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Road RAGE: A Life Lesson

Updated on January 3, 2015

Road Rage: A life lesson

I was driving down the 4 lane doing about 65 on a warm winter day when I came up to a lady driving a minivan and talking on her cell phone. She was going at least 10 under the speed limit if not more so I decided to move over and pass. That's when it all began.

A young man, I am guessing about 25 came flying up behind me in his brand new 4x4 Ford extended cab pick up. He must have been doing at least a hundred and it didn't matter my speed it wasn't fast enough for him. I moved slowly around the lady in the minivan and he pulled up beside me. He was yelling inside the truck at the top of his lungs and giving me half a peace sign. I couldn't tell most of what he was saying but I could pick out a few of the choice words. Then he sped up and jerked his truck over in front of me almost hitting the front end of my van. We had left the slower vehicles behind and I thought it was all over, until he decided to slam on his brakes in front of me. Well I may be old but I still have cat like reflexes and so I just stood on my brakes and matched his speed. Then he took off like a bat out of hell and I was sure that would be the last I would see of him.

I meandered on my way to the grocery store to pick up a few things for dinner, pulled into the parking lot and there it was that brand new Ford truck. I pulled in beside him and opened my door. Before I could get out I heard the kid’s voice for the first time. He said, “You don’t want any trouble from me old man, I can whip you in a fair fight.” I looked him up and down and when a man’s right he’s right. He looked like he had just come from the gym and his biceps had muscles on top of the muscles. I am sure his drug of choice wasn’t spinach but he did remind me a little of Popeye. I started to work my way between the vehicles when a fella built like a mountain got out of a little Honda parked across and behind my truck. He had heard what the kid had said and I wondered if he was with him. This fella looked like Hagrid from Harry Potter and even though I thought I could handle the kid, I was sure this one would be more challenging. He looked straight at me and said, “You okay pops or do you need a hand.” I smiled and said thanks but I’m okay. He winked at me and made his way into the store.

Well I finally made it to the back of the truck and saw the kid coming my way. I looked at him and asked, “Care to repeat what you just said?”

Well this seemed to piss him off more and his face turned red and replied, I said I can whip you ass in a fair fight.”

I said, “Care to bet the title of your truck on that?”

He said, “Old man if you can whip me you can have my truck and my house.”

That’s when I hit him, he never saw the tire iron as I watched his hat fly from his head and float to the pavement. No I didn’t hit him in the head; I did it Tanya Harding style, striking him just behind the knee. He fell to the ground pleading for his life and crying like a baby.”

I walked a little closer and kicked him in the knee and said,” Hand me the keys to your truck, I will get the address to your house later.”

He suddenly realized that maybe he needed to get up and try to defend his property. I tapped him gently with the tire iron on his left shoulder to change his mind. Well maybe it wasn’t very gentle, I was exercising a little tough love in my mind and wanted to be firm. He fell back to the ground and dug his keys from his pocket laying them on the pavement beside him. I reached down and picked them up and headed for the cab as he cried like a baby for me to leave his truck alone.

Well I jumped in fired it up and put it in reverse. I barely missed him as he rolled out of the way. I never had driven a truck this long an it presented a problem as I back out of the parking spot. So I crank the steering wheel as far as it would go and stepped on the gas just a little too hard. I didn't quite make it out when I heard a crunch. I had hit the Honda that transported Hagrid through time to get his muggle groceries. The kid was still on the ground but seemed to be in a lot more pain. I am not sure why. I missed him by a mile.

I got back out of the truck and saw the big man coming out of the store looking down at his bag full of groceries. That's when I had a change of heart. I helped the young man to his feet, brushed him off and help him to the cab of the truck. I told him I hadn't won the truck or the house because it wasn't a fair fight and besides who needs a truck that had just been wrecked.

I left him there still wondering what had happened as I headed into the store. I passed the giant and said sorry about your car, it seems that kid can't drive even in the parking lot. He dropped his bag of groceries and sprinted to see the damage. I didn't wait around to see what happened next.

When I came out of the store the Honda was on the back of a tow truck and an Ambulance with the lights on was leaving the parking lot at top speed. I didn't see the large man or the kid so I can only guess what might have happen.

I put my groceries in the work van and headed toward the house. I hope that kid learned a lesson or two. Like it doesn't pay to get angry and express your rage on the highway. And never invite an old man to a fair fight. Sometimes Life is just not fair.

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© 2015 AQuintinSmith

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      AQuintinSmith 5 years ago from Paradise on Earth

      @Commandrix: Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. There were no young men or Ford trucks hurt in the process of making this. It was meant to be humorous.

    • Commandrix profile image

      Heidi 5 years ago from Benson, IL

      That's a rotten thing to do to somebody, but then, the kid picked the fight so I guess he kind of had it coming.