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The kindest cut of all

Updated on April 12, 2012
The rise of a new superhero
The rise of a new superhero | Source

Oooh er and shock horror, there has been an attack upon the gilded palace of Scion. I’m sure you’ve all heard of Scion, although nobody actually knows what he looks like.

We know what he stands for though and we know he has a core group of supportive clones that work feverishly to improve his public image. For anyone who doesn’t yet know, the truth about what Scion really stands for lies (a good word here) within the anagram you can make of his name. The Clones of Dr Scion would have you believe he and his bastard sons are actually Icons of scientific progress exploring new frontiers and treading where no foot has ever trod all for the good of the nation.

In reality the more accurate picture emerges when the letters s-c-i-o-n are re-arranged to form c-o-i-n-s which is Scion’s only reason for existence. And before you get excited; those coins are not going to be seen by you or me. Instead they are headed for pockets that are already overflowing, but whose owners know no restraint and whose definition of excess is related only to arguments or protests that aim to curb any practice that enriches them further.

A better description of Scion’s activities would be, messing with nature, and undertaking risky experiments that have the potential to ruin the very industries they claim to be ‘improving’.

However this week it would seem that somebody breached the walls at Castle Scion and got into his garden of horrors. Scion had planted some magic beans in his garden which he said were going to turn into super tress that could leap tall building s in a single bound and... (Sorry wrong experiment). Scion’s trees were going to be the strongest, meanest, motherfuckin’ trees in the entire forest. They would be able to withstand a nuclear attack and they would be impervious to cancer, diabetes and autoimmune diseases and they would be able to breed like rabbits.

And then he says some cowardly snivelling self-righteous twerp decided we didn’t need trees with all these super powers and went and chopped them down. At least we think that’s what they did, because grumpy uncle Scion doesn’t want to talk about it much apart from blubbing about it being an act of vandalism and that it has put back his research by 12 months. He says he will replant the trees, but I doubt it. After all, if he is telling the truth those trees are gone, so I suspect either he or Granny Herald got that bit wrong. He will probably plant some more, but that is a different matter despite the fact it will be another attempt at this unfortunate experiment.

Well I say more power to Chainsawman, that superhero of the super-disenfranchised. Long may he continue to cut a swath through the petrifying forests of Scion.

When Scion first rose to power the Government appointed a sheila called Irma to keep an eye on him. Unfortunately that’s all she did; and the other eye remained firmly closed. Eventually she closed the remaining one as well and laid back and began thinking of New Cloneland. I don’t know what she did to make the Government nervous. Maybe it was an inappropriate relationship with Scion or maybe she just wasn’t quite friendly enough to Government (if you know what I mean). But in any event they have dredged up a new sheila, (or perhaps an old one with some new slap on), called Epa to keep an eye on him. I imagine the same thing will happen with her. Scion will tempt her with promises of riches beyond her wildest dreams and she too will soon be putty or some genetically engineered form of same in his great greasy paws.

Without people such as Chainsawman, Scion will be left to run riot through what remains there are of our land that have not been infected with the disease of short-term thinking and bottom-line only objectives. As to the identity of our superhero; who knows? But if I was a betting man, I’d say he might have had some help from the inside. I’d guess the resistance has some sleepers in Scion’s bed that he hasn’t noticed yet. Let’s hope they are super bedbugs. Now wouldn’t that be ironic?


The Merriam-Webster online dictionary gives the following definition for Scion:

1. : a detached living portion of a plant (as a bud or shoot) joined to a stock in grafting and usually supplying solely aerial parts to a graft

It seems quite a comprehensive explanation really. Detached from the tide of public opinion; Joined to big money and let’s not forget the other meaning for graft

Well done Merriam-Webster. You’ve obviously got the measure of our Scion.


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      Phil Ossifer 5 years ago from New Zealand

      Cheers for that and heaps of aroha to GE Free Tai Tokerau. I wish the whole country was GE Free

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      LInda Grammer (Farm Forester Gal) 5 years ago

      this is fucking hilarious, good on you, hurrah for Chainsaw Man (or Woman) who whacked over the transgenic pine trees before they could contaminate Bay of Plenty, the Waikato and goddess knows where else with GE pine pollen (which can travel hundreds of kms even with moderate wind speeds) written with love & bad attitude from GE Free Tai Tokerau (Northland)