ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel
  • »
  • Books, Literature, and Writing»
  • Books & Novels»
  • Nonfiction

The Last Wave

Updated on August 17, 2016

I remember the day I told my brother I wanted to surf, to become as good as he was. He said " well then what are you waiting for kid?". He took me out to the water every day for six months after that. Teaching me, training me, guiding me.
I remember the day my brother told me he wanted to surf "Sri-Lanka". I said "well then what are you waiting for kid?". I never thought telling him that would bring us to where we are today. Me surfing alone. Him in a grave.
I told myself after the accident, it was my fault. I was the one who told him to do it. He surfed that wave for me and died because of me. My other brothers blame me. But no matter how much they hate me, it will never be close
to how much I hate myself for it. If I could go back I would tell him not to do it, tell him it wasnt safe. But I cant.


I was six the first time i surfed, and I was hooked after that. From that day on, there was nothing else I wanted to do. Gliding across the face of the wave is the best feeling in the world. The ocean is magical. It feels like nothing
else matters when I'm out there. But school has always been hard for me. I hate it. I have a hard time keeping friends because all the girls are cliquey and none of them surf. When they get together or go to parties, I cant go because
I surf all the time. I have nothing in common with them. I've always dreaded lunchtime because everyone would sit with their friends, and I didn't fit in. My brother taught me that it doesn't matter what people think about me or how
many friends I have. He taught me that doing what I love is more important than going out and getting drunk, and if my "friends" couldn't accept that then they weren't my real friends. I wish he was still here to give me good advice
like that.

I remember that day like it was yesterday. I remember him falling, the waves crashing on top of him, and my heart breaking as he didnt come back up. Everything went silent, I knew everyone around was screaming, but I couldnt hear
anything. I fell to my knees. He wasnt coming back. No more late night surf trips, travelling 200 miles just to ride one certain wave, and no more watching him surf. It was all gone. He was gone. It took almost two years for me to
really face it. I hadnt touched a surf board since that day. I shouldnt have been able to surf, while he was lying in a grave because of me. My mom said its what he'd want me to do, to continue on his legacy. But I didnt believe it. When I was
seven Michael said "Look out there. What do you see? I replied with " Water? ", "no!" he said. "Youre looking at it wrong. I see possibility, grace, a chance.", I didnt know what he was talking about until a year later when I surfed in
Hunnington beach, CA. Id never surfed waves so big. I was scared and he knew it, he looked at me and said "Possibility, grace,and a chance. Dont forget those three words". I rode nine waves that day. More than I ever had in one day, and
I did it because of him.

My mom told me that I was selfish. Selfish to just give up and stop surfing after everything. "He left you something. I just havent brought myself to give it to you. But its time.", "What? What do you mean he left me something mom?", "just come
with me" she said. So I followed. We walked into the garage and she took out a key from her pocket and handed it to me. "What does this go to?" I asked. She looked at me and then walked over to a surfboard and moved it, behind it was
a door that I had never even knew exsisted. "I'll leave you" she said and walked out, shutting the door behind her. I walked over to the door and unlocked it. It was a closet. When I opened it I saw the board. It was the board he was
riding the day of the accident. I couldnt keep the tears from falling. I had stopped having flashbacks and nightmares months back but something came over me and the day replayed over and over again in my head. All I could see was him
falling. When I pulled myself together I grabbed the board out of the closet and set it against the wall. Then I saw his old surf bag. He was in love with that bag. I sat down and unzipped it slowly. The first thing I found was his
journal. He wrote about all of our trips in here. Mexico, California, Hawaii, and South Africa. The next thing was the keys to his van. I thought he left that to mom, why would he leave that to me? I couldnt think about that right then
so I set them aside and reached for the last thing in the bag. A letter with my name on it. I opened it and it read " Harmony, If your reading this it means my biggest fear came true. I've left you. I know your thinking its your fault. But its not.
I surfed because I wanted to. It was my choice. Dont blame yourself. I remember the day you came to me and told me you wanted to surf. That was the happiest day of my life. Ive watched you grow over the years. Your good, you have potential.
Im sorry I left you. But Harmony I need you to do one thing for me. Dont give up on surfing. Its your passion. Ive seen you on those waves, you look happier riding pipeline than ive ever seen you in your whole life. Dont
hurt for me anymore. I am in peace. One with the earth. Now take my board, it is yours now. Ride away from it all Harmony, from all of your fears, from all the pain you feel for me. Your in the impact zone right now, get out. Before it
is to late. I love you kid.". That was the day I knew my mom was right. He wants me to surf. To be happy.

Two years to the day after my brother died, I found myself on the other side of the world on an island in the Indian Ocean with my brothers ashes, hoping to find some kind of peace from the grief that was still killing me inside. When
he died I was upside down, in the dark. I didn't know what to do with myself. I was lost. But I know why he left now. I know he died happy. The longboarders, the shortboarders, the land lovers, everyone who knew him came together. Even people
who were enemies, on that day, none of that mattered. Even they were holding each other's hands. Our love for my brother was what brought us all there. He made me grow into what I have become today, and that? that is something that
no one will ever be able to take away from me.




Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No comments yet.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: "https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr"

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)