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Home Owner Blames Sexism for Frequent Home Invasions

Updated on January 13, 2016

Typical Working Class Home

Just an ordinary house.
Just an ordinary house. | Source

Home Owner Blames Sexism for Frequent Home Invasions

Henry King has shot and killed nine armed intruders on nine separate occasions in his own home this past year and has yet to be charged with any crime. His middle class neighborhood has otherwise been crime-free for more than twenty years, when the suburban housing community was built.

When asked if he’s either had an amazing run of bad or good luck he responds with, “It’s all a matter of perspective. The first couple of times it was a severe emotional experience but now it’s just annoying. I have to clean up the mess and the cops don’t pay for anything. Transporting the body to the morgue, I get billed for that. After the first shooting I replaced the entryway carpet with vinyl flooring, but that also became stained from the blood. And the blood spatter on the drywall, no amount of paint covers it and it actually started to stink after a while. I’ve since re-done the living room walls with Masonite and tiled the floor; cleans right up with a little bleach.”

Questioned about whether or not he’s taken steps to mitigate intrusions, such as adding security lights or other measures to deter crime he simply states, “If I deter them they’ll just go rob somebody else.”

Pressed further on the issue of simple deterrents, such as repairing his front porch light or picking up the phone book in his driveway he says, “I didn't throw that phone book there, so I ain't picking it up. As for the little snot who shot out my porch light with a bb gun, he needs to apologize and replace it.”

He shows me a video from his external front porch security camera. “Here he is, prying right at the jamb by the lock with a crowbar. There, he’s got the door open. They all do it just like that. It’s as though they all watched the same You Tube video on how to break in a front door. He draws his gun and steps inside. I fire one shot. There, he falls back dead. Got ‘em!”

Asked if he would distribute the videos, he says he gives the police copies of them. He deletes his copy after the police determine he did nothing wrong. I point out that it could be a valuable service to the public if news organizations could show the video and provide commentary. He says, “I don’t have a release for the person in the video. The family could drag me into civil court.”

I assure him that because it is on his property and shows the commission of a felony crime, it’s unlikely he’d be penalized. He snorts, “Yeah, and I’d have to pay a fancy lawyer a pile of money to say what you just said. No thanks.” He clicks his mouse and the video is deleted.

When I ask about regrets he simply complains that his insurance company refuses to pay for the cleanup and repairs. “And it ain't cheap,” he adds. Although the reason his home is targeted by armed burglars so frequently remains unclear, he does offer his insight. “I blame sexism. People go on the internet and see that a registered sex offender, a rapist, a convicted murder lives at this address and they assume it’s me. They also assume that guns aren't allowed in this home and think it’s a good target for a burglary.”

Pressed further about why this makes him a victim of sexism he states, “My wife is the one who’s the criminal who can’t have a gun. She was an English teacher who played grab-ass with her students and then during a violent confrontation with a parent she defended herself. Courts called it murder.”

He stops to take a breath, continues. “That’s how I learned that when Johnny Law comes around, keep your mouth shut and get a good lawyer, especially if you’re innocent. Otherwise you talk yourself right into a prison cell.”

Six years earlier, he met his wife while he was a junior in her high school English class. He is a veteran who served a four year enlistment in the Air Force as a Forward Air Controller. They were married last year after she was released from prison. She is currently on parole.

Henry wears a gun belt at home most of the time. When asked why, he just winks and says, “My wife’s a convicted murderer; can’t be too careful.”

He also went on to state that he and his wife are very much in love and, “The sex is amazing. Never a dull moment.”

The Persona

Typical veteran home owner.
Typical veteran home owner. | Source

Satire and Fake News

Satire and fake news sources do much to entertain us but also have the power to mislead the public as well. Sure, most people know better than to trust the internet. However, fake satire clown shows with a news-like façade have become a primary news source for many. These shows have the power to lay out a thought path that influences the core opinions of their viewers.

For those who have not yet learned to be skeptical of the internet, well-written and published fake news can also affect readers on a personal level. Legitimate news sources have actually cited fake satire articles as a source. So, readers beware. Verify everything!

Where do you stand?

Would you use deadly force to protect your family in your home?

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