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Revenge, Inc. Part 1: A Short Story
Author's Note
There are many factors in which inspired me to write this story and I owe much to some of the current events of the world, certain movies, with its wide range of characters, books, graphic novels, and especially comic books. This is the first time I'm giving this genre a shot towards what I hope, will be something that I can build upon. Please feel free to comment as I am always curious to know what others think of my work. I hope you enjoy...
-ODP
Revenge, Inc.
You don’t know me and I know why. But like everyone else, you didn’t know that I was watching you, did you? Of course that’s for the best, because who the hell wants to be watched—unless that is you're one of those crazies I see from time to time—cross-dressers and the like, but I won’t get into that. My point is that we all have to be watched. Just ‘cause you’re old enough to not have to be watched by your parents doesn’t mean you don’t need watchin’. Even as adults, we gotta have someone watch over us—you know, to make sure we don’t stick our tongues into wall sockets and keep our filthy hands out of the cookie jar, or not touch things that don’t belong to us, like eleven year-old girls who haven’t yet been fitted for skinny diapers—you know the ones—and that’s where I come in.
Now, ask yourself these questions: Have you ever been late on alimony or child support more than a few times? Have you sold drugs of any sort? Have you ever taken anything that wasn’t voluntarily given to you? Have you ever physically abused anyone, be it a woman or child? Obviously, these are trick questions, because if you answered yes to any of them, you would have known me well by now, which brings us back to the first thing I said: You don’t know me and I know why.
I’ve done my share of vengeance. I’ve knocked out teeth with my bare fists, punched holes through walls with someone else’s head, dislocated a few knee caps with the use of a hammer, and have even castrated a few pedophiles with my katana so to cure them of that Burning Urge and in short help to get rid of their little problem...But I’ve never killed a man and that’s the truth. I am the finder of lost children and the avenger of the innocent. Death would just be an easy way out for these fools and believe me, they deserved it—every single goddamn one of them. One of my subjects once had the balls to ask me this question while my hand was wrapped tightly around his throat no less:
“Who the fuck do you think you are anyway? God?” This made me smile, so I say to him, ‘There is no God, because if there was, I wouldn’t need to be here.’
And that was when I really began to go to work on him and even put a bit of extra overtime into it so to speak. By the time I was through, he looked like he washed his face with spaghetti sauce but hey, he’s gonna make it and will be making those payments to his three year-old kid out in Atlantic City just like he promised. You see? This is what happens when you don’t take on your responsibilities and cause others to suffer. After freshening up, I’m sure he’d be able to get back to work. The last thing I wanted was for him to miss work and miss even more payments just ‘cause of little ole’ me.
“Forgive them father, for they have sinned.” The father grunted.
“That is not for you to judge, my son. The Lord will make His own judgments, as this is His Kingdom…Do you have something you want to confess tonight?”
“No, I have nothing to confess, as I have done no wrong.”
“For reasons I cannot divulge, I don’t believe you, if that is my station…If that really is the truth, then why are you here?”
“I told you already…Forgive them father, for they have sinned.” The father placed his hand upon his face for a moment and then took in a deep breath.
“This is not how this works, my son. You cannot ask for forgiveness for someone else’s sins…It does not work that way. We’ve been through this before.”
“Then who will, father? Who will ask for forgiveness?”
“THEY SHOULD!” Again, the father covered his own face again, both embarrassed and surprised by his own outburst. I could’ve sworn I heard him say that he was sorry and if so, it would’ve been the first time. He then cleared his throat and said it again, only this time around, he was much calmer: “They should.”
“They can’t, father”
“Why not? Are they busy?’
“No, nothing like that”
“Then what?" I could hear him, as he was trying so hard to suppress that anger again.
“They are unable to.”
“Are you saying they asked you to come? Because if they did—“
“No, not at all”
"Then why are you here?"
“I told you already, to ask for forgiveness.”
“Okay, okay…What are their sins?”
“I brought a list…Here.”
“Again, this is not how I run my congregation!”
“Well, would you like me to read it for you? I can do that too.”
“I KNOW HOW TO READ!” Echoes again, throughout The House of God. “And what makes you so sure these…People want to be forgiven, huh?”
“Because they certainly won’t receive forgiveness from me and especially not from those who they have hurt badly…Because no one else is going to, that’s why.’
“Right…So maybe you are the one that has sinned. Maybe this is really your list that you compiled.” I had to laugh. He was trying so hard to get back at me.
“No, father. I’m not the one that has sinned. The sinners created this list, not I. I’m just simply…Delivering it.”
“Are you now? Is that your calling?”
“You know it is, dad. I don’t criticize you for your calling, so don’t criticize me for mine. And if Haley were here today…”
“Haley’s case is unfortunate, son…There was nothing you could do.”
“Exactly. So your granddaughter is just a case, huh? She was raped and taken from me, from us—your blood! Unfortunate is not the word here.”
