me or am I this new me Am Istill me then or am I someone else? or not

      TH

    • the pink umbrella profile image
      Author

      the pink umbrella 5 years ago from the darkened forest deep within me.

      lol Tom. first of all, merry x mas! Second of all, well said. i wonder if me now, and me a year ago would be friends with each other. probably not. Is it weird that i think, if i were a man, id treat me like a queen lol. anyway, its late and im sure im making no sense. have a happy christmas!!!

    • tom hellert profile image

      tom hellert 5 years ago from home

      Pink,

      i know id be freinds with me because-i know deep down i'm a decent person and i like allot od the same things i like...i rout for the same teams Me and i both like boobs-we like the same foods and the only problem i could see is me hitting on my wife...id have to kick my ass...but thats just me..or me

      TH

      hey i finally joined facebook - i am using the alias- Tom hellert- find me ... too mny stephanie Richardsons..

      TH

    • tom hellert profile image

      tom hellert 5 years ago from home

      oh n merry christas to you

      TH

    • the pink umbrella profile image
      Author

      the pink umbrella 5 years ago from the darkened forest deep within me.

      im under the name stephanie-jade

    • Jspot profile image

      lost love 5 years ago from Flames of water and love

      Jaded I really enjoy your words, even when I wasn't able to be here. Guess if I behave myself, we won't have a problem. You lifted me up at a time when I was too afraid to write. I will never forget that. Stay you in all ways.

    • tom hellert profile image

      tom hellert 5 years ago from home

      SJR,

      Ko...SEE YA THERE lol

    • sligobay profile image

      sligobay 5 years ago from east of the equator

      WRITERS BLOCK FOR CHRISTMAS LED TO MY SANTA CLAUSE IS COMING TO TOWNE HUB. HOW TRITE AND GOSH, I THOUGHT.

      Yet, it covered the void empty blank white piece of paper. Dreams and muses and unconsciousness are not the only source of inspiration. Reality, yours, mine and ours is the stuff of writing for authors. When I can't write, I read my favorite friends and authors. Read, Read and Read some more. Then, I ask: "How would have I said that?" My thoughts come from questions that I ask myself. Don't despair sweet Pink'Um. Words and inspiration come to us when they are ready to come. Hope you enjoyed Chrismas and best wishes for a Happy Creative AWESOME NEW YEAR in 2012.

    • Deepak Chaturvedi profile image

      Deepak Chaturvedi 5 years ago from New Delhi, India

      great one

    • KDF profile image

      KDF 5 years ago from Central Illinois

      Deep, very deep. I like it!

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