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The Double Standard

Updated on May 30, 2013

Are You A Cougar?

Normally when groups of people are given a name, it's a negative. However being called a Cougar doesn't seem to be viewed as a negative by most women.

In fact many people complain about there being a double standard while some say if it's okay for the gander than it's also good for the goose.

We are going to have some fun with this topic and explore the controversy a bit more.

An Unexpected Journey

I recently read a book called "The Accidental Cougar" written by Tiffany N. York. There is little doubt that Ms. York is what would could be called undiscovered talent. Having read her blog "Single Writer Mom Rants" for quite some time I decided to take a chance on her book.

I must confess that as a middle aged man I don't think this book was written with me in mind. Not only did I struggle to relate to the main character, Nicole Woods, a single middle aged mother (can you see the problem?). I also struggled to relate to the 25 year old, Wil Blanco, who was pursing Nicole. It's not that I can't relate to 25 year old males, but as I can barely remember what I had for breakfast putting myself in Wil's shoes is not easy. However the life Ms. York has created for young Wil does have appeal.

What I did really enjoy about this book was the humor and comparing the writing style between the book and Ms. York's blog. Her sharp wit and real life experiences come through to make one want to keep turning the pages. In addition this book prompted me to want to learn more about the Cougar trend. A classic case of one read leading to the need to learn more.

Cougar History

This is not something new

The term "Cougar" when it relates to women appears to have originated in Western Canada, why or how no one seems to know- although it's probably a very good story. The term has since gone on to become a part of culture that requires no explanation.

However Cougar behavior is hardly a new activity. Catherine the Great Empress of Russia (1729-1796) would be considered the Queen of Cougars. Elizabeth I Queen of England was another woman who knew what she liked. More recent Cougars would include Mae West, Elizabeth Taylor, and Demi Moore.

Today the term Cougar is applied to women over thirty who express a preference for men who are at least eight years younger.

The Accidental Cougar
The Accidental Cougar

What started this whole hunting trip


New Zealand Cougars

The Kill Zone

If you are hunting what's your preference?

Latin Cougars - No translation required

It's Only A Number

What's your relationship age range?

See results

The Mystery

On average a man will marry a women who is half his age plus ten years. Thus we see Donald Trump or Hugh Hefner with much younger women and don't think much of it. Yet for some reason this behavior is less acceptable when it comes to women.

To make matters even more complex this issue comes with a twist. The movie "Twilight" resulted in large numbers of mature women becoming hysterical over teenage boys. Would anyone care to guess what the reaction would have been if middle aged men were lined up and yelling at teenage pop stars?

Thus the mystery, what is the standard for behavior and what is appropriate? Current trends suggest this issue is not going away.

Find A Cougar

THE ACCIDENTAL COUGAR: Top Ten Reasons Your Man Has an Older Woman on the Side, by Susan Anderson, M.Ed.
THE ACCIDENTAL COUGAR: Top Ten Reasons Your Man Has an Older Woman on the Side, by Susan Anderson, M.Ed.

Now this is a novel concept, hardly a book that one would expect to find. It appears the Cougar problem is reaching new heights, look out younger women- they are after your men!

How to Get a Teen-age Boy & What to Do With Him When You Get Him
How to Get a Teen-age Boy & What to Do With Him When You Get Him

The title alone is worth a second look, sadly for Cougars it turns out the target audience is actually teenage girls.

The Graduate (Special Edition)
The Graduate (Special Edition)

Reportedly a classic or manual for Cougars in training.


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