“You know me better than that. I can understand your anger—any father would want justice. But it’s blood and revenge you seek, not justice. You’re filled with rage to no end. Doing what you do will not bring her back”
“They showed Haley no mercy, so why should I? Where the FUCK were those cops when she needed them?”
“THAT IS ENOUGH! Remember where you are!” After a moment of silence went by, I nodded my head. He was right and I was tired. I stood up and pushed the list to him. ‘You are the one that needs forgiving, you know that? You don’t even believe in Him.’
"No, I don’t. But the people on this list do…They do now after they met me."
"Peace! I will pray for you."
"Don’t waste your breath, father."
I have an abandoned apartment in the crux of a ‘Y’ intersection between Haven Avenue, Perdition Street, and the rundown corner of Ware Road which the low-lives happily nicknamed, ‘Nowhere Road.’ I like it here because the rent is dirt cheap and the crime is sky-high. There is plenty for me to do here. I live among the sewer rats and cockroaches and that is not by any stretch some damn metaphor or anything, or maybe it is. After having my father and son talk, I headed home for more necessary equipment. There was so much more for me to do tonight.
But as soon as I get home from the rooftop and through my window, something isn’t right. I come in slow and listen with all I’m worth. I can hear the rats in the walls scurrying it’s so goddamn quiet. You can never be too careful. That’s it, I heard a whisper, now another. I heard another guy’s throat click and can’t help but smile: Rookies.
“It’s about fucking time,” I say to my door. “It sure as hell took you guys long enough!” Just then, I reach behind me and unsheathed my katana and readied it like so many times before. Haley and I were going to be together again.
© Copryright 2009. All Rights Reserved.
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Comments
Thank you for the well written post, very rare ineedd to find some one who writes and makes perfect sense on the web now days. Will keep in touch, totally enjoy reading your site!
I got what you mean , appreciate it for ptuitng up.Woh I am pleased to find this website through google. Don't be afraid of opposition. Remember, a kite rises against not with the wind. by Hamilton Mabie.
This is really great. It feels like the Punisher. I can't wait to read the next one. Thank you for writing this.
New follower, fan, subscriber
Sweet introduction, I have a lot of reading to do.
Very cool story so far. I will catch up on the rest.
Thank you for and excellent story. The world loves heros. This one took care of a dead beat that did not take care of his child. It reminds us all that right and wrong can still be options, and not all this in between pity for whining dead beat parents is not the way it is supposed to be.It is just plain wrong to leave children wishing for their basic needs. Great story. It does not get any better than this. God Bless You.
dohn, I'm hooked, what an honor to read this before it gets picked up by some big time publisher... Peace :)
Hi Dohn, I can see from the comments that you don't need me tell you this is good stuff. I have to catch up, so I will be coming back often. Good shot!
Dohn, lots of intriguing philosophical stuff here. It's tough to keep a dark, flawed hero likeable. I think you're on the right track; he's got a moral code. This excerpt really starts to gain traction toward the end.
I've got a novella mostly written about a real life vampire (in other words, a real human being who drinks blood and knows he isn't immortal.) He turned out to be a nicer guy than I thought! Funny how these things evolve.
Since you got this novel completed now, I'm wondering where this ended up?
Thanks for sharing!
Nice work here, you are creative.
such a nice read! Thanks. Waiting for some more
Dohn, I have linked this hub with my hub In The Grip Of Darkness Part 2. I will continue to link this series with mine.
Because of Rebecca E and her list of favorite hubbers I have found you.
I really enjoyed this first hub, and realize I am woefully behind and have much reading to do to catch up.
I love a good story and am very interested in how this will develope. I am one of those people who if interested in a story end up inhaling the book way too quickly and then find myself with nothing to read until I can get to the bookstore again.
Thank you for giving me a treasure chest full of stories I can now pull from. :)
ok....its official . .i have printed out all the parts of this story ( idid in in the office so my printer wouldnt get too tired) and its time I gave it a read . . .Ill be back with my thoughts ;) Im so excited for this one;)))))
After having heard your Revenge series mentioned several times, most recently by Rebecca E., I thought I should come check it out. This is great so far and I'm hooked. I'll have to read one per day or something until I'm caught up.
I'm looking forward to finding out what comes next.
Oh yes, I love the picture of the clearly mad kitty in the bird cage. That bird is sure dead if he ever gets out. That made me lol.
I just read your first installment and it is great.I look forward to reading the complete works.This is definitely a worthy investment of my time.Already I am trying to anticipate what comes about in part 2.
Dohn - So sorry that it has taken me this long to get around to begin reading your story of Revenge. You are a truly an amazing writer. I do believe you have found your niche. This genre seems to be a terrific fit for you.
I love the intro, wonderful job in creating this very powerful character.
It's gonna take me some time to catch up, but I am so looking forward to it. I absolutely love the visualization that is goes through my mind throughout reading.
Great Job!
Sage
This is wonderful, the way you put this together! Thanks for sharing with the gang!
Took little time for me too finally able to grasped the form of your character, Dohn. And when I got one suprisingly for me his form become something like 'sin city' character in my head. Interesting! I'm surely will read more!
