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to linger in the mind

Updated on May 26, 2013


She stood there with no emotion,

the air was filled with commotion,

he rose suddenly,

and turned away from her,

just staring at an owl’s flight,

her eyes,

two immense pools of light,

utterly unmoved,

as he listened to the mingled

sounds of the night,

ghosts hovering over mountain peaks,

lowering her eyelids,

so that her lashes almost brushed

the roundness of her cheeks,

there was a mild shock of cries,

and he could smell the fear

coming from her liquid eyes,

but he just stood there,

his heart would dip,

and his thoughts would flip,

as her tongue moved slowly,

wetting her bottom lip,

the air around him was fresh,

as it brushed up against

his tortured flesh,

he could see his own life,

through high naked windows,

moving slowly it would seem,

like he was trapped in a bad dream,

catching his breath,

as he felt his body

advancing toward death,

then the haunting became a collection of whispers,

his eyes red,

nothing was said,

staring in ultimate fear,

realizing he was dead,

trapped forever in a nightmare,

the haunt was quiet and kind,

but to linger in the mind.

© 2012 Frank Atanacio

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    • Frank Atanacio profile image
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      Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton

      thanks so much acaetnna.. good to see you :)

    • acaetnna profile image

      acaetnna 4 years ago from Guildford

      Oh wow sounds as though Halloween is approaching! Great write as always!!

    • Frank Atanacio profile image
      Author

      Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton

      thanks for reading Ruch bless you

    • Ruchira profile image

      Ruchira 4 years ago from United States

      What a treat with halloween nearing...lol

      chilling read :)

    • Frank Atanacio profile image
      Author

      Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton

      Thank you Valley.. was trying to get into the spirit of the Haunting :) LOL

    • profile image

      Valleypoet 4 years ago

      A chilling read, with plenty of suspense...and a surprise, I assumed he was alive....was never quite sure of where it was going...just how I like it!!...good read my friend:-))

    • Frank Atanacio profile image
      Author

      Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton

      Thank you our dear ms brooks ill check it out now...:) bless you

    • Deborah Brooks profile image

      Deborah Brooks Langford 4 years ago from Brownsville,TX

      wow Frank.. You did it again... and I am scared .. lol .. spooky but with love!!

      here is the hub you waiting for

      https://hubpages.com/literature/Michelle-the-Rovin...

    • Frank Atanacio profile image
      Author

      Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton

      thank you so much Gypsy for popping by and Audrey.. visual? hmm thanks LOL and coffee.. good to see you again bless you all :)

    • coffeegginmyrice profile image

      Marites Mabugat-Simbajon 4 years ago from Toronto, Ontario

      Ghostly write, and yes, I got so excited! Death is hard to accept even for the dead. Good creeping contribution to Halloween! Woooooooo

      Awesome and interesting, Frank!

    • AudreyHowitt profile image

      Audrey Howitt 4 years ago from California

      You must be a very visual person--you certainly are in your writing! Such an interesting piece Frank!

    • Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

      Gypsy Rose Lee 4 years ago from Riga, Latvia

      Voted up. Ghostly, eery and definitely will linger on the mind. Another great one Frank.

    • Frank Atanacio profile image
      Author

      Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton

      thank you so much Blossoms for the visit good to see you... and again Alastar didn't have that Vampire theme in mind.. just a haunt.. but maybe I can pretend I had that theme all along..yeah? LOL thanks for the visit... and Sueswan good to see you and thanks for commenting on my lingers...:) bless you all Frank

    • Frank Atanacio profile image
      Author

      Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton

      My Dear sweet Faith.. I was just looking for something to write that can haunt and penetrate the mind.. but your break-down sounds better I'll take it! LOL thanks for reading.. and RoseMay50 and baby and doggie.. I like the Vampire curve here too maybe I can forget Faith and go with yours LOL you guys are the best bless you all Frank

    • Frank Atanacio profile image
      Author

      Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton

      Thanks Just a teacher and Jackie for stopping by my Haunt :) bless you both Frank

    • profile image

      Sueswan 4 years ago

      Hi Frank,

      This one gave me a chill but to read it was a thrill.

      Voted up and awesome.

      Have a good day.

    • Alastar Packer profile image

      Alastar Packer 4 years ago from North Carolina

      Eerie look into the mind of a Vampire as he gets ready for a victim or are they both of the undead? Regardless, a chiller with spooky atmospherics created in your inimitable style my friend. Perfect for the coming ghost and ghouls night. Up and awe for this twister,

    • BlossomSB profile image

      Bronwen Scott-Branagan 4 years ago from Victoria, Australia

      This is a bit different from the ones you usually write, but written just as well. You have a good style. Loved the twist at the end.

    • Rosemay50 profile image

      Rosemary Sadler 4 years ago from Hawkes Bay - NewZealand

      I too thought this was going to be a romance but then as her tongue moved to wet her lips it made me think that she was a vampire ready to sink her teeth into his neck, and now he too was trapped in that world. Gave me shivers and awesome for Halloween.

      A thumbs up from me.

    • Faith Reaper profile image

      Faith Reaper 4 years ago from southern USA

      I know you write of criminal scenarios, but on this one, I guess I'm thinking along other lines when reading. I think this is acatually a romantic poem, Frank. When I first read this I did not think of a literal death or a ghost as if somone had actually died, but that he is dying on the inside of his tormented soul due to this lingering quiet and kind "haunt" of a person he cannot get out of his mind and follows him into his dreams or nightmares due to whatever transpired between them. Ha. Way off base here, I know, but that is just me. Anyway, whatever it is, I think your words are beautifully despondent; if there is such a thing ---just going back to your title. I must be tired and over thinking this one. LOL Voted up, awesome, beautiful and interesting

      God bless. In His Love, Faith Reaper

      Well . . . on second thought he's deader than dead by the "haunt."

    • Jackie Lynnley profile image

      Jackie Lynnley 4 years ago from The Beautiful South

      Ok, so I can feel better about it I am gonna pretend the ghost of one the girls he killed finally got him.

    • justateacher profile image

      LaDena Campbell 4 years ago from Somewhere Over The Rainbow - Near Oz...

      Very interesting...love the little twist...

    • Frank Atanacio profile image
      Author

      Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton

      thank you Seeker7 for visiting my haunt :)

    • Seeker7 profile image

      Helen Murphy Howell 4 years ago from Fife, Scotland

      My favourite subject captured in a beautiful, sad poem! And what great timing with Samhain/Halloween just around the corner! This is a poem to unsettle the mind and take you places you'd rather not go - awesome!!

    • Frank Atanacio profile image
      Author

      Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton

      Thanks MOMs good seeing you and Lathing.. it's hard for me to do romantic..LOL but thanks anyways and dghbrh always good to see you commenting and stopping by bless you all :)

    • dghbrh profile image

      deergha 4 years ago from ...... a place beyond now and beyond here !!!

      I will follow LaThing here....I too thought the same. Nevertheless.....its sad yet with so much feeling you poured in that the suspense was really edgy very much! All votes upward and sharing too, Frank. Good job done, you are actually outshining yourself here in this one.

    • LaThing profile image

      LaThing 4 years ago from From a World Within, USA

      And I thought finally Frank is writing a romantic poem! But, alas..... it's has a sad ending, but, Oh So well written! Another awesome poem, left in suspense till the end!

      Voting up and everything :)

    • Moms-Secret profile image

      Lissette 4 years ago from Central Florida

      Ghosts! :) Awesome. You are in the spirit of the season.