I am reading this in the proper order now, Dohn! I read your latest chapter and loved it! reading the whole thing now!!! You sure write great! Yes, I see you like graphic novels and comics! So do I! I'm re-reading "Akira" right now!! Will visit often!! : )
Holy Moly! 18 installments! That's fantastic. Let's see, if I read 3 a day... I could be caught up with everyone else in a week. Or I could be a slacker and still catch up in 2 weeks. I guess that's do-able.
I know I'm late to join this party, but figured I better quit putting it off before I got any further behind!
Dohn, you did the best thing here with the ending, you dropped a bombshell then stopped, encouraging us all to read on. I've read plenty of your hubs, but this is my first read of your series. Looking forward to reading more.
Hey you! I figured it's high time I sat down to read this series. This is the first part and I'm hooked. I wonder how the character develops in the next installments - will he remain a Casey Jones from TMNT sort of fella? Will he meet someone that will make him change his ways, a woman perhaps? Do supernatural elements enter the picture? Well, that's how my mind is working at the moment. On to the next one!
I am new to Hub Pages and boy am I glad that I found your page!!! It has given me the inspiration and kick in the pants I needed to get my writing out there for all the world to see. :-) I am going to finish reading all the installments of this story, and then I will read some of your other writing as well. Keep up the great work, and keep inspiring passion in scary writers like me. :-) Take care.
Wow! This is really powerful. And gripping too. I have to admit I was holding my breath at some points. I liked the father in the church - that was a nice touch - I don't know why but it added to the 'lost' feeling of the main character becayse I get the impression that father and son are both searching for something. I loved the dialogue - it was like being absorbed into a film. What's the violence level like in the next chapters - I only ask because I've fainted at violent films before. (oh dear, it's not the sort of thing you should admit I know...!)
By the way, I've found out the following chapters to I, fraternity - don't know where I was looking before - better do more eye exercises).
Cheerio!
Hey Dohn...
Great appetizer, my dear friend! It sure leaves you wanting for more! There`s a powerful inside in the protagonist that you can grab right away!
I look forward to keep on reading with your story until I catch up...
Keep on giving them hell, Avenger!
Bloody Hell Dohn, this is brilliant! I didn't know what to expect, and after i read it, i want to read more!
Ok...getting into it...ready to read more. Great start to a suspenseful story!
Sorry Dohn I got side tracked from your intriguing Revenge, Inc Story half way in to the 4th part as I had too much going on at once, I really enjoyed it so I am starting over from the beginning. I apologize as it was certainly not from a lack of interest.Thanks.
Dohn, I've been sailing a bit too much lately to keep up with your stories, but I had a brief stop in San Blas yesterday, and today I started this series of yours. I will read more soon and have enjoyed it much. Thanks, JM
Very nice. Excellent prose! I look forward to reading more.
Ive wanted to write a novel for years , and ive tried several times . I think you inspired me to write again
this is really good when you get published I will buy your book. I will read the rest of your work now. thanks.
Great story! Dark and dirty and very human!
nice to see that youthful visage once again
Just got started reading your series. Wild and wonderful. will continue...
VERY cool! Glad I found you. I'm looking forward to reading more of your hubs. Best, GPAGE
Okay - I'm hooked! On to the next installment!
WoW ! Your story sounds like it should be a motion picture.
With all the details you put in it. A true story it is based on so well.
Dohn...is that you Dohn?? You could have knocked me down with a feather! Very different from your usual style and yet as good - in a different way - if you know what I mean. As someone said earlier - is Hollywood calling?
I am enjoying the story, but I must admit it was easy to continue reading since it reminds me of the TV shows "DEXTER", and "LEVERAGE". Maybe you should send some of your work to them. Good Luck
hi Dohn, this is a start of a long read to your novel, have written a hub the art of forgiveness..let us see, but i will definitely read your story, I am hooked and I am your fan till you stop writing!
Wow, I missed your newest articles somehow....Have to start to read immediately. Up till now - is excellent!!! I enjoy every word...
Well versed. You're an awesome writer! Keep it up! :)
Hey, I sure wish I could think of something good and original to write here, but, wow!! I really loved this!! It sorta reminded me of The Maxx, just in his defense of the innocent and all. I am so excited to read the rest!! You have a true talent, and your such a nice guy too!!
Cool story, great character and voice. Looking forward to reading the rest.
Great job, that was some pleasant reading Dohn.
I can hardly wait for the next installment. Thanks dohn.
I can hardly wait for the next installment. Thanks dohn.
I agree with most people here. You definitely have the gift of the gab and you make this super amazing stories for us to share and rejoice. More often than not, revenge and forgiveness are like night and day. If one can learn how to have forgiveness in the heart, they can forget about revenge too. Great article. Will be looking forward to the next few.. which I saw you already have.
You have a powerful gift. I loved this story. It is gritty and dark, and yet on the cusp of exploding into something even more wonderful. I'm off to read the next installment. Then maybe I'll find that other hub you asked me to read. :O
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